Love Heals The Broken Heart(Namjoon Fanfic)

I'm Not Him

*knock knock knock* "Come in" Namjoon answers.

Jin opens the door for me. "Have a good session, Y/N" He nods and closes the door.

I enter the office and sit down.

"So it's great to be seeing you...again" He chuckles as he clears out some of the papers off his work desk.

"It's good seeing you too."

"So how has it been for you?"

"Hmm I've been having having trouble sleeping for a while"

"There are some inconsistent sleep patterns, I see."

I shrug "Yeah. I can say the same about my fashion" I chuckle

He laughs. He folds his hands together and rest them on the desk "What is it about your fashion that's inconsistent?"

"Sometimes I dress like a boy and sometimes I dress a bit ladylike." I'm pretty much gender fluid"

"Hmm there's nothing wrong with dressing a certain way. It's your body and choice"

"I guess you're right about that...this morning I had a very long and detailed flashback."

Namjoon crosses his leg underneath the table and takes off his glasses "Care to tell me more about this flashback?"

Sat back into my seat to make myself a bit more comfortable "I was just in the bathroom cleaning myself up and all of a sudden it hit me. I was in a house and I was running away from someone. Had no idea who was running after me but I just refused to look back. I was hit against the head and there I was face to face with that demon that's been haunting me. He was saying all kinds of evil pastry things to me. Threatening me..."

"What kinds of things, Y/N?" He says gently

"Things like 'I'll never amount to anything. That I was just like my weak mother. That no one will save me. Not even him'"

He leans forward and listens intensively "Who is him ?"

I shake my head "I don't know. I was screaming and crying for the demon to let me go an that I won't disrespect him ever again. I tried to poison him....He told me to clean myself up and to hurry up and fix his meal correctly or else he'd hurt me again. In that flashback I was looking for another way to escape so I used a knife to stab him and I ran out of the house. Then I bumped into someone outside of the house but I couldn't make out who it was. All I couldn't remember was that person saying  "I came as soon as I got your text. Are you okay? Are you hurt? I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you sooner. Please talk to me....and that's when it ended."

I was so busy telling my story that I barely noticed Namjoon jotting down notes. There are times when I feel like no one is listening to me. But having a psychologist helps me remember that people are listening even they don't seem to be. Perhaps I just overthink way too often.

He finish writing his notes and sits back in his chair, still attentive. "So this demon was hurting you mentally and physically. But what you experienced was not really a flashback. It was more of a memory. Flashbacks makes you feel uncertain of whether as event actually happened or not. Did this memory seem real to you?"

"Yes it did. It felt so real. Why is that?"

"This is because...it probably did happen"

That sentence struck me like a bolt of lightening.

"Y/N you mentioned that your father would hit your mother, right?"

"Yes"

"The demon was doing all the things it was doing to your mother. It seems that that demon whose been haunting you and bringing back memories could most likely be someone who you knew very well. Someone who knew you"

Agitated and confused I ask "What do you mean?" Then it hit me and the face of the demon is revealed in my head. "M-my dad! It was my dad! What the fuck, it was my dad!" I nearly screamed and tears stream down my face.

"Y/N it's okay. You're in shock right now and I need for you to take a couple of deep breathes"

"Now I remember! He was the one that hurt me! It was him all this time!" I yelled. My legs start bouncing up and down violently.

Namjoon gets out of his chair and comes to my aid. He crouches down and holds my hand. "Y/N listen to my voice. It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong"

My hands shook violently under his palms and I try to free them but he kept them there. A memory of my brother leaving me pop up as well "My brother left me alone! Why didn't I fight back!? Why wasn't I strong enough!?"

"Y/N you were strong! You still are. You fought back and was able to get help."

"No I'm not!"I scream out. I'm going into hysterics and managed to rip my hands out of his grasps.

This was a nightmare come true. That my own father would do this to how own daughter. I felt disgusted. I wanted to desperately jump out the window. With all my strength I push Namjoon off of me but I underestimated his strength and he holds me in place.

"Y/N listen to me. Listen to my voice. He can no longer hurt you. You're save. Just breathe, okay?"

I'm still shaking uncontrollably with my eyes glued shut but the sound of his soothing voice was slowly giving me the much calming affect I needed. But it wasn't Namjoon's voice that I heard. No, not his. There another deep soft voice that I was starting to remember. Then appeared a man with soft bouncy black hair, crescent shaped eyes and sharp nose and jawline. I open my eyes and see that man who was my first love.

"Y/N are you with me?" Namjoon's voice echos through my ears. "Y/N are you okay?"

"You came to save me?" My voice still shaking and a little out of breath.

I was lost in the voice and image of my childhood sweetheart.

"Yes. I'm here to help you." Namjoon says in the most softest voice loosing his grip from my body. "Open your eyes"

I slowly open my eyes and there he was; JB. I gave in to his voice and lean in for a kiss. My lips landed on those soft lips. Lips that I thought were JB's but were actually Namjoon's.

Namjoon was being cautious by the way he was handling me. I feel him pull away for a moment but closes the gap between us and melts into the kiss....