our own complexity

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     "Be nice," my mother said. Her dark coils of hair had been styled in a low bun, and a flower-printed hair scarf made her look cheery like she wouldn't rather be sleeping her extra shifts off. Maybe she wouldn't rather. Maybe she wasn't like me. Maybe she liked family gatherings.

     "I'll try," I replied. She pressed her lips together, not sure if the answer was enough, and put her hand on my shoulder. I would try. I always tried.

     "Mom, did Ashton told you? He got a new game console." Cody, my little brother, was excited. He loved playing with his cousins because it was the one time he could hold something as expensive in his hands, let alone play with it.

     "So your uncle told me." She didn't sound interested, but apparently, Cody didn't notice, so he went on talking about games he'd seen on tv. My grandma stayed quietly behind, staring at a neighboring house. They were having a party and the music was as loud as it could be. It was a weird sight in this nice neighborhood. But I, personally, just wanted for the door to open so that the night could end as soon as possible. 

     And as a sign that there might be a God out there, the door opened. Aunt Karina's blonde head appeared, an apologetic smile decorating her small face. She stepped aside to let the four of us in. "Apologies, we were having some issues with dinner." She approached my mom and they kissed each other on the cheek.

     "I'm sure it'll be lovely either way."

     "You're so sweet." Then, she looked at me up and down. "I see you've grown some more in the past couple of months. How are you, Rosalie?"

     I forced myself to give her a smile. "I'm just glad to be here, Aunt Karina. It sure smells good."

     At that moment, Ashton came in the foyer saying quick hi's and swooped Cody away from us. We all chuckled a little. Then, we were guided to the living room, drinks were served and boring news were shared. Slowly, more family members started coming.  I lied. The air actually smelled bad. Like whoever had been cooking in the kitchen had used something rotten. But, hey, at least the house was nicely decorated with its framed travel pictures and expensive trinkets.

     Finally, Uncle Floyd came out of his office. His fancy buttoned-up shirt just slightly wrinkled from the day. I was surprised his wife didn't make him change. His dark hair was gelled back. He approached every small group of people that gathered across the room to make small talk. To acknowledge their existence, and when he got to my mom, grandma, and me, the first thing he did was hug grandma. You could see years of I'm sorries in their embrace like you always did. And then, he looked at me and my mom. 

     "If it isn't my favorite duo!" he said. I wanted to punch his face really hard. My mom probably wanted to, but her smile didn't quiver. She had years of experience with him. "Rosie, how's school? Freshman year's treating you right?"

     "It's great," I said dryly. "You just have to work through it."

     "Well, you can ask your mom how her high school experience was, and if you have questions about college come to me because... you know." My mom's smile was still there.

     "Hah, I'm good," I said, his smile did quiver but came back as quickly. I realized my mom was giving me a reproaching look. "But thank you." Maybe that'll calm it down. He excused himself and walked away to the next grouping.

     "You said you were going to try," my mom said with a severe look on her face.

     "I am trying. Didn't you hear me say 'thank you'?" she didn't laugh, just sighed, and then reached to tuck a strand of light brown hair behind my ear. 

     "I just-"

     "I know," I saved her the words. "Can I go get some air outside?"

     "Yes, you may." I smiled at her and walked off, smiling from time to time if a family member caught my eye. And then I stepped into the backyard, going through the sliding glass door.

     It was a cold November night. I could hear the music from the party next door faintly. The beats resonated under my feet. But besides that, it was silent. No sounds of traffic or night creatures. I could see my breath in puffs of gray clouds going up in the sky. And then, the silence was broken up by an approaching police siren. For a panicking second, I thought they were coming to Uncle Floyd's house, but then the patrol cars parked right in front of the house party. And I could hear the chaos erupting from where I was standing. Screams of people and steps running in all places. I couldn't see what was happening because of a wooden fence that separated the two properties, but it was loud enough to make me let out a small chuckle. It sounded like an out-of-a-movie experience, but my smile died out when something hit the fence, hard. I stayed quiet for a little bit, waiting it out, and then a dark shape climbed up the fence and landed in my Uncle's backyard.

     Their fall made a loud thud, and they stayed there laying on the floor for a while. I guess processing the pain because that was a high fall. I just stayed there, staring at them, the sirens and chaos were still going on in the background. They had a black hoodie on. I could partially see their jawline because they were looking up and the hood had come off a little bit, a few dark curls breaking free from the inside. A smoky huff escaped from their lips and they slowly started getting up. They dusted off their black skinny jeans as they straightened up, and finally, the hood came completely off as they registered my presence. 

     Oh.

     We locked eyes for a couple of seconds. His skin looked gray under the moonlight, and his eyes black. It was like a black and white canvas that came to life and was standing just a few yards away from me. It was a teenage boy, probably my age, with soft features, and pretty lips. His face looked familiar but I couldn't place it. Maybe he went to my school?

     My lips parted to say something, I don't remember what it was now, can't think of anything I could've said either. He then turned to the side, in direction of the fence's door that went to the front yard, and walked peacefully towards it, like the place belonged to him. And he looked even more casual opening the door and closing it. 

     Okay?

     That's when I realized that the screams had died down and the sirens were going away. I scoffed a laugh. That was weird. Okay. Whatever. 

     I looked back inside the house ad noticed how everyone was in the process of assembling at the large dining table. I went inside to take the sit I always took, besides my mom in the middle of the row. Grandma would try and sit beside Uncle Floyd or Aunt Karina, and Cody would sit with his cousin, still chatting about games and whatever 10-year-olds used to talk about at the time. Plates were served to us by some tired-looking maids, and after a cult-like prayer, everyone started eating and making conversation. 

     "Rosalie, have you talked to your dad recently?" I wouldn't have heard my uncle's voice over the other conversations, if it wasn't for him addressing me directly. The table quieted down, all eyes on me. I looked over at my mom as a reflex, and then swallowed the chicken I had been chewing.

     "No," I simply said. He shrugged, nonchalantly. He didn't really care for the answer. He just wanted to see my mother's reaction.

     "I was curious about what he'd be doing. Responsible man." My mom scoffed beside me and I was surprised she let the comment get to her.

     "Wouldn't know. But talking about missing people, where is that lady you got pregnant a couple of years ago? One would think you'd invite your baby mama. I mean, isn't she family?" I heard gasps around me, but I didn't break eye contact with him. His expression was ever so serious. Two could play the same game. Then, calmly, he started eating again.

     "She doesn't live in town and is busy."

      "Oh, yes! My bad. I forgot." I went back to my food. It took a couple of minutes for the table to recover its lively demeanor.

     Uncle Floyd didn't comment anything for the rest of the night, and Aunt Karina didn't kiss my cheek when we said our goodbyes.