Sanders Sides Oneshots

• Internalised Homophobia • Logan § Virgil •

𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒐

trigger warnings: homophobia - internalised homophobia - terrible parents - transphobia - misuse of pronouns - porn - short jerking off scene

• ———— •

Logan was confused and, quite frankly he hated it.

He wasn't the type to be 'confused'. Top of his class since kindergarten, straight A's no matter the subject he was set to be the most successful student his school has ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Yet here he was, sitting in the library with an open book in front of him, confused.

It wasn't the books doing, in fact he's read it a few times already and had nailed the meaning of it pretty head on. The English teacher's adore him, it's so easy to have a back and forth conversation about what's behind each word in a story. While English itself isn't his desired subject he'll deal with it, he's grown up dealing with many classes unnecessary and borderline idiotic, in his personal opinion.

His favourite lesson was science, more specifically; chemistry. It caught his attention from day one and has always managed to pique his interest like nothing before, he had studied the entire mogul before school even started that year and finished all work given ten minutes into class. Lest it was an experiment, then he would take his time, slowly watching everything unfold like they should. The control over the chemicals, where they would go and what they would do was Logan's favourite part. Watching things change colour, hiss and sizzle. He's had dreams of sitting in a laboratory, working on experiments for hours since he could remember and plans to become a chemical engineer once graduating.

It was almost as if he had everything figured out, his parents couldn't be more than proud if they tried and fully support him in his endeavours. His friends look up to him, the teachers practically worship the ground he walks on yet here he was... lonely, surrounded by absolute silence as his thoughts run wild.

He lost his brother a few months ago. Not to death, thankfully but... at this point Logan had no idea if he were still breathing the same air.

His name was Virgil, and Logan... loved him. His elder by two years Logan followed in Virgil's footsteps whenever he could, spending so much time in his bedroom as a child it was almost as if they shared. Virgil loved him back, at least Logan liked to think he did, though he wasn't the greatest brother the day he lost him.

It was an ordinary morning, Saturday, the sun shining bright and early, streaming through the gaps between the blinds. Logan awoke at exactly eight am on the dot, stretching his arms above his head before sighing, swinging his legs over the side and standing up. He followed through the morning routine, taking a brisk shower, getting dressed, brushing his teeth and leaving his bedroom to make breakfast when Virgil appeared.

It was unusual to see him awake before midday on the weekends, to say Logan was surprised would be an understatement.

"Can I talk to you?" Virgil requested and Logan, of course, agreed and stepped inside. His room was much darker compared, blackout curtains hiding the outside world, LED lights stuck to the edges of the ceiling, always a soft glowing purple. Clothes were strewn everywhere, his desk littered with countless drawings - each and every one beautiful, Logan always admired Virgil's artistic ability, no matter how much he tried himself he could never draw anything better than a stick figure.