RvB S2 E13 Me,Myself,and You

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Caboose's mind
Church and Tex inside Caboose's head, with mental image of Caboose,Tucker,and Sheila.

Smart Caboose: I see, so you're from the outside. That's where the other is from as well.

Church: The other? Wait you mean O'Mally? Have you seen him?

A mental image of Church appears behind Caboose.

Fake Church: Of course he's seen he's seen him you idiot! You think Mister Caboose would miss something like that, you skeezy douche bag fuck!

Church: Alright, hold on a second. Who the hell are you?

Fake Church: My name is Church, butt wiping ass munch!

Church:(whispers to Tex) This guy is kind of an asshole.

Tex:(roles her eyes) Ya, we've met.

Fake Church: And I'm Caboose's best friend, so don't get any ideas about kissing up, you lip licking fuck suck!

Church: Okay, there was a lot of stuff in that sentence that I didn't like.

Tex: Just play along Church. We're gonna need these guys if we're gonna find O'Mally.

Fake Tucker: I'm gonna go look for girls!(He runs off).

Fake Sheila: ~I already found my girl~.

Tex blushes heavy under her helmet from that comment.

Church: Fine,whatever.

Caboose: If you want to find O'Mally, I suggest we talk to the Reds first. He tried to recruit them against me early on.

Church: The Reds? The Reds are in here?

Red base
The real world, Simmons and Donut are next to the sideways Jeep.

Simmons: Are you sure you left the part in there Donut?

Donut: Hmm, think so wait,yes! No, wait, wait wait wait.Mmmmmmm, I think so.

Simmons: (sighs) Alright, let's retrace your steps. You said it was the Tuesday before me,Sarge,and Jack got blown up that you were left in the warthog,right?

Donut: Right I know it was Tuesday because that's the day I wash my underwear. And since I don't like letting my armor touch my bare skin, on account of I chafe real easy, I remember thinking "where can I hang out with no pants on"?

Simmons: Oh! Jesus! I did not need to hear that!

Middle of canyon
Lopez and Jack are walking by the tank with Tucker driving it.

Tucker: Okay well, looks like we're close enough. Now if I could just find the breaks on this thing. Ah, must be this button.

Tank: Do not touch that button.

Tucker: Oh, sorry, hmm, maybe it's this one.

Tank: Do not touch me.

Tucker: You know for a tank your size you're really sensitive.

Jack:(in cuffs still) Hey jackass! Don't piss off the heavily armored killing machine! I like to be living still!

Red base
With Simmons and Donut.

Simmons: I cannot take anymore of this.

Donut: So after I clip my toenail, I was gonna apply the ointment as recommended. But I don't know it just smells really funny. So I decided to taste it, just to make sure, it was safe.

Simmons: Oh god we're's my gun!

Donut: Hey! I didn't finish retrace my step's yet. You don't even know what I did about the boil on my thigh!

Simmons:(stops and looks off into distance) Oh crap!

Lopez,Jack,Tank,and Tucker are approaching, Simmons quickly runs for the Jeep to take cover behind it.

Donut: Hey you came back! So where was I? Oh yeah! I lanced it, Disgusting!(makes creeped out noise).

Simmons: Not now Donut! There's a giant tank out there that's about to steamroll right over us!

Donut: What?! (He hops up and down to see over the Jeep and see's the tank approaching) oh God it's true! I'm totally freaking out! I'm freaking out!(runs and screams around in a circle).

Simmons: Donut keep calm!

Donut:(still running in a circle and screaming) I can't, I'm freaking out to much!

Back to the Blues,Lopez,and Jack and Crystal.

Tucker: Oh my god! I can't believe Caboose is smart enough to drive this thing and I'm not! Tank how the fuck do I slow you down?

Tank: Retard the throttle.

Tucker: What throttle? This throttle?

Tank: Retard the controller.

Tucker: You mean this thing? What're you talking about, I'm so confused!

Jack, Crystal, and Lopez are walking near the tank while Tucker and Tank fight.

Jack:(to Lopez and Crystal in Spanish)>How is it that these guys are our enemy's?

Crystal/Lopez:>No idea/don't know<.

Back with Tucker and Tank.

Tank: The controller,retard!

Tucker: Hey that's kinda insulting(the Tank repeats the word "retard" over and over as they approach Red base) oh come on. Now you're just being mean.

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