Earning Her Own Name

Chapter 16

I sighed as I flipped through the channels on my t.v. This is basically what I had been doing for the past few weeks. Sleeping, eating, listening to music, watching t.v., going to the bathroom, and that’s about it. Evan and my Mom had started to yell at me to get up and do something. Sometimes Evan dragged me out of the house to go do something with him and his friends, but I was always the deadbeat, and I knew it. I couldn’t help it though.

I looked at my phone and sighed. My background was still the picture of Danni and I that she had set when she stole my phone before we stopped talking. I gave a broken smile at the sight of it. I missed her so much. God I missed her.

I wanted so badly to hate her for what she did; choosing that dick over me. But I couldn’t hate her. It was just impossible to do. She was so perfect in every single way. I couldn’t be mad at her for choosing the person that makes her happier. I just really hoped that Sean gave her everything she wanted and more. She deserved the world for God’s sake!

I tried to reprimand myself for thinking so highly of her. Why should I? She had completely shattered me. In no way did I want to still love her. I wish I could just forget her, but here I was, sitting on my couch like a slob eating chips and watching t.v.

God I felt like a heart broken girl.

“Liam!” Evan groaned when he walked into the living room. I looked up and saw him roll his eyes at me. I narrowed mine in exchange. He didn’t know the position I was in. He had no right to judge me.

“What Evan?” I snapped.

“Get up! Do something! Come on. Even Mom is complaining about you being home and depressed all the time. Was Danni really your only friend?!” He asked me impatiently. I clenched my fists.

“Yes!” I shouted. He jumped at my sudden anger but regained himself quickly. I sighed and stood up, rolling up the bag of chips and throwing them onto the counter in the kitchen. I walked past Evan and knocked shoulders with him. I paused and looked him in the eye.

“She was my only friend. But she was more than just a friend.” I said dully. Evan sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look man, I know it hurts, and yeah it sucks, but she’s not worth it. She’s just some crazy bitch who made the wrong choice. You deserve better.”

“She’s not a crazy bitch. She made her decision. I can’t get mad at her for wanting to be happy.” I said and looked at my hands.

“But you can get mad at her for hurting you. Which she clearly did.” Evan pointed out.

“She didn’t want to. I’d rather her make the decision to make herself happy than give Sean up and stay friends with me out of pity. That would just be worse.” I said and made my way over to the couch once more.

“Worse…” Evan scoffed and shook his head. “At this point, I don’t think there is a worse for you bro. You got it bad.” He said and walked out of the living room. I clenched my jaw and picked up my phone and checked it. Not like anyone texted me anymore. It only used to be Evan, my Mom and Danni. Talk about having no friends.

My eyes lingered on the date displayed on the home screen. The reason on why it seemed so familiar popped in my head. Today was the day of Danni’s Junior Prom. She had gone on to me about for a while before Sean even came along. The date had therefore been carved into my memory. I was actually thinking about asking her to let me take her, but then Sean came into the picture and well, you know the rest.

Without thinking I opened a new text to Danni and told her to have fun tonight. I don’t know why. I guess I just need something, anything, a reason to talk to her. If she answered… it’d just be… amazing. Seeing my phone light up with her name again.