Chasing my Dream

Chapter 28

Brandon gave my hand a squeeze.  "Everything will be ok Senna.  I will do anything to make you happy" he said.

I felt that tug in my heart the one that woke your feelings whether you were ready or not.   In order for me to let Brandon in he needs to know my past and why him leaving affected me.  They all need to know my past if I am ever to share a future with them.

"Let's get the table laid" I said standing and Brandon followed me to help.  Axel and Marc arrived just as we had everything ready. 

Axel looked a little more relaxed and Mr joyful, Marc headed straight to me and picked me up in a hug.  "Can you call everyone dinner is ready" I asked.

Marc disappeared out of the kitchen and Brandon pulled out the tacos and bread.  Axel walked over to me and placed a bag on the island. 

"I wasn't sure if you had done dessert but I got some.  I don't have any culinary skills but I have a friend who bakes the best cakes.  She did us a chocolate and macadamia cake" he opened the bag and pulled out a large box. 

Jealousy hit me like a freight train and to hide my reaction I turned and pulled out a cake plate from the cupboard.  "Thanks Axel that was a nice thought" I said quietly.

He slid the cake onto the plate and looked at me.  I was mesmerised by the hope in his eyes and I couldn't look away. "My pleasure love" he drawled and a sliver of pleasure skittered down my spine. 

Raven, Corey and Marc came in just as Brandon had put the Chilli in a serving dish.  "Is that everything?" I asked.

"Yes come on Senna" Brandon gave the dish to Raven, the salad to Corey and a jug of sweet tea to Marc.  He then grabbed my arm and lead me to the dining room.   The tiramisu could be saved for later or tomorrow. 

Dinner was a mix of compliments and moans.  I don't think these men were used to home cooked meals. I had to agree with Axel the cake was gorgeous and he said he would take me to meet her soon and see if I could wrangle the recipe our of her. 

After cleaning up we made our way to the basement.  I sent a quick text to my Dads asking for them to check in. 

Axel sat on the foot stool, Raven and Corey one side of the corner sofa and Brandon and Marc the other.  I started pacing knowing that what I wanted to discuss was hard and I might not want eye contact until I'm finished.

"After talking to Corey earlier I've realised that if I want things to be better between us we need to talk.  Also I want to open up to you all also.  When I was seeing Brandon I felt it was the right time to tell him about my past but we broke up before I had the chance" Brandon put his head down.

"Hey" I walked over and sat by him placing my hand on his leg.  "This isn't about getting at anyone but we all need to be honest.  You all need to say how your feeling without fear of consequences.  I want to open up so that I know you are seeing the true me and if you want to continue with getting to know me afterwards I would like that" Brandon took my hand holding it in his. 

I stayed with Brandon as I knew my past is going to hit him the most.  Going through the details was hard, the torture, the loneliness and the abuse.  I explained how I was rescued and being adopted by Derek and Gerry and the support from the Academy.

It was difficult telling them everything and feeling the air thicken with their anger.  When I did make eye contact I saw a mix of empathy, pride and fury.  I knew at this point they understood.  

I turned to Brandon taking his hand in both of mine as I had felt him turn away from me.  "It was difficult that you left so soon after we had been intimate.  I want you to understand that the time we had together showed me love which in turn gave me the strength to take that step.  Also I understand why you left and maybe I needed that time to find my path.  It helped me focus on the studio and gave me determination to follow my dream.  I also don't blame any of you.  Yes I was shocked and hurt but none of you intentionally hurt me.  Even Brandon I think thought he was saving me" I looked around them all, Corey was wiping at tears as Raven had his arm around his shoulder. 

"I'm not telling you to hurt you I'm just wanting you to understand that although I have suffered pain it doesn't define me.  I also wanted to assure you I am not playing games between you.  I truly had no idea you knew each other yet I have been drawn to you" I sighed. 

Brandon had let go of my hands and pulled me into his side. 

"I was scared Pria.  Scared of my feelings and scared that I would hurt my brothers if they knew how much I already liked you" Axel explained.  "I never want to let them down again or hurt you.  But I can honestly say I want nothing more than to have you in my life" Axel looked so sincere it warmed me inside.  I smiled at him. 

"You know I would give you my right arm for you to let me close to you again.  I miss everything about you and us.  I also don't want to stand in the way of my brothers feelings" Brandon says.   I hug him back knowing he has already snuck back into my heart but I didn't want him to know how much yet.

"I'm just in awe when I'm with you.   I've never had a woman that I consider my best friend whilst also find so hot I don't notice anyone else.  I would be honoured if you would let me get to know you" Marc winked at me. 

"I have seen how much you affected Brandon.  If I'm honest I was jealous and thought that Kaylie would make him just as happy.  She didn't for him or any of us.  Just having you in our lives has made us happier without being on a romantic level.  I think your the most beautiful and genuine woman I've met.  The times we have spent getting close has been amazing but it's taken all of my control not to kiss you all the time. I hope you let us all show you how happy we could make you" a blush crept up Corey's face as he spoke and I was so moved by his honesty.

"You is hot and should be mine. You are the perfect centre to our family" Raven said.  He stood walked over to me picked me up and kissed me. 

As he released me he looked into my eyes. "Better Da?" he said and I couldn't help but laugh. A hole hearted belly aching tear rolling laugh.

As I gathered myself together I noticed everyone was still sat down.  "She taste good Corey?" Raven asked but I could hear the humour in his voice. 

"I can't say that I understand polyamory relationships.  Hell I don't even understand a one to one relationship.  I do know that I have feelings for Brandon, Marc and Axel and developing them for Raven and Corey.  I just need to ask if we are to move forward we must all agree.  There is to be nothing but open and honest communication between us all" I asked.

"We are willing and will obey" they all chanted around me as I was drawn into a huge hug.