Jin smiled as widely as he could, though she could clearly see the tiredness in his eyes.
He was seated on his hospital bed, dressed in awful pale blue gown, colors matching with the walls. It was quite a big room, as she could see, but she knows he would never be comfortable in that room, no matter how spacious or luxurious it could be.
"Annyeong," Jin smiled to her- To the camera.
"Okay. This is shit scary," he tried hard to giggle, to fake a smile for her, but was instead held back by his own fears and weakness, "So I met a girl in my first year at my new high school campus. She's that awkward looking girl and yet had captured my attention... You, right there, I'm talking about you."
His smile was no longer reflecting his usual bright and chirpy. It was a smile full of stories. He was staring right at her with weight in his mind, and the bad thing about it was that she could tell just from his eyes. It was a pair of eyes that had went through the darkest journeys of pain. It was a pair that stabs right into her, the kind of pain she would never understand no matter how hard she tried.
He bit his lower lip and his eyes anxiously glanced around, but he still remained to fight a smile out. "I guess it's probably a year from now when you watch this video, and I'm probably gone... but hey, now you've been to my room, you went through my drawer.... You're kind of a girlfriend now, aren't you."
He wiggled his eyebrows and for that, she almost wanted to laugh at his silliness. If she was her usual ways, she would probably mimick his voice to tease him, but then she remembered- it was a video, he was long gone, and she still had unanswered questions. Could she really be happy about this?
It was a video dedicated to her before he passed on. She finds her vision double again. Why is she crying again?
"Don't cry when I'm not there. It gives other people chances to touch you, you know." He crossed his thin arms together, lips pressed together and pouty. Even through his pain, he wishes to console others. That's a typical him.
She stared silently into his eyes, just like he did so to the camera.
It was as though he could see her and she could see him, but frankly it all felt too strange.
It felt real.
A small smile escaped from her lips, despite not reaching her eyes.
"I'm so sorry I'm not there to comfort you... I wish I could, really so badly." He struggled to stretch one of his thin pale fragile hands, reaching out towards the camera.
He's suffering... Why are there so many tubes connecting to him?
"My point of making this video is that, I want to clear some misunderstandings, and I want to remind you to always smile when you're looking back. This experience is the start to your new life, since we were an error. So don't feel too bad, okay? I won't feel bad either... But nevertheless, I'm still really sorry to do all that to you."
"Okay. I thought you'd be able to find someone better, perhaps quicker if I rejected you right away. I was turning myself into somebody you hate, to rebel, to make you feel intimidated so you'd run away. Instead you didn't, and I was the only one who had tricks in his head."
