Recurring Dream of a Memory Part 1 & 2

Part 1: 1. All Alone

 She proceeds swimming out to sea, the ball just in reach. She tries to reach out for it but pushes it further out. She tries again and grabs it.

She holds the slimy red ball in her palm. It's slightly ruined but still a valuable object. The ball is palm-sized just big enough to put her fingertips around the top of the ball. She looks up and sees the car already packed up and ready to move. She lowers her head to the ball. It marked Amelia Rose. She wondered why the ball was marked with her name on it. Amelia gazes around the jetty and glimpses down at a rock with a hole the same size as the ball in her hand. She remembered the ball she used to play with her siblings then realized nobody was around her. Those kids were not real; they were a memory.

She felt more lost than ever.

She watches as fish swim around near her feet, the seaweed catching one of them. She gently and slowly bends down to release the fish from the seaweed. She hears a strange noise like something was starting up. She looks up to see the boat leaving without her.

She quickly swims to the shore and hurries across the jetty, trying to get the drivers attention, but nothing seems to work. She's stuck with no direction. She sits at the edge of the jetty kicking her feet across the water. A tear rolls down her face. Everything seemed to go extremely wrong no matter where she went. Nothing seems to go right. She looks to the right of the jetty and notices a rowboat. She runs back and grabs her shoes from the shore. She steps on a shell and lets out a little cry. She instantly picks her foot up from the sand, looks at her barefoot, it went straight through her foot. Soon she found blood pouring out of her foot. Great, what can go wrong now? She lifts her top and rips the outline of the shirt and lightly encases the wound.

Leaving the shirt soaking all the blood.

She raises herself from the ground and casually limps to the edge of the jetty and gently places herself within the rowboat. Looking down at her foot, her shirt covered in blood. She puts her foot up to rest and starts rowing the boat around to the other side of the beach. The rapidness of the slow waves heading towards her is fast, moving through the water. The heavy wind strikes moving the boat in another direction, pushing her further up the beach towards the bridge in the distance. She recognizes the bridge. A sharp pain pressed firmly against her stomach, that sick feeling. Soon she realizes where she is. She quickly raises her head to the bridge's ledge, and the tire marks were still in place the way she remembers. Her head lowers, and she tries not to cry. She gets to the place where the accident happened, the place she felt the most scared. Didn't think she would have the strength and the bravery to go back.

She tied the rope tightly to the edge of the rock so that the boat wouldn't move. She cuts a bit of rope and wraps the rest of it around her foot to keep the wound protected. Suddenly the boat tips over while fixing her wound, making her feel breathless just like the day she went underwater, struggling to breathe. She controls her breathing and opens her eyes, soon to see her old car wreckage damage among the ocean bottom. She starts to swim further down to get a closer look.

 She sees her sister's dummy float past her, but down further; she sees something worth grabbing, her brothers and sisters stuffed toys in the bag that is slightly ripped. They never left home without them. They were always by their side. But where are they? They are underwater without them. Her siblings are alone with nothing to hold, nothing to hug, nothing to bring to heaven with them.

Nothing.

She swims further down towards the car on the ocean floor and hasn't come up for air. She gets to the bag and holds onto the top. She swims out of the car, trying to breathe for air. Her foot gets caught in the car, catching on the shirt wrapped around her foot. She tries to undo the shirt from her foot; the car moves slightly, making it harder to get unstuck. She gets pulled back down; she starts to panic in fear.

She is struggling to breathe. She's fighting all the strength of her body to hold her breath, so she doesn't drown. She tries once more to climb back up to the car, but it's hard to do upside down. She looked like she was doing sit-ups but upside down. She is more scared than ever, just like the accident.

All the memories from the accident came flooding back into her mind. The accident was all she could think about now. She left her parents to die, how she left her siblings asleep and didn't bother waking them up. All these questions came back into her mind. Why didn't she die with the rest of them? Why did she leave them alone? What would her parents think of her right now? She remembers the terrible accident all too well. She knew she would never speak to any of her family members after the traumatic accident. She was the only one left. The only one that survived the accident. She can still feel the accident like she was still right there.

Will she ever forgive herself? She didn't know.