Getting Wilder ✔️

BONUS: Wilder POV :D

"Oh," he whispered under his breath, and somehow, the sound was irresistible to me. All rationality left me and for once, I decided to drop my guard. I leaned forwards and kissed him. 

The contact sent my heart into a frenzy. I was inadvertently reminded of kissing Kendra, merely because of how different it felt. I waited for a while to see if he would react. Whether he would push me away, or pull me in. My heart stopped in my chest when his hands reached for my hair, his fingers entangling between the strands. His mouth opened against mine and I pulled him closer to me, the heat between us rising in a catatonic wave. 

For once, I was careless, but somehow, I couldn't get myself to be scared. 

I dipped my tongue into his mouth, letting it entangle with his as a spark coursed through my body. His mouth was warm. Soft. Welcoming. Our hearts seemed to synchronize in harmony as the kiss deepened further. I loved the way he tasted like chocolate. I knew he always had a weakness for them. It felt strange. Different. Beautiful. 

Perfect.

Almost like love. 

But I wasn't sure. How could I be? There was too much history between us. Too much history of me tossing him around like a rag doll. How was this ever going to work if my heart reacted this way to him? I had thought that staying away from him would become easier with years, yet somehow it had gotten difficult. I hadn't stopped loving him. I had simply stopped letting myself accept that I did.

The world around us disappeared into insignificant pinpricks, our hot, eager mouths moving breathlessly before finally, rationality found me like a gunshot to my chest. I leaned away from him and staggered back, placing my hands on the counter, disbelieving what had just happened. My heart already aching from the loss of his touch. 

And I was terrified of how right it had felt. 

I managed to glance at him, feeling my own cheeks burning. His face was flushed, his eyes glassy as if he was as bewildered as I was. I raked a hand through my hair, realizing how fucked up everything was. Here I was, at my girlfriend's party, kissing my ex-best friend whom I had treated like trash. I hoped I could play it off as nothing. But then, what?

"Don't...tell anyone about this." I said, taking a shuddering breath and trying to calm myself even as I yearned to kiss him again. 

"Why?" he asked, clenching his jaw in defiance. 

I took another deep breath, trying to hear my own low voice over the pounding of my heart. I noticed how his eyes seemed almost black, glinting under the dim lights still streaming from outside. 

"Because I have a girlfriend and...I'm not gay."

He scoffed. "Your tongue inside my mouth seemed pretty fucking gay to me, Collins."

I gazed behind me in alarm, my blood running cold. If discovered, it would be a massive scandal. Not to mention, absolutely humiliating for Kendra and possibly subject both Nico and I to ridicule. I didn't want him to face any more shit because of me than he already had. I took another deep breath and glared at him even as my heart leapt. I hadn't been this close to him in a long time.  I had forgotten the comfort and ease. "Don't, Evans. Just forget about it."

"I will. Once I tell Kendra," he grinned cheekily at me, and in spite of myself, I found myself entranced at the way his beautiful eyes lit up when he smiled. However, there was certain darkness in his alluring irises. "Hey Kendra, cool party! By the way, your boyfriend is gay."

I clenched my fists and walked closer to him, wondering if I should just kiss him again. On another hand, this might be a good way to get Kendra to break up with me. "I'm serious, Evans. Just forget this happened and we'll be cool."

He was quiet, studying me with a gaze so unwavering that I felt my confidence crippling. I tried to appear defiant as I spoke, "You're not telling anyone, okay?"

He turned his face away from me, muttering under his breath. "No one would believe me anyway."

I looked at him in surprise. What did he mean? Was it so unbelievable to him that I would want to kiss him? A horrifying thought formed in my head. What if he thought I was just making fun of him? Or humouring him because I knew about his feelings for me? No way. He knew me better than that. 

My heart jumped up to my throat when the glass doors opened behind me and Archer's voice yelled loudly, "Collins, come on, we're having a cannonball contest!"

A part of me was relieved that they had arrived to break the almost solid tension. However, I kind of wished that they hadn't. The conflicting feelings of wanting to be around Nicola and needing to be as far as possible from him were two relentless beasts engaged in combat in my chest. 

"Evans,"  McKinney drawled, "Would you like to join us?"

My stomach clenched nervously. They were going to try to pick on him again. Before I could try to diffuse the tension however, Hector spoke. "Man, this must be such a party for you!" he chuckled, "Half-naked guys all-around-" they all laughed as Nico's eyes momentarily drifted to me. I couldn't get myself to look at him, nervously shuffling my feet. He had every opportunity to oust me. But I knew he would never stoop that low. He was too noble for this world. "This must be like your fantasies coming true!"

I decided to step in, before I could however, much to my surprise, Nico flashed him his adorable grin. "Yes, Hector. However, my fantasies shan't be fulfilled unless these lips of mine were to find yours."

I almost smiled at his words, my stomach unclenching slightly. I watched, bewildered as Nico walked confidently up to Hector, glaring up at him even though he was tiny next to him. He seemed to study him for a while, crinkling his nose as if in distaste. "You're not my type. I don't consider men below the intelligence quotient of ten."

This time I struggled to hold a laugh back when McKinney whispered. "Such a weirdo. Why does he talk like that?"

"Do you expect anything less against your cheap below the belt taunts?" I said, watching as Nico sauntered out of the kitchen with his head held high. I glanced at McKinney and tried to speak in a firm voice. "I told you. Lay off him."

He rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if they knew or had an inkling that my feelings for Nico transcended to something much more than friendship. Even if they did, I knew none of them would dare to mention it to my face. Not until I remained the football captain. Not until I remained Wilder Collins. 

Gay Wilder Collins was a hypothesis I was terrified to explore. Because if I ever came out of the closet, my sexuality would be the most important thing about me. 

"Whatever man. Come on," Archer crossed his arms in front of his chest and nodded at me. "It's body shots time!"

I sighed softly, raking a hand through my hair as my heart sunk. The one time that I had watched the entire football team getting drunk had resulted in too much vomit on the floor that I had barely evaded. The raucous sounds and laughter still made me wary, and I was in no mood to repeat that.

"I'll head home," I answered, pretending to yawn for good measure. "See you guys on the field."

Archer nodded at me while McKinney stared at me suspiciously. Maybe he knew. Maybe he didn't. He wouldn't have the courage to do anything anyway. I managed to give Kendra a sloppy enough kiss and slip out of the party, sitting quietly in my car for a while, finding myself touching my lips softly and reminiscing the touch of Nico's on them. And I wondered if it had merely been a dream. 

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I initially didn't plan to, but seems like Wilder is much more romantic than I gave him credit for :") Just happened naturally and I think it does fit his personality. Let me know what you thought of this chapter! Which other bonus pov are you guys most looking forward to?

This is too much fun and I can't stop writing bonus stuff.