Play Pretend (Calum Hood Fluff)

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Summary: Calum and (Y/N) get along like cats and dogs.

Based on Love Prompts #48: "Will you shut up for a moment and let me kiss you?" & 
#59: "What? Can't I just look at you?"
(Request: f1lottiem) (Words: 2.1k)
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"I made fresh coffee for anyone who might want some." Calum announces as he walks into the conference room.
"(Y/N) brought our Starbucks order already." Ashton comments, raising his paper cup in the air.
"I brought yours too. Oat milk with a little brown sugar, right?" I ask him, smiling softly at the man who is looking at me with a furrow.
"I'll have the one I made myself." He spits out, dragging his chair out and sitting on it while he brings his mug to his lips.
"Calum..." Ashton mumbles under his breath.
"What? How do I know she didn't poison my coffee? How do you know she didn't poison yours?" He asks, making me chuckle at his paranoia.
"Oh, we are going back to your asshole days again?" I blurt out, rolling my eyes as I fix my posture.
"Not again with this bullshit." Ashton groans; it is tiring for me even, always having a quarrel with the dude who can't accept the fact I will be opening for him.
"What? I am just saying, I don't know that woman. None of us does." He shrugs his shoulders at everyone. My eyes go wide and I am taken aback, really not knowing how to react to him right now.
"You really are a douche." I state, blinking unconsciously.
He stares at me for a moment, the whole room going silent just as the executives walk in the room.
I really don't know why this dude is so fucking aggrieved. He has been like that since he met me, which is so confusing because all his friends and acquaintances have been taking my ears off about what a great and lovely guy he is.


"Hey, (Y/N)... Can you wait a second?" Luke calls after me, making me stop in my tracks.
"Luke, I really need to put food in my stomach, or else I am going to eat all of you alive when we walk back into the conference room." I state and he chuckles.
"May I join you?" He asks, pointing at the elevator door.
"Sure." I reply, smiling at him softly.
"So..." He begins as we walk towards the elevator.
"So..." I repeat and stare at him.
"About Calum..." He goes on, scratching the back of his head.
"I really don't want to hear whatever you have to say about him." I let out and he sighs.
"I know. But he really isn't like that... Usually at least. He is very sweet and caring, a total love bear if I am honest. I don't know what is going on with him." He does the whole song and dance I've heard a million times this far.
"Well, it is a little hard for me to see that. He is a total jackass to me, in case you haven't noticed." I sass, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
"A little hard not to notice. But I don't know why he is like that with you. It is like you bring the worst in him." He explains but cringes as soon as the words leave his mouth.
"Gee, thanks for that, Hemmings." I reply, pressing the elevator button.
"That's not how I meant it. I am sorry."
"I know what you meant. But this is a bunch of bullshit. I tried to be nice to him, I tried to bite my tongue, but he is insufferable, and I never really did anything to him. So, I really don't want to hear what a great dude your friend is, because he is really not, at least not to me. I deserve better from him." I shrug my shoulders, earning a nod from him.
"I know you do. And he is going to get an earful about him being so mean, I promise." He assures me, making me sigh.
"Look, I just want a calm tour. There is enough drama in my life, I don't need that in my work-life as well." I state.
"We are all going to talk to him and I promise he is going to apologize." He holds his pinky up, making me chuckle.
"It's going to be quite an experience touring with all of you..." I chuckle, shaking my head at him.

(Calum's POV)
"Are you going to continue being an asshole to (Y/N), you dipshit?" Michael scolds, taking a seat across from me as I munch on my cookie.
"I am not an asshole." I protest, but he scoffs sarcastically.
"Dude, you accused her of poisoning our coffees. It's just coffee, say thank you, and drink it. She is really kind and you are a huge dick to her." He exasperates, but I just hum.
"You know I am right. We don't know what she wants from us." I reply but earn the most disappointed look from him.
"We want something from her. She has a solid fanbase and a profile that fits ours. She is a great choice for the opening act. Stop treating her like shit." He points out, making me sigh.
"I am really not... Fuck, I don't know what is going on. She is just... Frustrating." I let out, shrugging my shoulders. I just stare at my cookie, avoiding Michael's questioning gaze.
"Frustrating, huh?" He asks, his voice becoming teasing and cheerful.
"Yeah. Like, she gets me out of my head without even trying." I groan and Michael continues smirking, which makes me look at him confused.
"I think wittwe Cawum has a clush." He coos at me.
"Stop babying me."
"Stop acting like a little baby with a crush. It is gross and toxic. Man up and just, ask her out. Don't pull on her pigtails." He states confidently.
"I am not pulling on her pigtails. And I don't have a crush on her. She is just... Obnoxious..." I stutter but Michael seems unconvinced.
"And pretty. And awfully close to your type. So, suck it up like a big boy and admit that you like her, but your defenses are up so you are trying to make up excuses to convince yourself she is repulsing." He explains, tilting his head to the side.
"Who died and made you the head of psychoanalysis?" I ask him and he just shrugs.
"Freud." He sasses.

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