Unfortunately Fated

Chapter 19

Jonathan

       Since Maxwell is back, a lot changed. Maxwell had told Alpha Damon about my recent change, meaning he said to him that I left myself go, rogue. I hated him for that. Alpha Damon locked me up in a cell and has been trying ways to get me to turn back. Taylor would, of course, visit every day, trying to talk me back onto shore. But I felt nothing. Just how I wanted. "Okay, Jonathan, do you remember what it was like growing up?" I had a doctor who would come in and try to get me to remember the good memories of my life. "I remember being alone all the time. Feeling lonely." I smiled at her statistically. "Well, I'm sure you remember how close your family was." Dr. Robinson said to me. "Oh, yes, my family was very close. Let's see, where should I begin. How about how my uncle kidnapped my mom and had her locked up for years before she was found. Or, how about my cousin Rhen, who was cursed and I never met until almost a year ago. Oh, and her evil lycan is my evil lycans sister. Wait, how about the part where my mate died in a car crash. No, but wait, this one my favorite. My mother kicking me out of my own home because I got another mate but not the one she wanted for me. And then my new mate left me for months, and I was left in agonizing pain. Yeah, my family is very close." Dr. Robinson's face was filled with sadness. I couldn't help but laugh and feel sorry for her.

      "Now, what did you do to have them make you come talk to me? Don't you know there is no saving me? If I turn it off, all my feelings come back, and I don't want to feel them anymore. What is so hard to understand about that?" I crossed my arms and leaned back onto the couch I was sitting on. "Not all feelings are good, and not all feelings are bad. You just need to learn how to cope with them. That's why I'm here; you let your feelings take you over. You focused too much on the bad in your life, and now you feel there is no good anywhere." I couldn't find anything witty to say to that, and she was partly right. But I wasn't going to let her know that. "Nah, I don't think so. Next question."

     "What about Maxwell made you want to give him a chance?" Dr. Robinson asked as she took notes in a notebook. "I don't know, I just did. Guess it was the mate bond because looking back, I was an idiot for giving him a chance." I shrugged at her. "Here's what I think, I think you felt like you weren't worthy of love. After Olivia-" I growled at her, and she looked at me surprised. "Don't talk about Olivia," I said with my teeth gritted. "Seems I've hit a nerve. Why not? I mean, Olivia would be very disappointed in you if she were to find out you gave in to the deepest and darkest place of your heart. Don't you think?" She was walking a fine line, and she needed to stop, I could feel the anger start to consume me. "If Olivia was here right now, what do you think she would say? Something along the lines of 'Cherry, I'm so disappointed in you.'" I jumped up and lunged at her, but if it weren't for the chains pinning me to the wall, I would have ripped her head off. "How did you know she called me that?" My fangs were extended, and I was pulling as hard as I could to get out of the chains. "I know a lot about you, Jonathan. But look at you, I finally found how we are going to get you out of this. Thank you for your cooperation."

       "Let's talk about your family. Your dad, you respect him, don't you?" She asked, and I just rolled my eyes at her. "I mean, I was only born to carry the family name and do a job I never wanted to in the first place. Resentment? You don't know the half of it." I laid down on the couch and lifted my feet in the air. "What about this job is so bad?" She asked me, and I took a pretty long pause, I guess I didn't have a real reason why I hate the job so much. "See, you have no reason at all to hate the job. You are helping people; you have one of the most important jobs. You just don't like it because you didn't choose it." I just scoffed at her. "You don't know anything." She thinks she knows what I am going through, but she has no idea. "You are half right. But let me tell you what I do know. I know that you look for the negative in your life. I know that you don't allow yourself to be happy. When things get good, you self sabotage. But we will get to that later. I want to talk about Maxwell and Olivia. Both are mates, but both very different."