Heartbeat [UNEDITED]

17: Star

Arthit's POV

We are walking towards nowhere from my favorite drink stall. I looked at my wrist watch.

6:30 pm

 I wanted Kong to know what I've realized from the past few weeks of missing him.

 I thought that I could never see him again after that. So I am just very thankful that I've met him now. Now that I least expect I will. But honestly, I do not know how to start. I wanna let him know but I don't know how to express.

After a few minutes of walking, I knew that we're coming near the apartment and I haven't said anything yet. I panicked.

I cannot let this opportunity to confess go. I need to let him know now.. or never.

I know I shouldn't hope that he still feels the same way but somehow, I do. I'm not sure about what he feels by now. But I want to just at least let him know. I want to admit it as well as my mistakes. I want to apologize and whatever his answer will be, there's nothing I can do with that but to accept.

But I still do not know how to say it.. What should I do?

I kept on looking back time after time just to make sure that he's still walking behind me. 

Until I stop on a spot where the both of us  can be able to see the stars that shining at the night sky. He stopped by my side and looked at the stars as I do. 

"Stars are nice, right?" I started.

"They are beautiful" He replied. I nodded in agreement with what he said.

"P'Arthit, did you know?" He paused.

"Night is my favorite time of the day" I looked at him and saw a little smile drawn on his lips.

"Stars are always reminding me that the darkness does not always bring bad events. It made me realize that even though it's not clear, it does not mean that you will crawl because you cannot see anything. It taught me that happiness don't really depends on someone or something around you. That being happy depends on how you choose to deal with your life. And stars chose to shine despite the darkness " He explained.

"One more thing, I feel like stars were the only ones who stayed during the darkest nights of my life. In times that I didn't knew I can shine just like they do.." he continued

"I'm sorry for destroying the memory of the night and stars for you." I know I did, even if he don't say it.

"It's alright, P', I understand.. but, Do you know when and how did I found out I could shine just like a star in the sky?" He asked meeting my eyes. I just looked at him waiting for the answer.

"That's when I knew you." He paused. 

"I just wanted to shine that time.. because I want to be the one to light you up during the darkest night of your life. I just wanted to be your star, but P'Arthit did you even know what you did?" He paused then looked into my eyes.

"You made me the brightest" His eyes are becoming teary now. And I couldn't help but to get my eyes teary too.

"You made me almost as bright as the sun" He said with a smile but tears dripped down his cheeks. I didn't know how to respond, so I just stared at him without knowing that tears are also starting to drip down on my face. 

How can I let a person like him disappear from my life before knowing that? How dumb can I be to push someone like him away from me? When all he ever did is to make me feel that I am not alone. All he ever did was to make me see things clearly even when I am in the middle of the darkness.

All he ever did was to make me as soft as the clouds when I thought life had already made me as hard as rocks.

I saw him wipe his tears away and continue looking at the stars above. 

"But nevermind, P'. I understand" He said still tearful.

"Kong-" I was just about to say what I needed to say when he cut me off.

"I.. I think, I gotta go, P'Arthit. Take care." He said forcing a smile before he turned and walked away from me. 

"Kong!" I uttered his name to stop him. And thankfully, He listened and turned to me once again.

"Y-you.. succeed." I said and sighed right after before I ran towards him.

"What?" He asked as soon as I was already standing in front of him.

"I just said that.. You succeed being my star.."

"What do you me-" I didn't know how do I supposed to answer his next question so I decided to shut him up, and give him all the answer at the same time.

I closed my eyes before I pressed my lips to his.

I felt nervous at first because he wasn't moving at all until I felt his smile in the middle of the kiss as well as the tears that were slowly dripping down his face.

I quickly pulled myself and looked around to check if someone saw what I did.

It's not like I regret it.. I'm just.. shy..

I put my eyes on him again just to see his widest smile I haven't seen in a while. I couldn't help but to smile back at him.

I wouldn't lie, I missed him smiling like this. I didn't noticed before but now I know that the one that's always making my days complete was his smiles. Smiles that I once said were annoying.

We were just staring at each other with the widest smiles we can ever have when he suddenly pulled me for an embrace. 

He quickly put his arms around me and held me tight yet gentle. 

"Kongpob!" I was still hesitant at first but I also immediately decided to hug him back.

"P'Arthit.." He whispered at my ear.

"Am I just dreaming?" He asked with his hug getting even tighter.

"No.." I answer.

"Not except you don't really want it for real?" I asked rudely but he just laughed at it.

"I love you, P'Arthit" He's voice on my ears plus what he just said sent chills on different parts of my whole body and made my face felt hot.

I'm just thankful, he's not looking at my face while hugging and see me like this.

"Eww" I said and bit my lip to hide my shame.

I love you too, Kongpob..