Lips Like Coffee

cup: 35

Norma

This man never failed to surprise me with what came out of his mouth. I blinked then stared at him for a moment, frozen in place. He couldn't be serious.

"Is that even a good idea," I asked, bouncing on the tips of my toes.

"It's sudden, but I don't think it's a bad idea," Pen said, placing his hands on my shoulders.

My feet flattened on the ground again, and I stared up at him with wide eyes. He was serious about this. A deep part of me wanted this, but I wasn't sure what the decision would bring if I agreed to it. Was this really a good idea?

"If you need time to think about it, that's fine," Pen said, smoothing a piece of my hair back. "But I want this, and I think it'll be good for both of us."

"I don't need time, I want it too."

Taking my hands in his, Pen pulled me closer to him. He rubbed his thumb over the sides of my hands, then wrapped my arms around his neck. Pressing our foreheads together, he closed his eyes as he held me against him.

"I miss you so much, Puddin."

"I miss you too."

Pen opened his eyes again, and stared deep into mine. He smiled at me, which made me grin in return.

"So we're doing this, we're moving in together again?" The way his whole face lit up as he asked me could have powered a small village.

"I guess so."

I didn't know if this was a good decision, but I didn't want to pass this up either. Living with Pen again was what I've wanted for a long time. Being under my brother's thumb was becoming suffocating, and I knew moving out would give me the freedom I craved again. James had become overbearing a few months ago, giving me a curfew and checking on me regularly when I leave the apartment. I didn't understand where it came from.

Pulling away from Pen, I tugged the end of my skirt down. I scratched the back of my neck as something dawned on me.

"Have you talked to Kitty about this? Do you think she'll be okay with that?"

Pen scratched at his jawline as he looked away from me. My eyes lowered at him, and I folded my arms across my chest. Neither of us should be making this decision without consulting our partners, no matter how much either of us wanted it.

"I was going to talk to her after I talked to you. I didn't expect you to say yes right away, so I was hoping this wouldn't be a problem."

"Either way, you should have talked to her first."

Dragging his hands down his face, Pen groaned as he looked at the ceiling. I locked my eyes on the black band on his right hand, and something like sadness came over me. What would I do if that ring became a wedding ring? Of course I'd be there for him no matter what, but how would I feel?

My mind tried to race with the thought of him getting married. Wearing a nice tuxedo and smiling wide at her; why her? This wasn't healthy. None of that should bother me, yet it all does. I wanted to convince myself that my feelings were nothing more than a savior complex. That what I was feeling came from being grateful, for him taking me in. I wasn't doing a good job of convincing myself.

"Puddin, are you with me," I heard as I felt a hand on my cheek.

"Yeah, I'm with you," I said, taking a deep breath.

He pressed his forehead to mine again, while stroking the crest of my cheek. I held his hand against my face as he did, then closed my eyes as I pulled away. I couldn't keep getting caught up in these moments with him. Even though I wanted every moment with him to be like this.