Don't Love Me ✓

12

“Rosa?” I hummed in response indicating her to continue, not bothering to look up from my notebook.

“What do you think I should name my kids?” Her question made me look up from my notebook where I was trying to understand the economic theory with a diagram and raise an eyebrow at her.

“There is still a long time to go for that Gracie.”

“You won’t be there when I’ll be naming my kids, so just asking for your opinion beforehand.” She said shrugging her shoulders and I narrowed my eyes at her. She had never talked about my future so casually before, so it definitely meant that something was up, all I had to figure out was what.

“I think Fiona if your baby is a girl and Shane if it’s a boy.” I replied almost instantly.

“Why do I feel like you had pre decided the names?” She pointed out and I lazily shrugged my shoulders at her, “I guess that was what I wanted to name my kids.”

“Then why are you suggesting those names to me?”

“We both know the answer to that, Gracie.”

“You do know you still have chance, right? You can get this really amazing treatment that Dr. Kelly suggested and get married in future and have kids with those names, isn’t that amazing?” She suggested and I shook my head at her subtle way of indicating that I should get the treatment.

“I know what you are trying to do, Gracie and it’s not going to work.” I continued doing my work and she sighed in disappointment.

“You never told me why you don’t want to get the fucking treatment, Rosa.” She stood up from the bed angrily and looked at me with narrowed eyes.

“I did told you, Gracie, I don’t have enough money.” I closed the books as I was clearly not going to understand a thing when we have this argument going on, again.

It was the fifth time we were having this same conversation going in the past three days and every time I tried avoiding it with the above said statement, it worked as we were always disturbed by one or the other person, but I did not think it was going to work today considering how no one was going to disturb us at ten in the night.

“And I have told you this million fucking times before that I can lend you money!” She exasperated making me feel bad for her, but at the same time it was making me angry that she was not getting my point.

“I will never be able to return you the money, Gracie, even if I die working because we are not talking about few dollars, we are talking about thousands and thousands of them!” I put my one of the few points across.

“No one is asking you to return the damn money! I am a billionaire Rosa, a few thousand dollars won’t affect me.”

Well, that was true.

“But it will affect me, Gracie! I cannot live my entire life thinking how I had been selfish to use my best friend's money.” I flared my hands in the air, my face red from anger.

Being angry was not a part of my personality and I didn’t even remember the last time I was angry, but for some reason I couldn’t help, but lash out at her. No, I did not want to fight with her, but I think I had the right to decide what I wanted to do with my life.

“How is that being fucking selfish when your best friend is offering you money very gladly?!”

“Let us pretend for one second that I get the treatment, then what? My entire life will end up returning the money that I have borrowed because there is no way I am letting someone lend me a huge sum of money and then what? For whom am I supposed to live? My parents who died years ago? My relatives who live oceans away and doesn’t even care if I exist or not?” I was breathing heavily by the time I said all of these and I was too exhausted with all of the screaming and shouting. I have idea how people does this on normal basis because few minutes into an argument and it was already starting to give me a headache.

“What about me, Rosa? Don’t I fucking matter in your life? Tell me!”

“You matter to me more than anything else in this world, Gracie.” I spoke, quietly and smiled at her with unshed tears.

“Then why can’t you live for me?” She lowered down her voice by an octave and I sighed, “You will soon get married, Gracie, get an amazing job opportunity, we don’t even know if you will be living in this city or not. You will be too busy with your family—”

“I will never be busy for you, Rosa and you know it. Plus, won’t you get married too?”

“You will never understand Grace, forget it.” I shook my head and walked out of the home, laughing bitterly at life, when I heard her throwing something at the wall and scream, “Then make me fucking understand!”

So much for having a peaceful sleepover.

It was already more than half past ten at night and the streets were empty. Except for dogs howling far at the distance, the streets were eerily quiet. The cold breeze of air made me realise how I had been stupid enough to walk out without grabbing a hoodie or even change my shorts into a pair of jeans.

But that’s what angry decisions lead you to— In trouble.

Twenty to twenty five minutes of thoughtful walking later, I found myself near an isolated park. I had been here many times before, but all before when all the chaos broke down. It used to be my favourite park, when my parents were still here, in this world, but after they died in an airplane crash, I stopped coming here as it contained too many memories, but today I wanted to let them all out.

I was not even lucky enough to visit them in a graveyard because god knows where they are buried. I opened the gate of the park and looked around to find it in the exact same position as it was three years before. A tear escaped my eye before I could stop it and soon I was in my own puddle of mess and tears.

I sat down under the bench of a huge oak tree which used to be our favourite spot. A small laugh escaped my lips when I remembered how once my dad slipped on a banana peel and my mom broke down into fits of laughter. For someone looking at me from afar, they would think I was possessed.

I had no idea how long it was since I stepped into this park, lost in my own thoughts as I had not brought my phone with me. A cold breeze of air flew by and I hugged myself for some warmth. The plain white long t-shirt that I was wearing was not helping my case either. I rubbed my head to ease some pain, but it was throbbing badly.

My alone time soon turned aloof, as I heard footsteps and some dried leaves crumbling against their foot. Panic
erupted inside me and I started taking deep breaths to calm my frantic nerves. My fingers started fidgeting with the hem of my shirt as my eyes darted towards the noise hoping to see a friendly face.

But what I saw made my heartbeats race.

•••••••

A new chapter is coming really soon, prolly by evening or tomorrow.