To the Beat of My Heart

Afterword

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, had to get that out. It's finally over. I go through such a journey writing each book. This was without a doubt the hardest book I've ever written. I've gone through horrible depression. I've doubted myself at every corner. I look back at the complete story now and think about how much could potentially change. And even so... I'm proud. It's done. I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Like with all my stories, I wrap things up but not everything is just peachy and perfect. Fletcher still will have his depression, his doubts, just like me. Clay will have to fight so hard to keep in sync with Fletcher. The couples counselling will definitely help. They just need to be better at communicating. I think when I started going to therapy, I felt so much better and I just wanted people suffering and hurting to know... it can and does get better. I've been in so many spots where I really couldn't see how anything could get better. I know what it's like to feel so hopeless. And yet, life and circumstances do change. Even if it feels like an impossibly high mountain right now.

I wanted to talk for a second about Kai. Man, do I love him. He is such a wildcard and yet he went through so much growth in this book. Will he stay Ansel's boyfriend forever? If you end your journey here, that's for you to decide, but if you want a more definitive answer, then you have to check out my next project. One I've been teasing since Autumn Leaves. Ansel is such a softspoken, vulnerable guy who doesn't really get his chance to stand out. I want to address that.

Oscar sees Ansel as a viking storyteller, someone full of so much life and explosive energy. For Clay, he's a chill guy with a big heart. For Kai, he's a solid, earnest dude who he wants to protect. Someone who inspires him to do better. For Fletcher, he's a friend for life, a complex, hurting kid, just like him. There is that silent connection that draws them together. And also kind of pushes them apart. Ansel was a pretty major character in Autumn Leaves, and is a big character here, but he needs his time to really shine.

So for one final swansong on Wattpad, ending this shared universe of mine, Ansel deserves a little more than a short story. And I don't have it in me for a full novel. So we meet in the middle. A novella is perfect for the kind of story I'm telling. Ansel's novella is already fully plotted and mapped out. I have the title and cover, even a blurb sitting there unpublished on Wattpad. I wanted to get it out after this. But I can reveal the title. It was even teased at by Fletcher there in a beautiful little description. Without further ado, I hope you give Ansel's story a shot in...

The Forest in His Eyes.

Coming soon!

We will see four key stages of his life. We will see some of his perspective during the events of this book. And a time after. We will also finally get an answer to the significance of his shades. While that question wasn't important to answer in this book, it was enough to know that he could take them off at the end, that he wasn't hiding behind a totem of his past, a superhero cape to hide his true vulnerabilities. 

Thanks so much for sticking with me and for all the kind, thoughtful comments, and all the feedback. If you made it this far, I love you. If you were disappointed, that's valid, but I'm happy you stuck it through all the same. It is rough and raw and so much of me. I have to be proud of that.

Till the next time. :)