My Words

"I felt back."

I ran as far as I could, it couldn't happen. I wasn't in my body... I left Vincent in that house, on his bed...

I didn't know what was going on inside me, it was just a mix of feelings.

I drove as far as I could and I stopped near the ocean, on a high place. There I could feel the wind through my hair... I could feel the nature and myself. At that moment, I was the centre of the world, I felt like nothing could stop me... And then I started to cry, because I could not handle that situation. It was too much for me.

So I looked down to the ocean... And for seconds I thought that the best thing to do was for me to jump. It was a seriously thought. I closed my eyes, I turned back, I felt back.

I turned off but something stopped me. I felt like some hand had grabbed me and pulled me out of there. I realise that i wasn't falling and I opened my eyes. I saw him!

"Hey lady..." Vincent said slowly.

I fell on his chest and he hugged me so tightly. It felt good, for moments.

"You should've let me go!" I slpaped him and I kissed him right after.

He looked at me and he gave me a smile, an honest smile. It wasn't necessary to say a word, I could understand that he was glad that I were there with him. I didn't feel like that since Michael was taking care of me the previous year... It was a long and complicated story.

He caught me in his arms and he took me to the back seat of his car. I suddenly looked at the middle mirror and I saw how pale I was... Gosh. I leaned agaisnt the car door and felt asleep.

When I woke up, I was at my home, laid on my bed and Catherine was there.

"Al? Are you feeling ok?" She asked.

"Yeah I think..." I said with lower voice. "Where's Vincent?"

"He had to finish something... He will be here in a minute..."

"Where did he go?!" I said nervous.

"Nowhere! Now lay back again and sleep!" She said with some violence.

I got up and I grabbed the phone that was in Catherine's hand and I phoned Vincent. The call went to voicemail. Shit.

"Where the hell did he go... I need him." I said crying.

I was weak, so I laid again on my bed and I fell asleep again.

Things were crazy at the moment. Were completly crazy and confused. I woke up and Vincent was sleeping right beside me.

"Hey boy..." I said silently "I'm awake now... We need to talk".

"Hey lady..." And he kissed my forehead "Tell me!"

"We do need to talk about this" I said.

"This what?" He said curious.

"This relationship..."

"Did you talk with Michael?" He asked. I looked at him and I nodded.

"He looked upset and I told him that it was over and that I don't want to be with him anymore..."

Then Vincent smacked his lips on mine and e pulled me against his body. But i stopped him.

"Why did you stop?"

"Because now I need to organize my life before having any relation..."

"So you're saying that we're not together?" And I nodded again. "So this was all a mistake again? Me? All this? You must be crazy to think that you can do this and then leave me... I need you Al... I need you and you need me. I love you and you love me back. We need to stay close to each other, we need to stay together..."

"And you need to understand that I'm frustrated and tired of all this situations! I need a stable thing and I can't find it... I know that you can give me that, but I feel like I'm not ready to take it." I said as I laid my head on my pillow. He putted his arm around my belly and he hold it tight, like he was hugging me. It felt good at that moment.