Not Even Death

A Little Favor

"Jacen! We don't bite people. That was mean," Ezra sounds strained as he makes pain-filled hissing noises.

"I'm back with fresh night clothes!" I shout as I enter the refresher where Jacen has successfully splashed water on every surface except himself. Bending down to toddler height, I try to make myself clear and understanding, "That means you have to let Ezra finish scrubbing, so you can go nighty-night."

"No!" Jacen slaps a hand into the water and catches me in the spray.

"Hey, buddy, that wasn't very nice either," Ezra tries to explain before hand number two crashes into the water.

"That's it," I grumble to Ezra. "Go get Kanan."

At the mention of his father's name, Jacen begins to sniffle, and before I can do anything to stop it, big fat tears stream down his chubby cheeks. A high pitch squall soon echos through the refresher.

Why do I offer to help with these things? I'm literally the worst with kids!

"Jacen Caleb Syndulla."

That's all it takes. The world-shattering screams stop immediately.

Kanan rests on one knee to be eye level with his son. When he speaks, his voice is calm and easy, "Why won't you let Ezra and Sabine help you get ready for bed, Sev?"

Since Hera left in the middle of the night all those months ago, Kanan has been reserved, quiet. His movements turned slow and labored. For the past few weeks, he seemed to just deflate like the weight of everything was too much. I can only remember how it felt to lose Ezra, how I just needed to get to him, how I just wanted to know that he was safe. I would feel the same way if I received the transmission that the love of my life was killed in the line of fire.

But today, something seems different about the Jedi.

"Ezwa won't sing Mama's swong."

Kanan picks up the soft-bristled brush Ezra left abandoned in the lukewarm water. He starts to gently scrub the child's skin. How is Kanan so karabasting patient? My parents would have scolded me until I had nightmares. I love them, but we are Mandalorians.

"Ezra doesn't know Mama's song; he and Sabine were just trying to help Papa," Kana explains, still calm and gentle as he continues to bathe the kid.

Fresh tears flow from the small child. He begins to babble something like an apology or an explanation, but it all runs together and mixes with his sobs. I don't understand a word Jacen says, but his father does. I think.

"That's so much nicer," Kanan praises. "Do you think we could teach Ezra and Sabine Mama's song?"

Ezra, Kanan, and I make ourselves comfy on the cold floor as Kana swaddles his son in an old and ratty towel. Jacen drops into his papa's cybernetic lap and excitedly pats Kanan's knee.

"Swong-swong. Peease, Papa. Sing swong-swong!" Jacen cheers.

"Okay, Sev, but you gotta sing with me." Out of the corner of his mouth, Kanan whispers, "I'm about to murder this, and if either of you says a word, you get to clean the exhaust tanks for the next year."

"Got it," Ezra whispers, but I can see the thin lines of a smirk on his face.

Kanan and Jacen, but mostly Kanan, begin to sing:

"I've tread on mountains tall; I've stood in chilling waterfalls. My eyes a thousand skies have seen and more worlds than you could think to dream... But you are my work of art, and no single force can keep us apart. Not... Even... Death."

I can tell the song must be beautiful when Hera sings, but... Kanan tries his best. The moment the song ends Jacen begins demanding another round.

"Sorry, but Papa has some very important business to take care of," Kanan says softly as he turns the green-haired boy to face him. "It's a surprise for you and the other Spectors, but you have to mind Uncle Ezra and Aunt Sabine. Think you can do that for me?" I can hear genuine excitement in Kanan's words, but about what, I could only guess.

I didn't think human or twi'lek lips could pout as hard as Jacen's at this moment, but he has to get it from somewhere. He hasn't really grasped the concept of blindness yet.

"I'm counting on you, Sev. Will you be a good boy, for Papa?"

Jacen's frown deepens before he releases the pout. "Oh-kay," he says in two overly exaggerated syllables.

The rest of Jacen's nightly routine goes much smoother even after Kanan leaves on his secret mission. Ez and I let Jacen fall asleep in the little space between us on my bunk. He looks so peaceful and cute that I almost forget how he soaked my armor and bit my boyfriend. Almost.

"Let's have a kid of our own," Ezra whispers suddenly with his eyes focused on the toddler. "One day," he adds as a hurried afterthought, "not any time soon!"

Um... What?

"You literally just got bitten, and we witnessed Battle for Lothal part two!" is my only counter.

"He just misses Hera, and I can't blame him for that."

Neither can I, actually.

I decide to change the subject, fast, "Did Kanan tell you what he was up to?"

"Nope," I catch the tinge of suspicion in his voice.

"Same here," I mumble.

I want to let my mind wander what Kanan could possibly find so important and secretive, but Ezra's unexpected comment still surfaces. Kids? How could we possibly be ready to think about kids? I couldn't even get Jacen to take a bath without drenching the refresher!

But maybe... We are ready to think about something new?

"Is that old tower still empty?" I point to the one painted in bright, fiery pinks, reds, and oranges.

Ezra's eyebrows knit together. "I guess?"

"Well, let's save the kids talk for later, but how about we get a place of our own?" I offer.

Ezra's thick fingers interlace with mine over Jacen's sleeping form. "That sounds—"

But he never gets to finish.

Chopper bursts into the room beeping, chirping, whirling, and banging his metal arms against his orange head. Of course, this wakes Jacen up with a whimper.

"Chopper!" Ezra raves. "What the karabast has gotten into you? Jacen was sleeping!"

The droid beeps again. And we run.