It's pounding now and I'm unable to do anything about it. Maybe I should? But, I ask myself why? Would anyone even notice if I fell even deeper?
DROWN, DROWN, DROWN.
I will lose everything if it means to feel anything. I will leave my soul if one asks me to. I will do anything. I want to be gone. Gone to a point where none can touch me. None will take my hand and feel the tremble in my heart. I want to be lost. A lost soul that never gets found. Maybe I can stay as a ghost and lurk around.
I don't want their concern. I don't want their pity. I just want them to see me for who I am.
When I reach my hand out, no one is there to capture it. Why should I let them in? I asked for them to give me their hand to hold, yet they never did. It would always take me in, teasing, biting at me, a predator. An enemy to one's own soul. And now, I am here again. In the same cycle.
Like I always will be. Till someone does notice me, notice me as I am. Instead of what I should be, who I should be, what I should be.
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hiya!
feeling very unmotivated right now. just managed to update this chapter. chapters are already written. could barely edit this chap so, I'll come back tomorrow to edit as I will be dropping chaps 7 & 8 as well then. I honestly feel guilty for disappearing hence, why I wanted to update ;)))
*･ﾟ ✦ hiya dearies!
june 13, 2022: to this day, I sometimes feel this way. when you're stuck with no way out. but, you're the one who made yourself get stuck so now you're just pushing yourself deeper and deeper, till it bleeds out. and, you're drowning with no one to save you, but yourself. that's the sad truth. we're all born alone and we all die alone. we're lonely creatures. with temporary connections. at least, that's what I've found to be true.
even if you're stuck, keep swimming, my dear. while dark days do exist. brighter days exist too. keep swimming for those days. you deserve them & you will have them.
qotd: do you know how to swim? any thoughts about this chapter? reaction/emoji's are always welcome :D constructive criticism is always welcome!
～ sylvia ✨
* * * keep breathing, <3 yourself, be + always, something is always possible, stay safe & ily ;)
hope you have a wonderous day/night <3
QOTD: "Balance is not something you find, it's something you create."
