Pest Control ✔

PC │001

【A L V I N】

It was ironically during the devil's hour when I was sound asleep on my bed. It was the devil's hour when I felt something tickling my cheek. It was the devil's hour when I realized that that something was a fucking roach. Amazingly, it was still the devil's hour when I flung out of bed wearing nothing but my Winnie The Pooh boxers and bolted right out of the comforts of my home. 

Did I consider the fact that I probably looked like a madman racing down the street in just boxers at three in the morning? Yes. But, did I mind? No.

No matter how humiliating being seen wearing cartoon undies was, there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that I would consider staying in my house even for a mere second after having encountered the creation of the underworld.

Long story short, that was how I ended up standing on my neighbour's porch at - you guessed it - the devil's hour.

I had never seen my neighbour before. Of course, I'd gotten a glance when he had first moved in, but that was about it. I was too shy to even offer him some cookies or muffins as a welcoming present, and I knew that if I even bothered to try, I'd end up setting the entire kitchen and myself on fire. 

Nonetheless, having come across a six-legged, miniature version of Satan, was enough to make me bang on his door like a complete maniac. I was pretty sure the ruckus I was causing had probably awoken the entire neighbourhood at this point. But, in all honesty, I couldn't be bothered to give two fucks considering the situation I was in. 

It took barely a minute or two before the door creaked open, and there stood an incredibly groggy looking male who was only a few inches taller than I was. I didn't bother to take the time to gawk over his appearance - but, because I'm generous, I'll still describe him for the rest of you.

He had dark hair, not the kind of dark which turns slightly brown under the light of the sun, it was jet black. So much so that it looked unnatural - it appeared as though he had gotten it dyed. His eyes matched the colour of his hair and appeared unnaturally dark - not that I was complaining, dark eyes are quite attractive if I do say so myself. He had freckles splattered across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose accompanied by a few faded acne scars here and there - and when he pursed his lips in confusion, a faint dimple popped up on his right cheek. 

"Do I know you?" he questioned with the slight tilt of his head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude-"

"I'm your neighbour-," I began, but paused when I saw his eyes glance down to my boxers before he cracked an amused grin and looked back up at me, "Sorry, you were saying?"

"This is no laughing business," I insisted. "There is a roach in my house."

"Call pest control?" he suggested before attempting to shut the door. 

"No!" I argued. "Why would I call pest control at this time?"

"Why would you wake me up at this time?" he sighed, rubbing his eyes with his fists. "Fuck it, do you want to sleep over then?"

"Will that make the roach disappear?" I snorted. "Newsflash, no, it won't."

"But it will make you disappear the next morning, right?" he grinned. "In that case, I'm all up for the idea."

"Stop messing around and please kill it for me, I hate bugs," I confessed, testing my luck at the puppy-eyes look. 

"Stop looking at me like that," he sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. "You look like an idiot. Now, lead the way."

I decided to let the comment slide and began to jog back over to my place with him following close behind. I heard him let out a faint chuckle, and I automatically assumed it was because of my boxers, but I let that slide as well and pushed the door to my place open. I took a quick look behind my shoulder to see if he was following, and when I was sure that he was, I tiptoed over to my bedroom and quickly switched the lights on. In a discreet manner, I proceeded to scan the room with my heart racing - and when I saw the little devil on my sheets, I let out the loudest scream and went running right out of the room as my neighbour gave me a judgemental look. 

I cleared my throat in embarrassment, "Sorry. Should I get you a slipper to kill it?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he simply began to make his way slowly over to the roach. I furrowed my eyebrows at him in confusion and concern before clearing my throat once more to grasp his attention, "Or should I get you the cockroach spray?"

Again, he didn't answer. 

And, when I opened my mouth to offer a blowtorch - crazy, I know, but anything to get rid of a roach - I instantly shut my mouth when this man grabbed the cockroach by its antenna, walked over to the window, pulled it open, and flung the little bitch outside.

Then, he proceeded to turn around - and it all played out in slow motion - and raised his eyebrows at me before making his way over to me. 

"Is that all?" he said, raising his hand - I assumed it was to punch my shoulder or something and let out an ugly scream, but turns out he was only attempting to run his fingers through his hair - needless to say, I received another judgemental look.

"Did you just touch it?" I gagged.

"Yes, I'll be going now," he spoke as he began to make his way past me - but, he suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"Don't worry by the way, I won't tell anyone about your Winnie the Pooh boxers."