How Do We Live?

Chapter 12: Osmotic Pressure

"Open it." He mouthed and gritted his teeth afterwards. Halos mapausod ako ng humakbang pa siya papalapit sa windshield ko. His massive frame is now blocking the window alone and all this dark aura around him makes me want to curl into a fur ball and hide under my seat!

Why is he doing this?!

I almost scream at him ng bahagya niyang kalabugin ang windshield. I almost went out of breath with the thought that he broke the window!

Dios mio, Rahim!!! You will have all my blood in this body to coagulate in an instace! Mamatay ako dahil sa blood clot sa sobrang kaba sa kanya, ung buong katawan ko ay tumitigil sap ag function just by staring at his mad driven face!

"Fuck." He mouthed once again at ng iangat niya ang kamao patungo sa windshield ng sasakyan ko ay agad ko na iyong binuksan. I almost let go of the milktea cup on my hand dahil sa sobrang taranta sa kanya. He looks at his wrist watch and immediately hop inside my car without even asking for my permission!

"I have an hour. Let's go." He said and started the gear of the car and drive out. I almost froze on my seat because of his space-consuming body to inhibit inside of my wheels. Ni hindi niya ako nilingon at diretsong nakatingin lamang sa mga kotse.

He drives my car as if he is the one who owns it. He lazily maneuvers the car towards to the unknown habang ako ay diretso lamang ang tingin sa kanya, with tears-dried eyes and somewhat horror in me. Nakakatakot siya kapag galit, I think in one snap he could easily break me.

Agad akong sumiksik sa gilid ng kinauupuan ko ng mapansin na sobrang lapit namin. I place my bag between us so I could have more boundaries with my space. Ni hindi ko na napansin na sobra niyang napasok ang espasyo ko. I internally fill so awkward and anxious by how my tiny car is so little for the both of us, especially for him.

"Talk." He muttered and keep watching his wrist watch. Nang lumingon ako sa labas ng sasakyan, I knew we are heading down Katipunan dahil sa binabaybay niyang daan.

I look at my clock on the dashboard at nakitang halos isang oras na nga lang bago ang klase niya.

I gulp on my own amylase as a look down on the milktea that I keep holding too magmula pa kanina. Dahan-dahan ko iyong ibinaba sa cup holder sa gilid ko upang hindi na ako matakot nab aka maitapon koi yon sa sobrang kaba.

I can feel my heart trying hard to escape my chest. With all of this sudden rush of adrenaline in me. Pakiramdam ko mamatay ako sa palpitation kahit hindi naman dahil sa kape!

What should I say?

Ano ba ng dapat kong sabihin? I couldn't find myself to explain to him because I somewhat think that he doesn't deserve it. I feel so bad because I think he's just plain rude today, no hidden reason just his whole fucked up attitude.

"Monique." His voice has a hint of terror in it and I just found myself into a deep vault with all the memories that I want to buried deep inside of me.

His actions remind me of how violent their kind can be.

He's rude and very stubborn and have an unpleasant tongue but does that mean that he can be violent too? That he is capable of those things to?

I hope not.

"Monique, please..." unti-unti kong iniangat ang tingin ko sa kanya dahil sa biglaang paglamyos ng boses niya ng tawagin niya ako.

"Please... talk to me." I can feel my eyes tearing up again. I heard his panicky voice stutters before he can even say a word.

Agad akong umiling sa kanya.

"Why are you l-like this?" I asked, voice is cracking with an undeniable pain in it. Bahagyang nakita kong dinilaan niya ang pang-ibabang labi at ang pagkurap-kurap ng mga mata niya sa likod ng salamin niya.