fix you (13rw)

Chapter 30

"Good for you," May sat down beside me. My sister might be a bitch sometimes but she always got my back. "Want me to come with you?"

"I'd like that," Someone who would stand by my side despite the incoming storm. "Thank you May."

"No need to thank me," Her usual attitude was now coming back. "Just let me borrow your car next weekend. Deal?"

"Deal." I laughed at how quickly her personality changed. One second she was my sweet little sister, the next she was back on her old snarky self.

The sound of a familiar car parking in front of our house brought chills to my spine. This was it. The moment of truth. Lets just get this over with, I couldnt handle the anxiety any longer.

My sister followed my footsteps on our way to the living room. My mom, carrying a grocery bag on her right hand, saw us and immediately gave us a kiss on the cheek. My mom never does that, maybe things would go my way this time.

"Mom." My throat was dry, my voice was hoarse.

"Yes honey?" She placed the grocery bag she was holding on the floor. My sister was beside me, she was quiet. I bet she was also nervous too.

"Can we talk?" I sat on the sofa, my sister followed and my mom sat in front of me.

"Sure," She looked at us suspiciously. "Are you guys failing your classes?"

"No." I saw May shook her head beside me, indicating she was also not failing any subject.

"Then what is it?" My mom took out her purse from her bag. "Do you guys need money?"

"Mom," This was it. I could never go back now, finally gaining the balls I never had since the day Alex kissed me on the rooftop. "Im... I dont like girls."

"Zach," My mom was not moving, she froze and her facial features was tense. "Ofcourse you do."

"I dont mom," I explained. "I mean, I used to and maybe in the future I'd like girls again but right now? I like this boy, I think I'm in love with him."

"No," She was shaking her head. "No, this cant be. My son cant be gay."

"Mom," It was May. "I dont think he's gay. I think Zach is bisexual or pansexual. But does it matter? He's still your son and he's still my brother.

"Go to your room," My mom glared at May, her voice was sharp that all May could do was follow. "Now!"

"Im sorry." May whispered to me, her voice was shaking, before going upstairs. Its okay, May. This is my fight, not your's or Alex's.

"Zach," My mom was crying. "How can you do this to me?"

"Its not something, I can control." I was defeated. It happened, the storm I was anticipating, it was here and I was drenched in water as the wind blowed through my weakened body.

"You can't like boys," My mom stood up. "Our family is very religious, Zach. You cant do this to me, to them."

"Mom," I felt a tear drop from my eyes. "I dont want to hide anymore. I dont want to keep hurting the person that I love."

"Is it Alex?" She asked. I was quiet and my silence answered her question. "Zach, you need to choose and I want you to choose carefully between Alex or your family."

"Mom, please." I begged. I kneeled in front of her pleading for her acceptance. But some things, even if you begged for it, the world wouldnt hand it to you so easily.

"Choose." Some people would choose family in a heartbeat but when Luke asked me to choose between Alex and my mom, I chose my mom. I could no longer hurt Alex, so this time I would choose him. Over and over again.

"I can't." My knees were aching from kneeling. I wanted my mom to see her son, I wanted her to see me but she was blinded by what our family taught her.

"I guess you made your choice," My mom wiped her tears. Her voice was echoing in our house. "Pack up your things. Leave your car keys."

"What?" She couldnt do this. Please.

"Leave, I dont want to see you here." My mom walked off, leaving me in the living room, crying on the floor.

This was it. The storm had passed and it stripped away all of what I had, a roof, a car, a mother. It was all stripped away from me because I chose to be myself because I chose the person that I love.

I packed some of my clothes and important things I would need on my gym bag. I made it as fast as possible, if I forgot anything, I'd just buy some of the convenience store. I needed a job, because my savings could only support me for days, a week maybe. I didnt say goodbye to May, but I left her a note and placed it under the door of her room. I didnt look back, not to plead one more time in front of my mom. Nothing will change her mind, not even her broken son. I started walking away and I found myself walking towards Alex's house.

His dad was not yet home since there was no police car in front of their house. I sniffed and made sure I didnt look like I came from crying when I knocked on the door. Alex didnt open the door, it was Peter.

"Zach," He looked at me with worry in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, eventhough I wasnt. "Is Alex home?"

"He's not," I needed Alex right now. "I got a text from Tony that he's hanging out with a friend. I thought it was you."

"He's avoiding me." I admitted. I wonder who was the person Alex was hanging out with? Clay? Justin? Charlie?

"Do you want to wait for him?" Peter offered.

"I cant," I looked at my watch, it was already getting late. "Your dad cant see me here."

"I'll tell Alex to give you a call when he gets home okay?" Peter said, pity in his voice. "Go home Zach, go get some rest."

I nodded. Home? I no longer have one. Alex was my only home now. I found myself walking again, this time I didnt know where I was going. My feet were hurting but I couldnt stop. I texted Clay if Alex was with them, I got a fast reply saying he wasnt.

Alex promised me he would be here.

My feet was now walking on its own. I had been walking for an hour now. I knew the place because it was familiar, I had been here many times before. I knocked on the door and was greeted by a girl I onced called my home.

"Zach?" Chloe was surprised. "What happened to you."

"Can I stay for the night?"

Chloe accepted me. She kept asking me what happened but I was not in the right state of mind yet. I still couldnt process what happened, how fast it happened. Chloe didnt mind that we share her bed but I refused and told her I'd just sleep on the sofa. My phone eventually died and I forgot my phone charger in my room.

My fear happened and I felt miserable. Alex was not here beside me just like what he promised. I was in a place I thought I would never go back to. All I wanted right now is for Alex to hold my hands and whisper sweet assurances in my ears. But I was alone, alone on a sofa of the girl that I thought I loved.

-

This is probably the longest chapter I wrote. I know this is a sad chapter so I apologize. Forgive me.

Alex where the fuck are you? Oh yeah, he's with Winston, playing video games and having another one sided kiss.

- G