How Do We Live?

Chapter 9: Hydrophilic

Inayos ko ang sleeves ng suot ko at tinaas pa ang bahagi ng turtle neck sa banda ng aking leeg. I close my legs firmly at mas lalong yumuko sa aking kinauupuan. I want to shut my mind as the grave thoughts came flooding in my me like the sea water, drowning me without being in it. Hindi ko alam kung saan pa ako sisiksik sa glass wall sa tabi ko habang pilit na ikinakalma ang sarili.

Rahim on the other side doesn't seem to notice me kaya naman inayos ko ang buhok kong nakaladlad sa aking harap at iniharang iyon sa aking mukha. I bite my lower lips till I can feel the metallic taste of it on the tip of my tongue.

Hinawakan ko ang wrist watch ko sa aking kaliwang kamay at inayos iyon ng mabuti. Then I started biting my fingers at ipinikit ang mga mata ko. The blood on my lips and my gritted teeth collision is painful for my soft flesh.

I can still feel his stares at me. I don't know him. But his heated stares on me makes me weak and fragile on the inside. Kanina niya pa ako tinititgnan and now that he's bluntly looking at me ay parang tatakasan ako ng kaluluwa.

His dark aura matched with his dark eyes scare the hell out of me. It reminds me of his stares when he actually brought me to that room... I feel delirious yet it's making me insane at the moment along with the anxiety attack that lurks like a venom at the back of my spine.

It's consuming me... and it will... for days? For weeks? I don't know.

Muli kong sinilip iyong lalaki. He's sitting at the left corner of the room and his eyes are still on me. Ramdam iyon ng bawat kanto ng katawan ko as my thighs beguns to tremble in its position because of nervousness.

I don't know if I'm in hysteria or I'm just paranoid but the scare is making me bliss out of the things that I'm supposed to do now.

What if he has something to do to me?

He's a paid guy of the Ignacio to silence me?

Or his intentions are like him? Torture me? Kill me?

Do it again?

No! No! No!

"Monique!" I almost feel on my chair ng marinig ko ang madiin na sigaw na iyon. I paled when I see Rahim's confused face in front of me. Hindi ko napigilan na silipin iyong kinalalgyan ng lalaki and he's not there anymore. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa aking dibdib when he's now out of my sight. I start to relax but the deep rooted fear on me doesn't even left my whole system like it's a part of what I'm.

This undying trauma will be the death of me. No matter how many years has it been it still feels like a fresh wound in my skin, burning and rotting the rest of me.

"You're fucking bleeding." Natulala ako kay Rahim ng sabihin niya iyon. I couldn't even understand him as he looks at me with aggression in his face. I'm not on my proper state of mind now as he looks at me like a puzzled to be solve.

I look at our surrounding and the people is still busy with their own reality. I gaze back with Rahim and his eyebrows are furrow while his deadly stares are directed to me.

"Fuck." He said and grab some wipes from his leather bag and move one seat closer to me. Marahan niyang ini-anggulo ang mukha ko at inilapit ang mukha niya.

I want to gasp at him pero ang hawak niya sa aking baba ay pinipigilan na ang buong katawan ko sa paggalaw. I heard him click his tongue bago dampian ng wipes ang labi ko.

"Why the fucking hell are you biting your damn lips this hard?" My lips stayed apart habang sinasabi niya sa akin iyon. I look at him and his night sky eyes are all focus on my lips. The metallic taste is still there but it's less now than a few moments ago. Ni hindi ko na namamalayan na sobrang nagdugo na iyong labi ko sa sobrang takot.

"You look so fucking lost. What the hell is wrong with you?"

I look at him and wanted to roll my eyes dahil kanina ko pa naririnig iyong word na 'fuck' sa kanya.

These days with him reviewing and asking for help for those apps, na kung saan pro na siya, ay hindi man lang nasundan ang good deeds niya at mas lalo lamang siyang nalulon sa impyerno sa aking utak dahil sa kasungitan niya at sa pagsasalita niya.

"Do you fucking want me to kiss you?"

"Huh?!"

"The next time you have a bleeding lips is when I kiss the hell out of you. Hmm... is this what you mean by the sudden bleeding?"

"Huh?! Ano! You're mahangin 'din ano! Hindi lahat ng babae luluhod sayo. Bwisit 'to!"