And Then Came Forever | 3

Twenty-One.

[21]

Jade was allowed to leave the hospital two days later, but she wasn't happy about it.

Beck had insisted she'd stay with him, and although she didn't want to, it wasn't really like she had a choice anyway. There was no other place she could go.

She ended up locking herself in the guestroom all day, refraining from seeing Beck, or Bella. She wanted to see her daughter, but she didn't want to answer any crazy questions the young girl might've had.

Beck didn't even bother trying to coax Jade out of the room. He understood that she needed time. Time for herself before she had to go back to the institution.

He was just trying to help her, okay?

Jade knew he just wanted her to get better. She knew he had the best intentions for her.

All she needed right now was music. It usually helped her a lot, to listen to a song that could just let her let go.

She grabbed her phone, scrolling through her phone before she picked a song that was in her playlist, but not one she had heard of before.

I know you've got the best intentions
Just tryin to find the right words to say
Promise I've already learned my lesson
But right now I wanna be not okay

Jade sighed, running a hand through her hair. She was just so tired of everyone telling her it was all going to be okay.

I'm so tired, sittin' here waitin'
If I hear one more "just be patient"
It's always gonna stay the same

She just wanted to stop trying. It may be selfish and stupid, but none of that mattered to her. Trying didn't get her anywhere.

So let me just give up
So let me just let go
If this isn't good for me
Well I don't wanna know

She hated good advice. Or the reasons why she could be alright if she tried. If she could be a different person, she would.

Let me just stop tryin'
Let me just stop fightin'
I don't want your good advice
Or reasons why I'm alright

You don't know what it's like

Nobody understood her. Nobody knew what she was going through. Nobody cares enough to ask. Beck had tried to ask what was wrong, but Jade knew that if she told him, he wouldn't believe her. Nobody would ever believe her.

You don't know what it's like

Can't stop these feet from sinkin'
And it's startin' to show on me
You're starin' while I'm blinkin'
Just don't tell me what you see

She was just so done with it all. Done trying. Done trying for other people's benefit. It was exhausting.

I'm so over all this bad luck
Hearin' one more "keep your head up"
Is it ever gonna change?

It would just be so much better if the pain would just go away. Leave her for good this time. It hurt way too much to keep going, and she just wanted it to end.

So let me just give up
So let me just let go
If this isn't good for me
Well I don't wanna know

Why wouldn't Beck just let her give up? It couldn't be all about Bella. There had to be another reason.

Let me just stop tryin'
Let me just stop fightin'
I don't want your good advice
Or reasons why I'm alright

You don't know what it's like

She wasn't going to let him send her back to the institution. She didn't care if it had been five years since she'd been inside the place. She wasn't going back.

You don't know what it's like

Don't look at me like that
Just like you understand
Don't try to pull me back

She just wanted to leave. She was growing too tired of living. Why bother doing something you don't want to do? What was the point?

Let me just give up
Let me just let go
If this isn't good for me
Well I don't wanna know

Nobody was ever going to understand her.

Let me just stop tryin'
Let me just stop fightin'
I don't want your good advice
Or reasons why I'm alright

You don't know what it's like

Nobody was ever going to know what it was like.

You don't know what it's like
You don't know, you don't know, you don't know
You don't know what it's like

You don't know what it's like.

When nobody understands you, when nobody knows what it feels like, that's when it's time to give up.

And it was finally Jade's time to give up.

-----

I listened to this song randomly and was like "omg this song actually fits perfectly- "

It's You Don't Know by Katelyn Tarver btw, a sad but good song.

Comment your thoughts please! Do you think Jade will make it?

Until next time!
~Izzy