How Do We Live?

Chapter 10: Hydrophobic

"You look happy."

"Ma. I'm!" Balik ko sa kanya. I can see a small smile on her.

"You have a crush on Gregory, anak?"

Parang umakyat lahat ng dugo ko sa mukha dahil sa sinabi niya. I can hear her small laughter. Natataranta kong inilagay ang plato sa gilid ng sink matapos punasan.

"Ma! Hindi 'no! Tinutulungan lang niya ako!"

"Saan naman, anak?"

"Sa ipad ko! Tsaka nakaka-pressure mag-aral kaya lagi akong nasama sa kanya."

"Okay, anak."

"Mama!"

She now bluntly laughs at my face because of my defense. Iniiling ng bahagya ang ulo bago tuluyang tignan ako ng seryoso.

"Just be careful, okay?" Paalala niya. At ang masamang imahe ng nakaraan ang biglang bumalatay sa likod ng aking utak. I sigh heavily before her.

"Of course, ma. Always."

"Tsaka akala ko talaga bakla si Gregory dati! He only allows male friends to share table with him. Ngayon lamang iyon pumayag na may babaeng ka-share sa table."

Halos manlaki ang mata ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Not once in any moment that I'm with Rahim that I ever thought he's gay! Jesus! My mother!

"Mama!"

Saway ko sa kanya as she continue her theories about Rahim being gay! I couldn't believe she have this thinking about that guy!

I mean, speaking as a woman, Rahim is smoking hot. Those burned tan skin, and a very intellectual looks. Masculine features plus all those mysterious aspect in him. Siguro minus pogi points lang ang pagsusungit niya at laging pagsasabi ng 'fuck, fuck'

After that very unpleasant conversation with my mother about Rahim's sexuality ay nahiga na agad ako sa kama ko after putting on my sleeping pjs.

Kinuha ko ang ipad ko at tinignan ang mga emails ko ng mapansin na nakaregister na sa mail ko ang Apple ID ni Rahim.

I notice some distinct notifications. It's from an American blog site. I feel like I'm invading his privacy because of what I'm doing. Some of the emails are notifications of comments and reactions from different netizens.

Hindi ko na napigilang pindutin pa ang link na naka-attached doon sa email and finally went to a page of his blog, I think.

The dead cannot cry for justice. It is a duty of the living to do so them. - Luis McMaster Bujold

When I was a kid, my mother would always tell me to become kind of others. It is her moral principle in life, so I tried hard to do so. And I think it is easy. To pretend something you are not.

To act kind even if your mind revolts on the action of kindness. To have a cruel thinking upon the purity of your doings.

But when I realized what had happened, I learned that it is easy to be kind, and being just is harder.

Because no matter how kind our heart and mind can be, when something is wrong, our empathy wouldn't change the fact that they did wrong.