Acumen: Riddling Life

30. Free

"Please, not now... I just, I can't I'm sorry," I shake my head and ebb.

"Ellie, quit pushing me away," his voice trembles, his Adam's apple bobs. I rub my forehead and retreat.

I hate myself for doing this to him.

He deserves a better friend. Not an awful person such as me. I don't deserve him.

"El, come on," he speaks firmer.

I recede, avoiding to look at him.

"How long will you stay hung up on it? It's not worth it," he repeats himself for the hundredth time in the past two weeks and nears me.

He still doesn't understand me. It isn't just being rejected from the examination. It's everything. I tried to explain it to him, but I couldn't. He wasn't open to understanding me, to fathom my thoughts.

My heart hammers in my chest, I whisper, "I'm so sorry,"

I'm sick of this life. Sick of every single element that sums up and makes my life.

I take another step back, turn, and walk away from him. Each stride longer than the previous one, putting more distance between us.

I rush to the parking lot while fishing my phone out of my pocket. To text Frank, telling him not to wait for me, I'll be staying extra hours at school.

It doesn't matter I'm lying.

As I step out, I instantly regret it. Should have gone from the front door.

Before I get the chance to return inside the school's building, James spots me and shouts, "Hey loser," making the rest of the gang angle in my direction.

I avert my gaze and hope they won't go further than this for today.

"Did you really need an exam to make it clear you're stupid?" Will asks with an unnecessary amount of seriousness, tapping his cigarette with his index finger before they burst out laughing.

I trudge towards the exit without looking up.

"Hey, where are you running to, freak?" Sophia blocks my way, tossing her hair.

"Maybe she's finally going to do a favor to all of us and kill herself," Amanda muses.

"Yeah, why don't you do that," Rebecca agrees, leans closer to Calvin, as if seeking his acceptance, and when he smirks a smile twists her lips.

I watch Amanda. Her brown eyes move from my tip to toe as if sizing me up, while twirling her dark locks between her fingers. I drop my gaze to the ground.

Will inhales through his cigarette and takes a step towards me, "What are you good for anyway, loser?" his smoke filled breath washes over me.

Tina and Olivia are the firsts to snigger and the rest join them.

I hold back my coughs with effort, tears blur my vision, and I blink rapidly.

"She might make a useful trashcan," Jacob suggests, and they cackle.

My palms start getting clammy.

"If she doesn't fail in that," James adds.

I dare myself to scan my surroundings. James draws a long drag before exhaling, creating a white cloud of smoke.

Adrien is leaning to one of the cars, his arms crossed, sleeves rolled up to his elbows as usual. His eyes burning holes through me, his expression indecipherable, looking somewhat infuriated. I look away at once.

"Let's try," Will announces moving backward and before I can perceive what he's doing, he throws his half-smoked cigarette on me, making everyone laugh and for James to follow suit.