𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚'𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐱. carl grimes

THIRTY-NINE: carl grimes is a pervert

her smile doesn't seem to fade, "you just seem to have a lot of people that care about you. like that kid, carl, he wouldn't stop talking about you. not to mention your dad and sister think quite highly of you" despite my overall anger at the moment i can't help but gush on the inside. did they all really say that about me? deanna continues, "now i've heard parts of your story from your family but i want to hear it from you, how long have you been out there?"

i think back to when the bombs first hit, the start of it all, "since the beginning"

she shakes her head softly, "you weren't with the group then though, correct?"

"i was with my mom and sister. my dad was long gone, we thought he was dead. it was just us until" i pause for a moment; she was listening so intently, "until my mom got bit. then it was just claire and i on the road. place to place, nonstop, until carl found us and brought us to the prison"

"and that's where you saw your dad again?"

"yeah" i answer, "and that's how we got grouped in with everyone else"

she nods softly, "how old were you when you were on your own?"

i try to think back. it was so long ago, i had lost track. "to be honest i don't know. i would guess about 12 but i don't even know how old i am right now. i don't know how you expect me to remember back then"

she seems unfazed by my attitude. she actually looked more sad than anything, "that's okay, finn" she reassures me, "what kept you going out there?"

i sigh, i knew the answer to that one. "my sister" i respond, "she was the only thing that kept me going. i couldn't let her die so young. she has so much ahead of her"

"is that what kept you going after you joined the group also?"

i shake my head, "no, after i found the group i had more people to care for. new friends, more family, carl; the thought of keeping them safe kept me going. they also made the things we had to do out there easier. we have each others backs, no matter what"

deanna nods. she glances around the room as if she was taking in what i had said. "so what is carl to you?" she eventually asks.

"excuse me?" i snap. why did she care what carl and i were.

"you heard me" she responds, the softness of her voice fading slightly.

i feel my stomach drop. "he's my" i pause. i can't seem to spit the word out. yeah, carl and i were dating but it just felt so weird to say it. "say it! say it! say it! say it!" i yell at myself in my head until if finally rolls off my tongue, "boyfriend"

"why the hesitation?" deanna questions, an eyebrow perked.

i fumble around for the words. i knew why but my brain just couldn't seem to explain. "it's hard out there" i finally spit, "and it's hard for me to really show..."

deanna nods, she understood. she claps her hands together suddenly, "well that's it finn"

i shake my head, "what? the others took so much longer"

"i know" she answers, "but i needed to evaluate them but you, you're just a child and that's what you're going to be here. no jobs, no killing"

i shoot up from my chair. i could feel the rage boiling inside of me once again. "i'm not just a kid" i mock, "i can handle a fucking job"

deanna slowly rises from her chair. she was so calm it just made me want to punch her even more. "finn please, i know you can handle a job. you're a strong and extremely brave young lady but you're just that, a young lady. i want you to go to school, hang out with friends, be a kid, and then we'll talk jobs"