Miss Americana // The Beatles

Chapter 16

"Who's the messenger?"

Stu exhaled his smoke up into the air, "Allan."

"Oh," I said, sipping my coffee.

Stu placed his hand on mine, "I just figured that during our transition to the new club would be the right time to move in with Astrid. Don't be upset with me."

I pulled my hand away from his, "I'm not upset."

"You are," he teased.

"It's just that you're one of the best friends I've ever had," I explained, "You being around all the time makes me feel safe because I know that you can talk to John when he gets angry and unreasonable in a way that I can't talk to him. I have a feeling I won't see you as much."

Stu sighed, "I'll still see you all the time, and I would never stop protecting you from John when he gets in his moods."

I laughed with him and went quiet again.

Stu put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the table, "I've got to quit smoking."

When I looked at the ground and didn't reply, Stu spoke again, "Sasha, is there something you're not telling me?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I let the tears begin to roll down my cheeks, "I'm scared Stuart."

Stu rushed out of his chair and pulled it beside me, so he could bring me into his arms, "Scared of what?"

"This weekend was absolutely perfect. I was reminded why I fell in love with John in the first place, but I don't want the way we were this weekend to change."

"You think it will go back to the way it was or get worse?" Stu asked.

"Yes, and well...John proposed to me in Paris," I sniffled.

Stu pulled away from me, "Wait, you two are engaged? Congrats."

He dropped his smile when he noticed how sad I still looked, "I want to marry him, Stu. With all of my heart, I want to marry him, and we're planning on getting married when we get back to Liverpool. What if things change, though? What will I do?"

"You'll move on," he said flatly, "but stop worrying because that will never happen. You and John always work things out. At the end of the day you still love each other the same."

"Thank you Stu," I hugged him, "I will never meet anyone like you ever again. You're the best friend a girl could ask for."

June 22, 1960

We had been in Hamburg almost six months now. Last month, Stuart's piece of gossip came true when we were moved to the nicer club, the Kaiserkeller. He also moved into to Astrid's house, and they were as in love as John and I were. John had had a few drunken outbursts, but for the most part, I was relieved that this new stage in our relationship of being fiancés was going very well. Stu was right about everything, including the fact that just because he lived with Astrid now, we still saw each other as often. John and I would always double-date with Stu and Astrid on nights out.

I was sitting next to John on the bus, looking out at the sunny, summertime Hamburg and resting my head on his shoulder. Stu and Astrid were sat on the seat in front us cuddling and kissing. Astrid's family has a beach house on the outskirts of Hamburg, and she invited us to stay there with her and Stu for his twentieth birthday tomorrow. It was the second of the rare times we had a couple nights off, the first being our trip to Paris. I was excited to have this beach weekend with just the four of us.

The bus stopped at the end of the street and Astrid led us to the beach house. It was big and nicely decorated inside, and out the back door was the sandy beach and the blue ocean connected to it. We all couldn't wait to get out there, so that was the first thing that we did. Astrid and I had so much fun sunbathing and snapping photos of John and Stuart playing in the sand and the water. I knew this weekend was going to be one of the best.