Truly-Madly-Deeply Assistant

Baby talk pt. 2

"What do you think happened in that short time what made her change her mind so quickly?" Shannon asked carefully.

I looked up to him with a sigh as I leaned back, crossing my arms.

"I don't know," I shook my head. "It's like she panicked. What else could I do, I accepted her sudden wish. It's her body, her life, her choice and I'm not saying it's a bad choice, I just don't get it. It happened Saturday. Sunday she was so silent, she was with the twins and Anna most of the time. Today she still seemed just... a little off. She didn't talk to me much..." I shrugged. "I'm..." fuck... even thinking about it made me want to cry. "I'm afraid that she is re-thinking our relationship... I don't know what I'd do with my life if she left me," I whispered.

"You know Brian asked me if I know anything about Avery maybe being pregnant," Shannon stated and I looked up to him stunned as he continued. "He said he heard you two guys talking when she said she stayed to look after the twins to practice. He didn't say anything to anyone else, and when they were packing to go home he said Anna was suspecting the same because Avery low-key seemed curious about her experience with pregnancy, with handling the twins. Asking about newborns just in general. And that was on Sunday so whatever she said to you she still is curious for some reason. Do you think... she... might already be pregnant?"

I shook my head before I could process the whole thing.

"No. No, she is on the pill and her surgery was just less than two months ago; her body is still adjusting. It would be highly unlikely."

"Well then... you're right. She might just panicked. She just needs some time to think it through, talk it out..."

"See, that's the thing," I started. "She doesn't have any friends and I hate it. We all need an outsider to see things clearly. She doesn't have a single soul she would open up to about these things. She has conversations with her own self in her own head and I feel like sometimes it just... confuses her even more. I wish she could have someone," I sighed.

When our food arrived I didn't feel like eating a bit but I forced myself to start.

"Look, she might not want to wait out that few years, and I kinda see why."

"What do you mean?" I asked dumbfounded not wanting to hear that he thinks she wants to have a baby like tomorrow.

"Well, you two had been circling around each other way too long and yes man, you might look like a twenty something but you are forty-seven, she is a thirty year old woman and she loves you, you love her, you both seem to be pretty sure about each other so what the fuck are you two waiting for? To get to know each other? To first travel the world together? To, I don't know, live together?"

"But... I can't have a kid now, Shannon that's like... I have so much going on; I still have a movie promotion tour, I signed for another movie, I can't just... Jesus, what do YOU know about kids anyway? You expect me to just throw everything away and..."

"I don't expect you to do anything. Avery might does," he shrugged. "She would just never say it because she always put you first. You spent twenty years in the spotlight, brother. You don't have to stop, but now someone came along who can lead you on a different path. You just have to learn to balance the two. I say it's time for you to start a something which gives more to your heart than to your bank account or your professional growth. I would give anything away in a heartbeat if I would be lucky enough to find someone like Avery in this life. Anything."

I looked him in the eyes and the sadness I recognized was killing me.

I knew he always dreamed of a girl by his side and damn he was searching for her for so long, until he totally gave up. He knows a lot more than I am about relationships; he has been through big loves and had his fair share of heartbreaks because he was such a hopeless romantic, such a believer. One of the reasons I never looked for relationships was because I saw my brother heartbroken way too many times.