Earning Her Own Name

Chapter 21

I took a sip of my coffee as I pulled into the parking lot of the recording studio. The week had dragged out, but Saturday had finally come. I was so nervous, but excitement tingled inside of my stomach as well. This was my chance.

I parked the car and grabbed my guitar case from the back seat as well as my song book. I was about to shut the car door and make my way inside when something fell off the back seat of the car and onto the pavement next to me. I looked down curiously, trying to figure out what it could have been. My heart stuttered when I recognized Liam’s sweatshirt. I leaned down and picked it up off the ground and stood up, just holding it in my hand and staring at it. I must have grabbed it along with my songbook before I left earlier and not even noticed.

I let out a sigh as I tossed it back into the car and slammed the door shut, spinning on my heels and walking towards the entrance of the studios. I hadn’t spoken to Liam since Monday when he showed up at my school and God, did I feel empty. I hadn’t really spoken to my sister either, only when necessary, and the only time I really spoke to my mother was when I asked to borrow her car for today. Let’s just say I hadn’t spoken much this week.

I took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside. I didn’t even have the time to look around before I heard someone call my name.

“You must be Danielle. I’m Jane.” Said a woman with nice ginger hair and warm green eyes. I couldn’t look her in the eye however seeing that they reminded me of Liam’s gaze too much. I took her outstretched hand and shook it politely.

“Please, call me Danni.” I told her with a smile.

“Well then Danni,” she said. “Let’s get to work.” She finished before turning around and indicating for me to follow her as she made her way towards a door and down a hallway.

We entered a small room with all of the equipment necessary to record. I looked around the room in awe. I felt so… honored to be here. Everything was so professional and high tech and expensive. Just standing here made me feel like a celebrity.

"You like?" she asked, holding her arms out as if she was presenting the room to me. I nodded quickly, a real smile spreading across my face for the first time in days. This is my time. I don't need to worry about Liam or Sami. This is my life. I have to let go and live it.

"Well okay. So you can just make yourself comfortable over there," she said pointing at a chair. I nodded and walked over, placing my guitar down and taking a seat. "Just take your time and warm up. I'll be in the other room and we'll start in a few minutes, okay?" she finished pointing towards the window that showed the other room where the sound board was located. I nodded and unpacked my guitar as she left. I let out a long breath as I made sure it was in tune before strumming a few chords. I hummed a few notes before starting to quietly play the intro to Good Riddance. I felt like I had no choice. This is my warm up song. I almost can't perform unless I've played this first. I guess you can consider it my pre performance ritual if you will.

I ended up finding it hard to make it through the song smoothly. My hand can't slipping or my fingers weren't pressing down on the strings properly, thus making this ugly sound. It took about ten minutes just for me to get through that one song and it was horrible. I let out a groan of frustration. I can't do this. Not now. I can't mess this up before I even have the proper chance.

I took a deep breath before trying again, but I barely made it through the first verse without my hand slipping.

"Why is this happening?!" I growled to myself. I mean, it did kind of feel weird playing right now. I know it shouldn't as guitar has become second nature to me by now, but I hadn't really played since my fight with Liam. After I got the call from Jane, I tried to practice, but my heart was never really in it, and I always ended up giving up.