Don't Love Me ✓

29

The time flew by and before any of us had any idea, it was already dark. I unlocked my phone and the clock showed quarter past seven. The evening really went by beautifully as both of us just talked, talked about anything and everything, about each other’s likes and dislikes, dream destination and just talked in general.

Surprisingly, nothing got awkward between us after his confession and we were back to normal, teasing each other and making dirty innuendos, the dirty innuendos was obviously, him. The evening was quiet and comforting as we sat beside each other on the bench at a comfortable distance, eating our icecreams.

“I used to hate you before, do you know that?” Caden asked, out of the blue and I nodded my head sheepishly, “You made it quite obvious.”

“I wanted nothing more than you to disappear in thin air.” He chuckled darkly, pulling me close by the shoulder, his touch was not harsh at all, it was a gentle pull which he did absentmindedly.

“I don’t understand.” I entwined my fingers in my lap and looked down, my head filled with lots and lots of questions.

“What?”

“You used to hate me, what changed?” There, I asked the question which I was dreading for so long.

“My thoughts about you.”

“Huh?” I looked up at him with my eyebrows furrowed.

“I guess my mind was just not ready to process that there are actually people out there who cares about others more than them, even if it leads them in deadly troubles.” My mind shifted to our first meeting in that dark alley and I knew for a fact that he was hinting that only considering how he let out a small laugh at the end.

“I didn’t have the world best childhood. My parents were away fifty percent of the time which brought many misunderstandings and fights between us which exists till date, so to have been around someone who was always smiling and bringing smiles on everyone’s faces, acting like she had no worry in the world, troubled me. I thought you were fake and it was all just a facade, but as we started growing up, I realised you have been the same person from highschool to uni and then I started to have second thoughts about hating you because no one can fake this long and then I found you crying, twice, alone. Something in me stirred and I realised that I had been hating you all this while for absolutely no reason and then I felt stupid for hating you, so here we are, sitting besides each other, talking like long lost friends.”

“What if I say, I will disappear in a thin air few months from now?” He looked at me as if I had gone crazy and then flicked my forehead, giving me his thousand watt smile,

“Then I hunt you down and attach you by my side because you are my sunshine and without you, my life would probably be just grey clouds ready to pour.”

“Stop over exaggerating. Few months from now and you’d be busy in your own life, starting your own career, probably starting your family. You won’t even remember who Rosaline Willow was.” A strange look appeared on his face and he smiled. He cupped my face and leaned closer, stopping at a reasonable distance and whispered in his velvety voice,

“What if I want to start my family with you?” My heart thumped loudly against my ribcage and my stomach started doing summersault.

“This ain’t funny.” I turned my head and stared at the ground, my brain waiting for him to say that he was kidding so that I could stop my heart from falling for him more.

“Does it look like I am being funny?”

“I am hungry.” I said, not wanting to continue this topic anymore, but something in me told that this won’t be the last time we were having this conversation.

“Let’s go and eat then.”

~

It was around eleven when he dropped me home. To say that I did not enjoy myself would be the understatement of the year. He was standing before me, just staring at me as I did the same. Turmoil of emotions were running inside me as he stepped closer and held my waist, pulling me towards him.

His eyes roamed all over my face and kept on switching between my eyes and my lips, waiting for an indication, just a small indication or sign from me, but I couldn’t, especially not after knowing that nothing could happen between us. His eyes lit under the moonlight and I wanted nothing more than embrace the present, be close to him, let him do everything that he wanted to, but at the end of the day I would just hurt him which was the last thing I wanted to do.

He deserved someone better, someone who was not sick, someone who was not an emotional mess, someone who could love him with all of their entire existence, someone who could make him feel alive, but that someone was not me because how was I supposed to make him feel alive when I was not going to be alive for very long?

“Can I?” He whispered huskily, his lips dangerously close to mine, our breaths mingling in the air and our hearts beating at an alarming rate.

It hurt me knowing that I was hurting both of us in the process, but it was for the betterment of both of us. I was doing it for the both of us.

“This is wrong.” I whispered back, my eyes tearing up. Oh, how badly I wanted to say yes.

“Please.” His voice held pain and lust as he put his forehead against mine.

This was all so heartbreaking.

“Forgive me.” With that said, I ran inside my home and closed the door behind me, breathing heavily as tears pooled in my eyes and within no time, it started rolling off my cheeks.

He looked hurt, so hurt.

Upon hearing me crying hysterically, Grace rushed down the stairs and held me in her arms, comforting me like she always does. I was such a burden on her, I was such a burden on everyone.

“Shh, Rosa, it’s okay. Calm down.” She consoled me while I cried in her arms.

“You should have looked in his eyes, Gracie, they looked so hurt, so broken and I did it. I hurt him, Gracie.”

“Or you can just get the treatment and stop hurting the both of you, Rosa. Please reconsider your decision.”

And all I could do was nod.

•••••••

Is the story going at a perfect pace or is it a bit too fast-forward?

This is my first time writing a non-cliché story as I have mentioned before, so badly need your guys opinions.