Don't Love Me ✓

9

We started walking towards his car, tension definitely high up in the air. I was walking a little behind him on purpose because I knew he did not like me and I did not want to give any more reasons to him to get angry at me as I don’t do really well with anger.

We reached his car and he looked at me with those dark eyes that were intense and filled with anger. He motioned me to sit inside the car and I nodded my head without any protest. The less the talk, the better.

I sat in the car, uncomfortably and in an alert position, I had no idea why I was getting so nervous and tensed over this, but I just was and something in me was telling me that it was not going to turn out well. The only thing that was running through my brain was why did he suddenly decided to drop me.

He started the car without giving me a single glance and I was more than happy to god for that. Yes, I wanted to be friends with him, but not today, not in these heated conditions and definitely not when he was mad angry at me for some reason.

“Directions.”

He simply said and I immediately gave him my address with a small smile, in a hope that maybe his anger will melt away and I won’t have to wonder what I did wrong all the while.

Ten minutes later, he was still angry and I was still a nervous and a tired mess. I let out yet another yawn and only hoped to reach home as soon as possible, so I can lay on the bed and get some sleep.

As if the god listened to my prayers,  the car suddenly halted to a stop and I internally thanked to whomsoever invented seat belts because I would be flying in the air by now. Yes, his driving was rash, but was I affected? No, as Grace had already given me all such experiences beforehand and many times for that matter.

“Thank you.” I whispered and got out of the car. I was never the one to judge someone, but I had amazing gut feelings that were never wrong and I knew for a fact that he did not drop me out of the kindness of his heart and he had a purpose hidden behind this.

As I was unlocking the door, I noticed that he got out of the car too and was now walking towards me. I lifted my head up and looked at him with a confused stare. He came and stood beside me without uttering a single word and the confusion inside me grew more.

“Do you always take this long in opening the door?” He asked, very rudely might I add.

“Oh, erm, no.” I quickly unlocked the door and open it, stepping inside, him right behind me.

“Do you want some water?” I asked, but he didn’t say anything and just kept looking at me with some weird look.

“I can make you coffee too.” I offered, just in case he was more of a coffee kind of a guy.

He took a step forward and that was when I realised that my gut feeling was not wrong and he definitely had a purpose behind dropping me home. Instead of stepping back in fear, I stood steadily in my place because there was no way he was here to kill me, a few threats here and there maybe, but definitely nothing violent, so I had nothing to be afraid of.

“Erm, I could have offered you drinks, but I don’t have any available right now.” I said, passing him a small smile, as he took a step further.

“Turn around.” Two words, filled with immense authority and rage, but making no sense at all.

“Pardon?”
 
“I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were deaf too.”

“I heard you loud and clear, but all I am asking is why?”

“Oh, so the good, little, obedient girl talks back.” He said, letting out a humorless laugh and I stood silent. I never did anything wrong to him, so I could not even think of a reason as to why he was mad at me.

I literally talked to him for the first time, like, yesterday!

“Turn. Around.” He said again, more like ordered and without asking any more questions, I did as he said and turned around.

Just as I turned around, I felt him move closer and that was when my heartbeats started increasing and the red alarm in my brain started ringing. I tried to move away, but he pulled me back by the belt loop of the jeans.

“W-What are you d-doing?” I asked, my heart thumping loud.

“Stay quiet and stand still.”

“But—”

“Utter a single word and I will fucking rip this t-shirt into pieces.” My eyes started to get watery and I stood still as I was instructed to. I didn’t usually cry because life is too short to waste tears, but moments like this makes me hard to resist crying.

I let the tears flow, as I cried silently. I bit the inside of my cheeks to avoid letting out a sob or provide him with any sign of me crying. The hold of his fingers on my jeans loosened and I felt him lifting up my t-shirt just till above my waist.

I shivered due to the sudden contact of the skin with air and also partly due to the close proximity. His fingers traced against my skin and I winced as the bruises were still fresh, like yesterday fresh. The feel of his fingers was rough yet smooth against my skin as he lightly traced his fingers right over my bruises— the ones that he gave me.

“Turn around.” He said, in a low tone and I quickly wiped away my tears, before turning around.

“Apply some ointment over it and it will be gone in two to three days.” I nodded my head, as he walked away without giving me a second glance.

Is this what ‘Boys are confusing’ feels like?
 
••••••••

Oh, so he does care.