Domineering

Twenty-Seven

"Take me through what happened on the night of the incident, step by step." I take a deep breath before responding and close my eyes to block Harley out.

"El and I got ready and then we waited downstairs to be picked up by Harry and Louis. Then the doorbell rang so we thought it was them, El went to answer it so I followed her" I pause, playing with my fingers.

"Take as long as you need, you're doing really well so far."

"Uh...and then...when she opened the door there was a man we didn't know there. He grabbed Eleanor and...she...she shouted at me to go upstairs and find a gun and press a panic button." My speech speeds up at the end, wanting it to be over.

"What did you do then?"

"I ran upstairs to Harry's room and put a chair in front of the door to block it…then…then I got the gun from the drawer and...and...sh-uh..shot the man" I open my eyes and look at Harley who is nodding whilst taking notes.

"Okay, good, we're making progress. I just want to ask you about the panic button and the conversation you had with Louis?"

"Oh yeah" I say, having completely forgotten that part of 'the incident'. Louis must have told him about that. "Um, well I found the panic button and pressed it and it called Louis and he tried to calm me down because I couldn't breathe and was freaking out and then he told me to use the gun."

"How do you feel about killing the man?"

I frown at Harley, narrowing my eyes. Is this a trick question? How the hell does he think I feel?

"Are you serious?"

"Yes" his face is void of emotion.

"How the fuck do you think I feel? I feel like complete shit and I don't know what to do about it. I can't sleep at night because I'm reminded every night of what I've done. I shouldn't be alive right now, it should be me not him...I don't feel like myself anymore" I rant at him, breathing heavily with anger.

"Why is that?"

"I'm not answering any more of your questions" I spit at him, getting up and walking out of the office. I turn left, walking into the bedroom and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I lean back against the door, slowly sinking to the floor and letting my emotions out. My hands ball up into fists and tears trail down my face.

"River?" Harry's voice is followed by 3 light knocks on the door. I don't answer him, not able to through my crying. "River unlock the door, let me in."

I continue to ignore him, scrunching my eyes up to rid them of tears and rubbing them with the backs of my hands in an attempt to stop.

"I d-don't want t-to t-talk" I manage to say through the waves of tears, "just leave me alone" I cry and bury my face in my arms.

I can't face him right now, I've cried in front of him enough times. If there's one thing worse than crying, it's crying in front of someone else.

-

"I need to talk to you about Carina" Harry says to me after I have calmed down and he convinced me to sit in his office so we could talk.

"Carina? My friend Carina? What’s she got to do with anything?"

"She's filed a report to the police about your 'disappearance' and they're investigating it."

"What?” There’s a pause as I try to form the jumbled thoughts in my head into words. “But-no-no Harry I can't deal with this right now" I put my head on the desk, burying my hands in my hair. "Make it go away Harry, please" I whine. If I didn’t have a million other things running through my brain I probably would be embarrassed at my child-like behaviour.