our own complexity

V

     Julian Dorian's house was just like any house on the nice side of our town. Big front yard, and a big two-story house. It was strangely painted red and looked like it rather belonged to a California beach neighborhood than a small town like ours, but it was still really pretty. I was always amazed by people's houses every time I went to a new one, I just couldn't believe how much money some people had. The success I could only dream of having. For me, for my mom.

     We had to park a few blocks away because the street was packed, and I wondered if their neighbors were annoyed. After we got off the car, I could appreciate May's outfit more. She had this little hot pink dress that made her long legs look stunning, and suddenly my outfit was not as cool and nice as I thought. Whatever, fine. As we walked through the front yard to the house, I could feel the music inside the house blasting through the floor. Everything was shaking, and May's smile just kept getting wider and wider. This was her comfort zone.

     As soon as we crossed the front door, we were welcomed by a bunch of people dancing. The air was hot, people held red cups and if May was talking to me next to my ear, I wouldn't be able to hear her. It was kind of like the movies but not really. The movies don't show the people passed out on the floor and the groups of people that weren't dancing and would keep to their groups of friends. Or just the dirtiness of it. How suffocated it could make you feel.

     May took my hand and helped me swim through what seemed and felt like an endless ocean of people. I noticed how all girls were dressed in short dresses and even shorter tight skirts and I just wished I had the confidence. I felt bad because I didn't feel comfortable with my body yet. It seemed so dreamy.

     "The Dorian's parties are always good and the cops never bust them," May explained and I could barely hear her over the music. "But they don't throw a lot because their parents are almost never out of town, so when it actually happens, everyone comes. That's why it's really crowded, but don't worry we don't stay here with all these people."

     Then, there was a room with fewer people. It was quieter, had a scarlet-colored couch, and a ping pong table where cups had been placed like bowling pins. There was also a long bar aisle with stools, there, Julian was sitting. He was drinking something clear in a glass cup, dressed in blue rolled-up jeans and a buttoned-up black shirt, top three buttons free. He looked really nice. Also mysterious and serious. Maybe he looked a little more than nice.

     As if feeling my eyes on him, he looked up to me and our eyes connected for a few seconds before he smiled and started walking towards us.

     "I knew you'd come." And again he looked happy, but it was fake, obviously. Still, I couldn't help the warmth taking over my face. I held out my open palm.

     "Ten bucks," I smirked. He chuckled while fishing for something in his back pocket, then he gave me a crumpled ten-dollar bill. "You were ready!"

     "I was ready." He assured and then he said hi to May.

     "How do you guys know each other again?" She asked smirking at God-knows-what. I didn't really know if Julian liked people knowing he was failing English.

     "He cheats off my math homework," I half-lied. She nodded knowingly, she cheated off my math homework too, and then walked past us toward a group of people sitting in a circle on one side of the room.

     Julian slid one of his hands into my lower back, slowly guiding me the way May had gone. I could feel his cool touch tingling my nerves but I didn't do anything to get rid of it. It was kind of nice. Now closer I could recognize some of the people in the circle as just known people at Alto, even Julian's sister, and I wasn't even surprised to see Polly there too, dressing as sexy as ever.  Although, she was surprised to see me there. I felt my cheeks flushed. She followed me with her gaze as I sat on the floor beside May since I basically came with her. Julian went ahead and sat on the other side of the circle.