Friends with Benefits [m.c.]

The One Where Michael is Fine

"Michael, sit down and I'll make you guys some food. It'll be 15 minutes, at most. You are not coming in my house and making a huge mess like you all used to do when you were younger," Liz tells me.

I smile evilly. "Tell me in the Mum Voice, and I'll listen."

She sighs. "Michael, that's ridiculo--"

"I guess I'll just get this bag of Doritos everywhere, then," I interject.

"Michael, sit down, now," she says sternly. 

I do as she says, and Luke sits beside me like the good boy that he is.

"So," Liz says to us as she begins to cook. "How's life going, boys? Anything new for me to hear?"

"Nope," Luke replies. "Well, I mean, Calum is on a date tonight."

Liz turns around sharply. "Did you just say Calum has a date tonight?"

"Yeah," I say quickly. "Who would've thought, right?"

I shoot a look at Luke for bringing it up, and he shrugs.

"So how about this weather?" I continue.

"Oh, no you don't," Liz says. "Don't avoid the elephant in the room, Michael Clifford."

I look around. "I don't see an elephant here."

She slaps the back of my head. "I mean the fact that you're jealous that Calum is out tonight and you're not."

"I'm not jealous," I mumble as she goes back to making food.

A few minutes later, Liz brings over a platter of sandwiches with some mac and cheese, along with some pudding. I dig into a sandwich eagerly, hoping that the subject of Calum's date will be dropped.

"So, Luke," Liz says. "When is this date of Calum's?"

Luke glances at the clock. "About four hours from now."

"What?" she asks. "Where's he taking her? It better not be a club, or I'll call Joy right now and have her drag him home by his dick!"

"Mum!" Luke yells, his face turning pink.

She narrows her eyes at her son. "Luke Robert Hemmings, don't say a word. You and I both know I would do it to you."

I bite my lip to keep from laughing at Liz. She's so protective over all of us, and I love it when she embarrasses Luke.

"Anyway," she continues as she takes a bite of her sandwich. "Where's he going with this girl?"

"The beach," I mumble. "They're going for a 'late-night swim,' according to him."

"Oh," Liz says with a nod and a look at me that I can't quite place. "Oh, Mikey."

She comes over to me and pulls me into a hug. I try to push her off with a giggle and a light shove, but she grips me tighter and kisses my temple before letting me go.

"What the hell was that for?" I ask as I wipe my head where she kissed me.

"Hey!" Luke and Liz yell at the same time. "No swearing, young man!"

Luke's eyes widen as he looks at his mum in horror. "Oh no," he says. "I am Liz Hemmings."

I laugh loudly as they continue to stare at each other. Eventually, Luke goes outside to relieve himself of embarrassment.

"Michael," Liz says to me. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

I raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean? Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."