orenda [leo valdez]

xxvii. Frank the Godlfish

Everything fell apart from there.

Per usual.

Kira shifted uncomfortably, glancing towards Percy and Frank.

"Oh, it's fine!" the god assured them. "Keto might be a little boring, but she'll take good care of your friend. And honestly, the best part of the tour is still to come!"

"So..." Percy managed. "Dionysus sent us here."

"Bacchus," Frank corrected.

"Right." Percy said. "The wine god. Whatever." He looked at Phorcys. "Bacchus said you might know what your mom Gaea is up to, and these twin giant brothers of yours—Ephialtes and Otis. And if you happen to know anything about this Mark of Athena—"

"Bacchus thought I would help you?" Phorcys asked.

"Well, yeah," Percy said. "I mean, you're Phorcys. Everybody talks about you."

Phorcys tilted his head so that his mismatched eyes almost lined up. "They do?"

"Of course. Don't they, Frank?"

"Oh...sure!" Frank said. "People talk about you all the time."

"What do they say?" the god asked.

Frank looked uncomfortable. "Well, you have great pyrotechnics. And a good announcer's voice. And, um, a disco ball—"

"It's true!" Phorcys clacked his fingers and thumbs excitedly. "I also have the largest collection of captive sea monsters in the world!"

"And you know stuff," Percy added. "Like about the twins and what they're up to."

"The twins!" Phorcys made his voice echo. Sparklers blazed to life in front of the sea serpent tank. "Yes, I know all about Ephialtes and Otis. Those wannabes! They never fit in with the other giants. Too puny—and those snakes for feet."

"Snakes for feet?" Percy asked.

"Yes, yes," Phorcys said impatiently. "They knew they couldn't get by on their strength, so they decided to go for drama—illusions, stage tricks, that sort of thing. You see, Gaea shaped her giant children with specific enemies in mind. Each giant was born to kill a certain god. Ephialtes and Otis...well, together they were sort of the anti-Dionysus."

Percy tried to wrap his mind around that idea. "So...they want to replace all wine with cranberry juice or something?"

The sea god snorted. "Nothing like that! Ephialtes and Otis always wanted to do things better, flashier, more spectacular! Oh, of course they wanted to kill Dionysus. But first they wanted to humiliate him by making his revelries look tame!"

Frank glanced at the sparklers. "By using stuff like fireworks and disco balls?"

Phorcys's mouth stretched into that wind tunnel smile. "Exactly! I taught the twins everything they know, or at least I tried to. They never listened. Their first big trick? They tried to reach Olympus by piling mountains on top of one another. It was just an illusion, of course. I told them it was ridiculous. 'You should start small,' I said. 'Sawing each other in half, pulling gorgons out of a hat. That sort of thing. And matching sequined outfits. Twins need those!'"

"Good advice," Percy agreed. "And now the twins are—"

"Oh, preparing for their doomsday show in Rome," Phorcys sneered. "It's one of Mother's silly ideas. They're keeping some prisoner in a large bronze jar." He turned toward Frank and Kira. "You're a children of Ares, aren't you? You've got that smell. The twins imprisoned your father the same way, once."