Behind The Lens And Vogue

~|The Confession|~

~✨~
l didn't know he could be this hurt, and he'd lose his grip over something like that. He looked so remorseful back at his office, and I really wanted to be in his arms. Maybe that way he'd get a comfort and know that I still loved him. I missed the brightness in his eyes, how he'd be so adorable when he talked about things he liked and I'd be so engrossed in his motions and voice, so enthusiastic and cute. He looked wrecked, and confused, but when I appeared in his office, a little light shone in his eyes, but it didn't last that long. He really wanted to make things right, and I'd make him. I wanted him to open up to me. He was a very secretive person, and I knew how hard it would be to open up about something he had been covering up for so many years. I promised myself I wouldn't take advantage of his chance to be vulnerable to me, and if there'd be any secrets, they'd be safe in my heart.

I had left work early, and freshened up. Feeling lazy, I wore a black t-shirt I took from his closet two weeks ago, and I refused to give it back. It was printed the picture of Darth Maul from Star Wars. He is a great fan of Star Wars, and he has tons of t-shirts that were basically Star Wars oriented. I had loosely tucked it in my black shorts, and I wore a pair of black sandals. My hair was up in a bun and I wasn't wearing any make up. I was sprawled on my couch watching TV, but when it was getting late, I went to the kitchen to make pasta as I await the sausages. That was his favorite food.



I was almost done when I heard a knock on my door. There was a high chance it was him. When I went to open the door, there he was. He looked so sad, and it hurt me. In a black hoodie, a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, finishing the look with a pair of black Nike flip flops, his feet covered in thick grey socks, he stood there, like a lost soul, who couldn't find his redemption. His hair fell on his face, and his eyes were just puffy, and he looked broken. He was looking at me halfway, waiting for me to let him in. I stood aside to have him come in. He had a brown bag in his hands, and he walked over to the couch, but he just stood there, looking lost.

"Hey," I greeted. He looked at me, and nodded. I had never seen this side of him. This side that was off, lone, and quiet, wanting to be left alone. I was almost scared, but somehow I was confident he'd come around. He handed me the brown bag and I went to the kitchen to warm the spicy sausages. However, I also saw a note in the bag, folded once. I took it and looked at it. It was his handwriting. It read:

   "Hey babe, you look beautiful. Thanks for this
    night in advance"

I blushed, and folded it back into the bag. I heard him switch on the TV, and found a movie to watch. I peeked through the kitchen door, and he was seated on the floor, one leg straight on the floor, and the other one folded, where he rested his arm. I couldn't see his face, because he had worn the hood over his head. I walked back in, and served the food in two plates. I knew he'd choose to be comfortable in the living room. I went up my room and took a large table mat I kept in my closet and spread it on the floor of the living room. I brought the plates and forks, set them down, and took two bottles of apple juice from my fridge, giving Alec one. I sat on the opposite side of him, the food between us. He was still quiet, so painfully quiet, and he was staring at the food. Not once did he raise his head to look at me.

I touched his leg, and squeezed it a little. He looked up, and his eyes were so glassy, like he was fighting back tears. I felt his pain, even though I didn't know what it was he was going through. We ate the food in silence, and at one point he also touched my leg, his hand was so warm, and I looked at him, threw him a smile and continued to eat. When we finished eating, he took the plates to the sink, while I folded the table mat after I had wiped it. He washed them and placed them on the dish rack to dry. I saw him walk to the guest washroom and he came out, with water on his face. He had probably washed it.