Love, Life, And Lies- Regulus Black

.blood and salt.

.i can't describe what it felt like. it was excruciating and yet, i felt numb. my heart screamed in pain and yet, there was complete silence. i can't quite put it into words but i know this, i died and yet, i live.

We debated for a whole week on how to move forward.

A whole week, and we were just as lost at the end of it as we were at the beginning.

There was no plausible way for us to get the Horcrux out of that cave. The boat to the island -as Kreacher told us- only held one wizard of age. And I was adamantly against letting Regulus go alone.

He brought the idea up several times through the course of the week, but I shot it down quickly. The nightmares had been too frequent, seemed too real. I wouldn't let him go knowing that what I saw had a possibility of happening.

We were locked in a stalemate. He firmly believed it was the only way forward, but I wouldn't even entertain the thought.

Christmas came and went, and the New Year loomed before us. We had finally gotten a dusting of snow. It blanketed the world with white, making everything seem fresh and pure.

What a deceit that was.

Oddly enough, things had been relatively quiet for several days. Like the calm before a massive storm.

It unnerved me.

The Dark Lord hadn't called any meetings since he asked to borrow Kreacher. In fact, no one had even seen so much as a glimpse of him since that night. Many were happy for the respite, but I wasn't. I knew that if he wasn't actively making plays he was planning something big, I felt it deep in my bones.

That's why I wasn't surprised in the least when Regulus was called to the Dark Lord's side and given instructions to go on a raid with Travers, Avery, and Nott. The calm had to subside at some point. I almost wanted the storm to come. Waiting for it was almost more terrifying.

I should have known something was wrong that afternoon when Regulus bid me goodbye. Should have known something was off.

He pulled me into a tight embrace, and clung to me tighter than he ever had before. His hands wound up through my hair, and he kissed me deeply, passionately.

When he pulled away, there were tears in his eyes. He gently brushed his fingers across my cheek, and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

"No matter what happens, remember how much I love, and have always loved you." He whispered, his voice strained.

I thought he was just worried about the raid. Every time we said goodbye, there was a possibility it could be the last time. I thought he was just being overcautious.

What a complete fool I was.

I didn't think much of it because I had my own assignment. Teaching Occlumency to Bellatrix and to Severus. I was too distracted by my hatred of delving into Bellatrix's mind to notice what Regulus's actions meant.

A loud knock sounded at the door of the drawing room, startling me from my stupor.

I was expecting the interruption, but had lost track of time pouring over books Regulus had pulled from the library that he thought might be helpful.