Find Yourself

Chapter 6

Benji

"Let me call my mom and ask her." Felix quickly exclaimed. Benji just laughed. He knew Felix was so excited that he didn't even think to call his own mother before offering his apartment for his boyfriend. It didn't matter where he went, no matter the destination, Benji knew he was going to be there too.

"I have never fallen this hard for someone this fast before," Benji thought to himself as he rested his head on Victor's shoulder. The thought that he would do anything for him scared Benji immensely. He never felt that way about Derek. From the moment he first saw Victor at Creekwood, his heart skipped a beat and continues every time he sees him.

Felix walked back to the group from his phone call. He looks remarkably happier than usual: "So, I just talked to mom, and she said you are more than welcome in staying in the guest bedroom," Felix looks to me, and he smiles, "Mom said you could stay over any time you want! She misses you coming over."

Felix started to look sad, Benji use to go over all the time. Till he started drinking, Benji closed his eyes, letting go of Victor's hand for a moment, reaching into his jacket pocket. He put his hand on his One year AA chip, remembering that he quit hanging out with Felix when he got into drinking heavily. He missed those days.

No one knows that he was in Alcoholics Anonymous, he thought to himself, and it was going to stay that way. It wasn't something he even wanted to do. After his drunken accident at Wendy's, a judge ordered him to do it. Only 90 days, but he still had to do it. Weirdly enough, he kept going. He wanted to prove to himself he could do a year. He couldn't be an alcoholic if he used alcohol as a crutch to cover up him being gay. "One day, I will tell Victor, he should know, but everything is so new and what if he was weird after he told him." Benji thought to himself.

"That sounds like fun!" Benji kissed Victor on the cheek, thinking of going over to Felix and Victor's place to be with his boyfriend anytime he wanted. He missed going over and hanging out with him. Felix and his mom were so great, especially because Felix was the first person he told.

Looking down at the ground, Benji saw his guitar. He wanted to play something for him to show him how he feels. "God, I have never felt like this before! I never wanted to sing something for Derek before. Victor Salazar, you terrify me, and I am loving every moment of it." Benji thought to himself. He kept going through songs he could sing to him, and every single one he wanted to sing was a love song because that is how he felt. He was head over heels in love with Victor Salazar.

Benji quickly reminded himself to run his idea past Leah. He was skeptical at first, but he and Leah became friends today. She even offered him to be in her band, Emoji, after telling her about my band and my ex-boyfriend Derek. "Not going to lie, I don't know if I can go back to the band. Derek would make it way too weird," Benji thought to himself.

Leah lets out the biggest sigh of relief, "Victor, Abby and I are going to look at apartments in Atlanta, if you want, we can go with you to get your stuff from your parent's place-" Victor just blurted out, "My mom isn't at home anymore, it's just my dad. Sister is in Texas, and little brother is with mom, wherever she is."

"I need to help cheer him up. How can we be happy if he is worried about his family." Benji thought to himself. Taking one look at my boyfriend, "Victor." I look into his brown eyes, which I could get lost into, "We will deal with your family when the time comes, let's get back to the diner, and I have a surprise for you." Victor just stared at me. He had no idea what I was about to do.

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We all get back to the diner, Victor won't let go of my hand, and its the cutest thing ever. I can't believe I am bout to do this. I think of the song, trying to remember the words. I don't want to mess up the words, especially when I confess how I feel bout him.