forever my baby

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫

"mommy look it's daddy! daddy's here!" maddy jumps up and down. "yeah i see. now you can play with him." i smile at her. "let's go on the swings!" her little hand grabs his and tries to pull him. "let me talk to your mom really quick, go to the swings i'll be right there." he points to the park then looks at me.

one thing about me that hasn't changed is that i'm still very awkward. i'm still weird and don't know what to do in certain situations so i just stand there.

"what did you want to talk about?" i say as she runs away. "i just wanted to see how you were doing. you look good." he comes in for a hug... something we haven't done in a while. i hesitate for a sec but i give in and hug him back.

i wonder what parker i'd get today. bitter ex parker, funny usual parker, sad parker, or mature parker.

"thanks. you look good too," i'm not completely lying. "you dyed your hair. it's darker." i notice messing with it. "i did. figured it was time for a change." he tries to fix what i just probably messed up. "and you're growing a beard." i also point out.

"i'll probably shave it soon. i think it makes me look too old." parker smiles. damn it, it's still contagious.

i take a deep breath and remember what my dad said. how do i include him more into my life without making things weird between mason and i?

"do you want to maybe get breakfast or something tomorrow?" i offer and his face lights up. which makes a small part of me happy. "i would love that. thank you bri."

we just smile and stare at each other. we've both grown in so many ways. i have forgiven parker, i wanted our relationship to be better. i've just been so wrapped up in fixing what he broke that i forgot he's human too.

"i have therapy at eight, it's only an hour. we can get food at around nine." i look at maddy for a second. "you go to therapy?" he asks worried. maybe i shouldn't of mentioned that.

"well yeah..." i watch his facial expression change. i mean... what did he think? he kind of traumatized me.

"i know i've said this a million times but here i am standing in front of you. mature me telling you that i'm sorry. i'm really sorry for what i did to you. i never wanted to hurt you. i look back everyday and hate myself for leaving you at that party. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me... and i lost you. madeline is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

i feel myself getting emotional. not right now, not this conversation in public. i try so hard not to cry or show emotion. "you didn't lose me parker, i'm right here. maddy is right here. i forgave you, i'm not angry." it's too late, my eyes are starting to water.

"but i did lose you," i understand what he's talking about. "i wish things could go back to the way they were."

yeah, me too.

no, no we don't! we've grown!

that couldn't happen, i'm with mason now. things are different.

"we cool?" i open my arms to give him a hug. he clings to me. "i hate you, we look stupid crying at a park." i make him laugh. we let go and get ourselves together. "i'd do anything to have you in my arms again." he stands there teary eyed.

annnddd you had to ruin it, please don't do this to me.

i sigh and stare back at him not knowing what to say to that.

"daddy come on!" maddy yells and makes me laugh. "it's been a while, i think you should go over there now." i gesture to the swings. "come with." he puts his arm out and i roll my eyes. he puts his arm around me as we walk to the swings. "push me in the swing!" maddy practically jumps on parker.

i join my dad once again and stand next to the swings. "so i assume my advice went well." he smirks. "you call that advice?" i shake my head trying not to smile. "i love you bear." he kisses me on the cheek. "i love you too dad."

☀︎☀︎☀︎

"madeline stop! you're getting bubbles everywhere!" i grab her loofah and put soap on it. she grabs a handful of bubbles and throws it at parker then laughs when he throws it back. "let me wash your arms!" i try to grab her arm but she splashes me and gets my shirt all wet.

i take a deep breath and look at parker. "is this what it's like to give her a bath?" he laughs playing with her. "yup. she likes to play with her rubber ducky and mermaid then splash me every time." i splash her back and she laughs. god i love her laugh. "let me try." he holds his hand out. i give him the loofah and watch to see what he's going to do.

"can i please wash you up?" parker shows her the small purple loofah. "yes." she says looking at me. i scoff and she laughs again. "looks like she's a daddy's girl." parker winks at me and i splash him. he splashes me back and maddy splashes me which turns into a splash battle between all of us.

"okay stop." we're all soaked and dying of laughter. there's a knock on the door and mason comes in. "dinner is ready." he looks at us. "you hear that? let dad wash you up so you can eat." i tell her. "we'll be right out." i smile at mason. he looks around, nods then leaves.

"the floor is all wet." i state the obvious as i sit criss cross on the wet tile floor and watch them. "i can't believe i missed moments like this. this is everything." parker says washing maddy.

i'm silent.

"i'm sorry for being a bi- i mean... i didn't mean to act so cold towards you. i promise i'll keep you updated and involved." i put my hand on his arm. i pull it away almost immediately.

he pauses and looks at me with that familiar look in his eyes. parker puts his wet, soapy hand on mine and does that thumb thing. i freeze on the inside.

"okay, come on before your hands look like prunes." i get up and grab her towel.

"can i get her dressed?" parker asks. "yeah, of course. her pjs and undies are on the counter and lotion is under the cabinet." i tell him. "thank you." he smiles looking at maddy.

"i'll just be out here then. see you downstairs." i hold the door and watch them interact before i leave. i walk out of maddys room then go to my room where mason is. "hey." i waddle over to him.

"did maddy take a bath or did you?" he smiles and pulls me into him. "i think we both did. i'm going to need a shower of my own though." i wrap my arms around his neck. "funny, so do i. we should save some water if you know what i mean," he makes me smile.

"you're dumb." i say before kissing him. i missed his lips. he kisses me back passionately but it sadly comes to an end when we hear shuffling in the hall. his hands are still around my waist when my door opens. "mommy look at my pajamas!" maddy shows me her princess and the frog disney pajamas. "wow, you look so pretty." i take my hands off of his neck and he lets go of my waist. she turns around and goes downstairs with parker.

"you're mine later." mason whispers in my ear. "can't wait." i kiss him before we leave the room and go downstairs.

i shake my head when i see my dad already downstairs eating. typical. i see who noah takes after. speaking of noah, i need to call him.

"i made chinese, hope you guys like it." mason puts his hand around me as we sit next to each other at the table. across from us is parker and maddy. "it's really good." my dad says. this is going to be fun.