I put back down the photo frame on the table. It's one of my favorite photos. Claire, Mike, Sid and I are at the beach posing for Claire's mom.
I look around. Sid's office looks exactly how I decorated it first. He didn't change a thing.
Sitting behind his desk, Sid turns some pages in the report he's reading, ignoring my presence.
While he's busy reading the pages, I take a good look at him.
Luke and Ben are not the only ones who had grown. Mike and Sid have too.
Sid looks far from the boy I used to annoy just for the fun of it. I wonder if the grown man in front of me can even get angry like he used to. His silence hurts more than his words ever did.
Knowing I've been staring at him, Sid puts down his report, looking irritated. "If you've nothing to say, leave," he says.
Slowly, I turn around and leave.
I didn't even cross half of the hallway when I hear footsteps heading towards me. I smirk in spite of myself.
Unlike Luke, Sid hasn't changed at all. I still know how to annoy my brother the best.
"So now you decide to obey me?" he asks.
"Weren't you angry at me because I didn't in the first place?" I say.
"You think it's about you disobeying me? Mike and I have long since accepted the fact that you and Claire are not the obedient type. What you did was worse than disobedience. You betrayed the trust I'd on you."
I look down in guilt. "I was going to come back," I whisper.
"Were you?" he says. "And why am I supposed to believe that?"
I look up at him. "I came back, didn't I?"
"And what's stopping you from leaving tomorrow?"
I knew he didn't trust me and I braced myself to face that. But to hear that from himself, I can't stop feeling hurt.
"I'm sorry," I say.
He shakes his head. "Sorry is not enough."
"For five years, Sid! For five years I waited for you to forgive me. Can't you show me a little mercy?"
The conviction in Sid's eyes wavers, but for only a moment.
He says, "How would you have felt if I left you, our parents, and everyone else and ran away with someone you barely knew? How would you take it if I'd turned my back on everyone and the trust they had on me? How will you feel if I just pack up my bags today and leave without saying a word to you? How will you feel, Rose?"
The answers to his questions are in the teardrops on the floor near my feet.
Sid turns back and leaves me with my guilt.
––––
I see the text from Luke. He wants to talk. I tell my mom I'm going for a walk and leave for the forest.
Once I'm deep in the woods, I call Luke.
"How's everything over there?" he asks.
I think about what to say.
"That bad?" he asks.
"Sid is angry. I'd really hurt him, Luke."
"Maybe you have. But he's still your brother. He'll come around."
I look up at the sky. It's covered by the trees slightly swinging in the wind. I hear the sounds of birds and of leaves rustling against each other. "What about you?"
