THE MAFIA'S BEAUTY

Chapter 31

I was so furious I shook as I stormed out of the elevator my chest heaving up and down barely seeing anything with my face flaming as if I had just walked out of a cat fight.

Every inch of my body ached including my eyes which I am sure were bloodshot. I was feeling used and overworked anger making me pulse. It had not been a good week, the whole compound filled with darkness - a dark cloud hanging all around, all the life and laughter there was gone leaving nothing but dread.

Eight hundred and fifty six people dead.

Eight hundred and fifty six people gone just like that.

It seemed simple when behind the desk watching everything from afar but these were people and they had lost their lives, for what? My heart ached my head throbbing my feet ready to give out yet I pushed on not even sure how I was still standing from all the calls to each and every family breaking the news my heart breaking over and over again hearing the screams through the phone, hearing the panic as the sad truth set in- a loss of a son, loss of a nephew, loss of a boyfriend, loss of a husband all too much to bare.

Seven out of ten of the women in the compound widowed, the loss to much for them still hearing their screams, seeing their tears as they broke down the children too young to even know what was happening, to know that they would grow up without a father, that they would grow up without hearing their fathers voices ever again. My heart felt as if it was breaking again but I could not. I could not fall apart because I don't think I would be able to piece myself together if I did so instead I pushed on drowning myself in duties pushing all the emotions away floating through the air alive but not living.

The sound shot through the dark office as I threw the door open with such intensity I thought it would fall off. Storming in the two heads snapped to me in irritation standing next to each other the conversation having come to a halt with me standing just a few feet of them too mad to even talk all that I had planned to say being drowned by all the emotions that promised to suffocate me, that had it seem as if a heart attack was just a few seconds away.

"Are you okay?" It was Rafael of course, the stupid dick that I wanted nothing than to smack over and over again.

He made me so mad!

"I think she is about to explode."  It was Tom taking a step back hitting the desk behind him having nowhere else to go my eyes never leaving Rafael.

I swear if looks could kill he would be on his way to hell by now my head shaking feeling as if my head would just explode. I opened my mouth only to close it no words coming out my heart beating from my throat my hands shaking because of this man. Felt the tears well up, angry fat tears threatening to fall leaving me in panic trying to will them away opening my mouth only to close it again.

I wanted to scream, wanted to scream so loud maybe just maybe then he would understand how I felt at this moment. Maybe just maybe he would stop being such a selfish prick.

"What are you doing?" My voice finally slipped out low and harsh as if I have been screaming all day long, as if I had been crying but of course I had. How could I have not standing there watching as box after another went to the ground people I had seen just a week ago, people I had spoken to just a week ago laying there lifeless having lost everything, having lost their lives some of them as young as twenty-one dying with no one to even know that they had left the earth. It had been so heart breaking finding how some of the man had no one to care for them, they had no one for me to tell of their passing. They had been alone in this whole wide world and now they seized to exist with just a name left behind and nothing else.

"We are working, what do you want?" He shot back his lack of interest as if I was disturbing him making me livid seeing red where I stood shaking like a leaf.

"Tom, go to the kitchen now!"

He did not wait to be told again dashing out closing the door behind him as I took the last steps closing in on him my hands quick to snatch the stupid hoodie off his face staring at him face to face his face emotionless, his eyes impatiently staring at me as if I was just wasting his time with more important things to do.

"What the fuck are you doing?" My voice was as a knife piercing through the air seeing hs face turn darker by the second his eyes narrowing at me knowing that I was playing with fire, knowing that I was in the lion's den but the fuck did I care. This man was a selfish idiotic asshole  and I would give him a piece of my mind.

"What? You can't talk now?" I taunted getting closer and closer seeing his chest rise up and down as if he was about to explode but news flash for him he was not the only one with a short fuse.

"Watch your mouth before you get hurt." He warned his tone low and dangerous and I should have taken the warning, should have stood down.

"I am not going to watch anything. You have lost eight hundred men, they have died fighting for you and the least you could have done was attend the funeral. It was the least you could have done. I called the families, told those in the compound, arranged the whole funeral with the transport of those shipping back to their relatives and the least you could have done was just show the hell up! I even dug the graves with the man for crying out loud. All you had to do was just be there yet instead you haul out here like a coward. Do you even realize that all those people lost their lives? Where is your sense of respect?  Everyone stood out there waiting for their leader, the man they protect, the man they fight for, the man that they are supposed to die for and what did you do huh? What the fuck did you do?"

"I don't need to do fucking anything, I pay them to do their jobs and they know what they get themselves into so I don't have to do shit!"

"Fuck you!" I screamed the clap echoing all over the room leaving my palm burning from the impact wanting to do so much more, wanting to beat some sense out of him yet as quick as I could blink his hand was around my neck my body hitting the wall pain shooting up as he pushed me up the wall until we were eye to eye so angry there was no room for fear as I held his stare with the same venom daring him to even touch me beyond this for I was ready to spring out, my mind was on the crazy and lord I was ready to let my sanity off the loose and explode on him.

"I am not your friend kid, you do not speak to me in that manner for you will be the one in a box next."

"I am not afraid of you, I am not afraid of your stupid threats. I don't care how much you pay those man, don't care how many digits their pay cheque is but whatever it is it will never be enough for you to buy their lives to just dispose them like that when they are of no use to you. They are people and not robots you can just toss around. They are fighting for you, they are fighting your war and if you continue acting like a dick on steroids you will be left here alone with your stupid ego. Now get your hands off me before cut them off."

He stared at me for the longest time the wheels in his brain turning and turning for the longest time seeming to take me in thinking over my words his hand slowly slipping from around my throat feeling the itch knowing a bruise was left with not even my brown skin to hide it away my hands quickly slipping to my neck moving around  my skin out of instinct the burn suddenly evident as he turned walking away from me my eyes lingering on him not knowing what I was thinking or what I was feeling at this point turning away my feet carrying me to the closed door coming to a stop turning around to stare at him finding him picking up papers from his messy desk.

"I will be expecting you at the kitchen in ten minutes." I shot out with him not even acknowledging me everything he did seeming to be an arrow to my heart yet I swallowed my pain turning around walking out of the room with my shoulders weighed down, mind spinning and heart heavy.