"Umm.. I will earn alot of money and build a big house. Jimin will take the first floor, I will take the second and you can take the third. We will listen to our favourite songs like we do now and I will cook for three of us."
"Sounds nice."
A story...
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“We might be the master of our own thoughts, still we are the slaves of our own emotions.”
-x-
It was almost 8 in the evening when I came out of my room all clad up in a silk royal blue hanbok, which my mother had somehow convinced me to wear.
It was the New Year Eve night and every year the people here organised a fireworks festival at a Buddhist temple located at the remote area of our town.
My parents were already there in order to find a good place to sit and enjoy the view of the beautiful fireworks. I was waiting for Jimin outside my house, since we both had decided earlier to go together.
The festival, which was to be held in the nearby Buddhist temple, was situated on a hill. As we climbed up the stairs, people were excitedly flooding into the place. Finally, the stairs were over and I was awestruck by the view.
The place was decorated with traditional lights and lanterns as people were enjoying the food and children cheered in joy as the won small gifts in the game stalls.
After wondering around for a while, Jimin and I found our parents who were sitting on a carpet spread on a plain grassland.
They had even brought many food items including my favourite; Japchae. It was then I noticed that Yu-Rin’s parents were also there.
We both sat down with them melting into the chatter and laughter as we enjoyed the food and the view. There were still 2 hours left to become midnight for the fireworks to start.
“Wow…. It’s been nearly 10 years since Taehyung joined us for New Year. I think last time was back in 2009. Aishhh… when everyone were enjoying the fireworks we busy cramming everything up.”, said Jimin making me go back to that time.
Had it been really 10 years since everything started going downhill?
Had it been really 10 years since I lost my youth, my friends and most importantly…… Bae Yu-Rin?
I was pulled back to reality when my mom started talking. I turned all my attention towards her to hear what she was saying.
“Now that I think about it, I remember Yu-Rin had come to our house that night… the night before your exams.”
“What?!?!?”, I was taken aback from what I heard.
“Yes, Yu-Rin came to give you something actually but instead she told me to give it to you. I think it was a cassette tape with her initials written on it. Huh.. Taehyung what’s wrong?”
My mom frowned as she saw beads of tears running down my cheeks, my emotions pouring out as salty tears.
Before I knew, I got up and started running away from there. I ignored the fact that everyone shouted out my name.
A tape with Yu-Rin’s initials.
I remembered it. It now started making sense to me. That night my mom had come to my room to give the cassette. Now I understand why Yu-Rin asked me about tapes when we met in Seoul.
What is so important in it? Why is that tape so important? What did you want to tell me, Bae Yu-Rin?
All kinds of thoughts were running wild in my mind as anxiety and frustration kicked in hard. The fact that I lived for the past decade in the mist of delusion and ignorance was making me feel worse.
I panted heavily when I reached my house. Without wasting any more time, I went in my room and rummaged through my boxes. I flipped the last box upside down making all its content scatter on the floor.
That was when my eyes fell on the tape with words B.Y.R written on it. My breath hitched and my heartbeats sped up when I picked it up. I walked towards my table and sat down on the chair.
I entered the tape into the old recorder as my fingers hovered above the play button. All of sudden, I was scared to hear what it had. I felt lifeless.
That’s when I saw the picture of three of us which was stuck on the opposite wall.
Yu-Rin looked so happy. Her smile was as bright as the morning sun. But that smile was lost with time. Was it because of this tape? Was it because of me?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I finally pressed the play button. The next moment was filled with silence. All I heard was the ticking of my clock.
After a few seconds I heard a hooded sound along with a heavy breathing. I opened my eyes when I heard her speaking.
