I Sing For You

Chapter 9

It was a special day....a very very special day in fact.  It was my shared birthday with Ray.  We had finished up our project lat week, and had gotten a fairly decent grade.  Actually, it was my first A all year.  

Nothing different happened between us.  We just kept on doing what we were doing, and I liked it.  I was happy.  The only thing was that my mom was getting worse.  She just sat there in her room all day and stared at the walls.  She wouldn't even eat all of the food I gave her.  Ray wanted me to get help, but I refused, thinking that I could take care of myself.

But today, I was distracted.  It was the Saturday night, and I hadn't seen him all day.  He was preparing something special, though we promised each other no gifts.  

I was getting a long shower, but finally turned the water off.  I wrapped myself up in a towl, and walked into my room, looking through my small selection in my closet.  I had a feeling that I should dress nicely, and make myself somewhat presentable.  

I settled on my thick strapped, knee length, plain red dress. It was the only dress that I owned.  For some reason, I always liked the color red on myself.  I blow dried my hair, so my dark curly hair fell perfectly by my shoulders.  I brushed my teeth for the third time today, and walked into my mom's room.  "Bye mom," I said, even though she was asleep, and stroked her hair softly.

I didn't let that depressing feeling take over me, and I walked to Ray's house.  I banged on the door, eager.

"It's open," I heard Jenna yell. When I went in, they all screamed "Happy Birthday!"  I beamed at the three of them.  I loved them all so much, but Ray was nowhere to be found.   They snapped pictures of me.

"Jordan you look so pretty!" Jenna beamed at me.  I went up to her and hugged her.  Even though she was only twelve, she was almost as tall as me.  I was so short.

"Thanks!" I said. Nobody had ever called me pretty before, besides my dad, so I felt all warm inside.

They sat me down on the couch and handed me a present.  "Oh come on!  No gifts!" I said, even though I was eager to open it.

"Think of it as a gift exchange....You have no idea how happy you have made Ray... That's your gift to us," his mom said, with a warm smile.  My heart skipped a beat...I made him happy?  

I grinned and opened the small box, revealing a beautiful, silver bracelet.  "Oh my gosh! It's beautiful!" I exclaimed, quickly fastening it on my wrist.

"We all pitched in to get it for you," they said winking at me.  "And go out back....  someone's waiting for you," they said.  I grinned, and walked out the back door.

I searched around for Ray, and finally my eyes found him in the gazebo in his yard.  I smiled and walked over to him.

"Happy birthday," we both said at the same time, and laughed. 

"Now, what's your surprise?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.  I checked him out.  He looked smoking.  He was wearing a tux and everything.  

"Okay... So, indirectly, you taught me to sing.... Not really, but I've been singing a lot more lately, in honor of you of course.  Stop blushing!  Now, I'm teaching you something I'm just naturally good at.  In case you didn't know, I dance," he said.  I was blushing like crazy.  Then, I laughed out loud. 

"You dance?" I said in disbelief.

"Yeah," he said, and tapped his phone, that started the music.  It was "Say Something,", which was the song I had always refused to listen to because it reminded me of how much I wanted love.

He pulled me closer to him, and rested his hands on my waist.  I put mine on his shoulders.  We were both laughing as we rocked back and forth.  We just stared at each other.  Every time he spun me, I'd try to make it go by more quickly so I could look at him again.  I wasn't sure if he was feeling it to, but I was in the moment.  It was magical almost.

I was enjoying every minute of it.  After a while, I came closer to him, and rested my head on his chest.  He held me tighter as we rocked back and forth.  It was the best feeling I had ever felt.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed.  We both chuckled.  I pulled it out, curious at who it was since the only person who really texted me was Ray.  I was my mom.  My mom had a phone, though she never, ever texted.  She hadn't texted since she went blank.  With shaking hands, I opened the message.

Mom:  I love you sweetie...

I frowned in confusion. She never ever did this.... I knew something was wrong.  I started shaking my head, and freaking out while thinking about the possibilities.

"There is something wrong... I'm sorry I need to go home.... Don't get me wrong, this was the best night of my life, but there is defiantly something wrong," I said, thanking him, and then started walking.  He ran after me, grabbing my arm.

"Wait, Jordan, I'm sure it's nothing.... I still-" he said.  

"No.... Ray, this was great, and amazing, but there is something wrong,"  I said, wishing he'd let go.

"I'm coming with you," he said.  I nodded, and we walked, practically ran to my house.

I unlocked, the door, and stepped in, calling out for my mother with Ray behind me.  I panicked.  I went to the kitchen, bathroom, downstairs, upstairs, everywhere.  I went into my room, and found an envelope.  I tore it open, hoping to find answers, but I found a thousand dollars, in cash.  

I went into her room, searching for her, but found a piece of paper.

Little did I know that this piece of paper would tear me apart.  I sobbed as I read:

My dearest daughter,

You are young, strong, beautiful, talented, and undeserving of a terrible mother like me.  I want you to know that I am sorry for putting you through all of this.  I am nothing but a burden.  You deserve much better.

Seeing you so happy with this new boy, made me remember the love that I once shared with your father.  Now I am confident that you have found someone to love.  I realized how alone you've been when you sang.  You are very talented, even more than your father.

I'm so, so, so sorry....  I know I must mean little to you now for what I've done.  I've seen that you have a kind heart, which is why you keep taking care of me.

Don't feel alone.  You are never alone.  I know you have felt like you are because of all of these years.  I hate myself for it.  I am lifting myself off of you.  Don't be sad, I can be free now, with your father.  We will always be watching over you from above.

Don't try to find me.  It's not worth it.  Don't cry.  Keep singing, and playing those instruments.  Become something great.

I love you so much.... even though I haven't shown it...

From, 

a terrible mother.

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I don't really know what to say....  Please don't hate me for leaving you with a cliffhanger though.  Don't jump to conclusions either.  Things are going to be spicing up in the next couple chapters though.  Since I am going back to school I might not be updating in a while, so beware.  But I will on the weekends for sure! Don't give up on me :) 

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-Cheesy Writer