First Time Lover (HW) (NSFW)(RB)

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Heatwave x Human!Reader
⚠️MATURE CONTENT⚠️

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"Cus we're scared to be lonely"
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I sighed as I sat on the edge of my bed, wrapped up in my thoughts. I checked my phone again for the date, noticing that tomorrow was mine and Heatwave's 5 month anniversary. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I tried to figure out what to do. Everytime I allowed myself to get attached, allowed myself to divulge my very being into a relationship, it didn't end well...and I didn't want that to happen with Heatwave.

The logical part of my brain tried to tell me that I was being paranoid but the emotional part of my brain had more control and told me to tread carefully. I never went too extra on our anniversaries, not wanting to embarrass my lover or make him uncomfortable. I also didn't want to seem too clingy. Normally, he'd take the day off (unless he was absolutely needed in an emergency) and we'd ride around town, go to the beach or whatever and that would be enough for me. Sometimes I'd write him a little love letter and a couple times he even wrote me one, but my nerves were getting the best of me.

I mean, we'd made it to five months...er- well not yet anyway. He could decide to ditch me today and that'd be it.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes, staring at the plush carpet by my bed. I narrowed my eyes, more depressing thoughts entering my mind. Maybe he would be better off without me. I mean we were two different species with completely different customs and stuff, how we'd made it this far was more than surprising. Our personalities were quite different too. While he was a bit brash at times, hiding the fact that he cared, I was more in touch with my emotions and anti-social.

I had barely passed pilot school to join Dani because I was so nervous and had a hard time trying to collaborate with my peers. Dani was a different story, she was my sister, but even around her I felt out of place.

I felt out of place in general.

I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling a couple tears slip from my eyes and onto my thighs. I just didn't want to mess up my relationship with Heatwave. I'd only ever felt this way once before and the person I loved dumped me for no reason and suddenly dropped off the face of the Earth, leaving me in a destroyed mess. It was so bad that I threw up because my emotions were so overwhelming. I didn't want to scare him off. I didn't..want to lose him.

'Stop it.' I hissed mentally. I was stronger than this, I needed to be stronger than this. Everyone leaves me when they see how damaged and weak I really am.

A tap on my window broke me from my thoughts, startling me. I gazed up to see the one and only fire rescue bot I had been thinking about standing there. I quickly wiped my face and got up, trudging over to my window to open it. Before I even fully got my window open, Heatwave had placed a finger under my chin and tilted my head to look at him. His optics flitted around my face and he frowned. "Have you been crying?"

It was a simple question really, but one that sent me into a panic. Not wanting to worry him, I quickly shook my head, "No, I yawned." I lied and his hand moved away from my face. His optics narrowed slightly as he scrutinized me, making me shift nervously.

"Why do you feel the need to lie to me?"

I suddenly found my floor to be very interesting. "I'm fine." I murmured, not noticing the worried look on my lover's faceplates. A digit brushed over my hair and down my cheek and I closed my eyes.

"(Y/n)..." He rumbled, voice sending shivers up my spine. "Look at me."

I sighed and opened my eyes, glancing at him from the corner of my eye as some of my hair fell into my face. A flicker of a smile showed on his face before returning to a slight frown. "Do you not trust me?" He asked and my head immediately snapped up, eyes widening.

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