Find Yourself

Chapter 4

The Big Date

      Victor took one last look in the bathroom mirror of the Italian restaurant that Kim had carefully picked out. Victor made sure to mention that Benji loves meatballs, they were "So ugly, but so good!" He was beyond nervous, he never felt this way before any other date he had ever been on. He felt this sensation of butterflies in his stomach, but it was more than that, he felt so anxious that he could probably throw up. It wasn't a bad feeling, it was just a feeling like his life was about to change, for the better. He walked over to the bathroom, sink to splash water on his face. He needed something to hide the fact that he was sweaty.
     When he got to the sink, he took one last look at himself, and damn Kim and Justin did a fantastic job. His new outfit fit so well that it made him look like someone he could barely recognize. He didn't hate this new look either. He looked so fashionable. With just changing his shirt and jacket, he looked so damn hot. The jet black bomber jacket against his maroon t-shirt was something that he could not deny looked amazing. He really wanted to wear Simons jean jacket, but Justin vehemently argued as to why it was out of the question.
     Victor had lost track of time checking himself out, it was almost 8:00 PM, time for the big date. He walked to the bathroom door, trying to get to the table before Benji so he wouldn't look like he was nervous about going on a date with his boyfriend. He was still in awe that he had a boyfriend. Just 48 hours ago, he was with Mia and unhappy. Now he was the happiest he has ever been in his whole life.
     Before he got back to the table that Kim had to bribe the maitre d'. Victor was against bribery, but Justin assured him that this was the perfect place for the first date. During the whole bribery, Simon and Leah caught up to them, and they slipped him the key to the restroom. Honestly, he couldn't believe how wonderful his friends were.
     As Victor sat down at the table, he saw Benji, and OH MY GOD, he looked terrific, no not terrific. Words couldn't describe how seeing Benji made him feel. He looked as if he never changed anything, Benji has always been flawless, but that brand new button-up shirt only buttoned up partway, showing off his toned pecs was more than enough to make him speechless. Trying to keep his mind on the date, his mind immediately wandered to what was going to happen after. Getting to lay next to that is going to make it hard for him to sleep.
     "Oh shit!" He thought. I need to calm down so this date can be perfect. He immediately looked down, and holy shit, he was more than turned on, he was hard. "Never had that happen before." He thought to himself, trying to calm himself down, not just jump him in the dinner booth.
     As Benji walked up to the booth that the two were going to share, Victor stood up in complete disbelief that this man was his boyfriend. But what was more surprising was the look on Benji's face, he looked as if he felt the same exact way. Benji walked to Victor and took both his hands, "Victor, you look amazing," he leaned in for a kiss, wrapping his arms around his waist.
     Victor felt himself getting turned on again, and with the fact that Benji had pulled them in so close, he was sure that Benji knew as well now too. Victor looked into Benji's eyes, and all Victor could do was just blush. "Should we sit down?" Benji asked, not wanting to let go of Victor, still staring into his eyes. "Um, ya," Victor says softly, not wanting to move either, but he moved to sit on the seat of the booth, Benji followed right behind him.
     As they both sat down, all they could do was stare at each other. Benji rested his hand on the table, and like it was something so natural, Victor grabbed it. He intertwined their fingers, and it felt so natural that it felt like that before the date, but now Victor knew that this was real. He knew that from the first moment he saw Benji, this is what he wanted, and he was just speechless that it was actually happening. "Victor, you look-" Benji started to say, not taking his eyes off Victor. But Victor finished the thought effortlessly. "Beautiful." Victor paused, still taken aback by the moment, "You look Beautiful Benji Campbell."
     Benji felt as if he couldn't move, he felt the same way, and it scared him to death, never before had a guy had this effect on him. Victor took his breath away from the first moment he saw him, but this was different. This was something new, it was like he was looking at someone he had known his whole life.
     "Hello, my name is Mike. I'll be your server tonight." The tall, very good looking man, who Victor knew all too well, said in a fancy black and white waiter outfit, "Would you like to hear our specials? Or any drinks for you two?" Benji looked at the server who was fixated on Victor and just quickly said, "Two glasses of water, please?" Victor looking uneasy since he recognized him from Messy Boots a few days ago, "Um, I am ready to order, what about you, babe?" Victor put his hand on Benji's trying to prove a point to the server that there was no chance. Maybe a few days ago, but not now.
     Benji picked up the menu, taking a quick glance at what was offered, and quickly chose the Spaghetti & Meatballs. Victor overlooked the menu quickly, not trying to look at the server. He must not have hidden it too well, because Benji defiantly noticed. "I'll take the same." Victor quickly said, trying to rush the conversation. "I will have that right out for you!" Mike quickly said, turning around to leave. He could also feel the tension and didn't want to get in the way.
     As soon as Mike was out of earshot, Victor quickly said, "When I was here last time, I met him at Messy Boots, this gay club and we danced for a bit. I-" Benji interrupted quickly, "Victor, I trust you. You have given me no reason not to trust you." He turned his whole body to face Victor, "You looked really uncomfortable though, and I don't want you to feel that way. Do you want to stay?" Victor blushed, he didn't deserve Benji, but he was happy that Benji chose him. "Honestly," Victor paused, thinking of getting out of there, "Let's go. Honestly, I would be happy anywhere with you." Benji smiled more prominent than he had before, grabbing his hand so they could walk out of the restaurant together.
     Mike was walking back to the table with the two glasses of water as they were getting up, Victor looked him in the eyes and just blurted out, "We are going to go somewhere else, cancel our order please."
     As they got outside, hand in hand. Benji looked to Victor, "Where too now?" Victor used his free hand to reach into his pocket where the keys were. He wasn't ready to go to the room yet tho. He was enjoying tonight way too much.
     "How about we just walk around Times Square and maybe we get something to go-" Victor blurted out, feeling weird that he suggested to get food and bring it back to the hotel room. Benji's face turned redder than Victor's shirt. "Are you sure?" Benji made sure to look away. He didn't want to show off how embarrassed he was. Victor was ashamed now, he didn't want Benji to think that all he wanted was sex. "Only if you want too..." Victor just paused mid-thought, he didn't know how to get out of the awkwardness.
     Looking to break the tension, Benji started to walk towards the nearest subway station. "Let's head to Times Square?" He asked casually, wanting to break the tension between them, but he wasn't sure if it was working. Felling more brave than usual, Victor just blurted out his first thought: "Let's just head to the room and order in. I think it would be more special if we just sat and talked to get over the nerves we are having." He paused, in shock that he just said all that but just figured he would continue anyway, "Or maybe I am the only one feeling nervous-"
     Benji grabbed both of his hands, trying to calm him down. "Victor, I am nervous. I have never felt this way before, and it scares the shit out of me." He pauses, gazing longingly into Victor's brown eyes. Before continuing, his thoughts slipped out of his mouth, "Wow, I could get lost in those eyes." Benji couldn't believe he said that out loud, But Victor quickly came to his rescue, "Benji, I feel the same way. I am scared shitless right now, and I don't want to mess this up. After tomorrow morning, no more drama with Mia, just me and you. That is all I need."
     Biting his bottom lip the whole time Victor was talking, Benji pulled him in for a kiss that felt exactly like the hallway outside Simon's apartment. Benji wanted this and nothing but this for the rest of his life. "Was this love?" He thought to himself. It was too early to tell, but something about Victor brought out this primal urge that he had to satisfy, and being close to and kissing Victor was the way to satisfy that urge.
     Victor pulled away from the kiss and felt his face turn red. "We can do more of that in just a bit," Victor said as snarky as he could, biting his bottom lip, thinking of having him to himself all night long. Benji just laughed, he was ready to follow Victor anywhere.
———
     Victor walked up to there hotel room, a bag of food in one hand, and boyfriend's hand in the other. As Victor stops at the door, #305, he sets the bag on the ground. They chose to get Mexican food from this food truck that they came across. But that wasn't the point, they walked all the way to the room, hand in hand. Benji freaked out when they passed advertisements for Hamilton, and they took their first couple photo there. Victor lured him into the photo by being super cheesy, asking if Benji was ready to take "his shot." Benji laughed so hard that he couldn't resist, so they just had to be tourists for a few moments, even though they were technically tourists. It was after the photo that they saw the food truck that smelled so good.
     Looking around for the key to the room in his pocket, Benji stood behind him, his toned body pressing against him. It almost made Victor want to move slower just so that this could last longer.
     When the door finally opened, Benji bent down to grab the food, while Victor walked inside, seeing that both their bags of clothes were on the floor. Leah left a note on the queen-sized bed that just read, "V. Have fun and be safe! Love L" Victor showed the letter to Benji, who couldn't take his eyes off him now that the food had been placed in the mini-fridge.
     Victor couldn't resist Benji's pull anymore, he ran over to him and kissed him exactly as they did earlier. Time stood still again, and he wanted this moment to last forever. Benji reacted the same way because he pulled Victor into him as close as he could. They were almost one now. The feeling of Benji's lips on his was more than he could bear, they were softer than he remembered, and he loved that. Benji had enough of standing up while kissing, so he placed his hands under Victor's rump and picked him up. Victor wrapped his legs around his boyfriend's waist, he was ready for anything the now. Placing his hands on Benji's chest, Victor started unbuttoning his boyfriend's shirt. Which revealed his toned body. Sweaty from all the walking around the city and now the events of the past few minutes.
     Benji set his boyfriend down on the bed, lips not leaving Victor for a second, he couldn't let go. Victor pulled away for a split second to take off his jacket and shirt, just to throw them to the floor, not losing eye contact with Benji once. Once the shirt was off, Benji couldn't resist anymore because he pushed himself onto Victor, pinning him down so he could continue with this sensation, which he wished would last forever. Victor wrapped his arms around Benji, pulling him closer, he could feel the warmth of his skin on his, and it was the best sensation he ever had.
     Victor stopped for a split second, and all he smelled was the cologne that Benji wore all the time, and it was more than enough to get him to go further. It was an intense fragrance that smelled like a campfire and roasting s' mores. It was such a sexy smell, and he couldn't get enough of it. He took one of his hands, and he reached for his pants to take them off. Benji noticed what Victor was doing right away, "Are you sure?" He whispered, trying to make sure that Victor was 100% ok with what would happen next. Ripping his pants off the rest of the way, Victor just pulled Benji in for another kiss before nodding his head, yes.
     "Babe-" Benji started to ask before Victor as he began to take off his pants now. That was all that Benji needed to go on. Before he knew it, Victor had his pants off now, too, which was more than he could resist. Looking at his boyfriend, Victor knew what he had to do next. He reached for his bag. Unzipping it, not taking his eyes off Benji, he felt around inside for Justin's box, but it wasn't there. Victor looked to his bag in shock, he could have sworn that he put it on top of his clothes.
     "What's up?" Benji asks, barely taking his lips off Victor, but only to place them on his neck. That made Victor start to moan, and loudly too. He was enjoying himself a little bit too much because all Benji did was kiss his neck a few times, and by the looks of it, Victor was pretty excited. "Heh, looks like someone is ready to go," Benji said, trying not to laugh at the reaction he got.
     "Well, I would like to, but I can't find the box." Victor blurted out, looking embarrassed and defeated. "Let me take a look," Benji said quickly, sliding his body over Victor, now his toned chest was right in Victor's face. Benji thought to himself, "I have him right where I want him." Doing a quick search of the bag, Benji came to the same conclusion that Victor had, the box wasn't there.
     "Babe, I can't find them either," Benji said, rolling off his boyfriend, he didn't want to go any further without the condoms, and he was 100% sure that Victor would feel the same way. "Well, what do you want to do now?" Victor got up and asked Benji, who was sitting at the edge of his bed in his boxers next to him. "I'm getting pretty hungry, we could always heat up our food," Benji replied. Nodding his head, Victor got up and started to make their dinner, trying not to give too much of a show to Benji, since there would be no satisfying conclusion this night.
     After the food was ready, Victor handed the warmed up plate to Benji, and they sat there and talked for hours. In Victor's mind, this was better, he really got to know Benji, and it made them grow closer. He could tell Benji felt the same way too because even though sex was off the table, he still had the same enamored smile on his face from ear to ear with every word Victor had to say. From Victor talking about his adventures in elementary school, family road trips before things got so bad, having sleepovers at his grandparent's house, even though they just lived on the other side of town. Benji loved every word he had to say, Victor felt happier in those moments than he had his entire life.
     Benji, in turn, told him the stories of road trips to Dollywood with his dad, or the first time he sang for a crowd of people and that he knew at that moment he could sing forever and never feel sad, and to the first time he saw the ocean with his family on a family vacation to Disneyland and how he knew he was gay on that trip because he thought Aladdin was more attractive than Jasmine. He even told his mother that, and she just laughed and bought him an Aladdin hat. He also admitted that he still has the hat, which amused Victor very much.
     "Holy shit, babe!" Victor blurted out from their laughter, looking up at the clock on the nightstand since they were on the floor, talking all night, "Its 3 AM." Benji looks at the clock to make sure, and he just smiles, "We should probably get to bed, babe!" Victor stood up quickly, colliding with the mattress's side, and when he did, he heard a thud, something must have fallen off the side of the bed. Benji jumped over the bed to see what it was, only to pull up the box.
     Seeing it made Victor's face turn beat red, he remembered how much he wanted that box earlier, but he got more satisfaction from just talking all night, but he couldn't help but get the biggest smile on his face. Pulling himself up from the floor, Victor got on the bed next to Benji. One look into those greenish-blue eyes, and it was all over.
—————
The Next Morning - 9:00 AM    Victor woke up in Benji's arms again, well last time they were clothed, this time they weren't, there was a bed this time too, which he was 100% ok with. Looking over from just waking up, he saw Benji just lying there. He seemed so happy, which made Victor happy. Also, Victor fell asleep in his boyfriend's arms, which was pretty much a perfect night. Nothing could ruin the good mood he was in now. At least nothing, until he remembered he had to meet Felix and Lake this morning in Times Square. He wasn't ready to get out of bed with his boyfriend yet, but he knew they had to take the subway. With a quick kiss on Benji's cheek, Victor got up to get ready for the day.
     Looking at the floor, he remembered how they just talked the night away, and that made him smile. He could have sat there all day and night with Benji, and it would have been perfect. He couldn't stand their all-day though he had to go get ready. He had to be in Times Square in two hours, and he didn't know long it would take him. Looking at his naked sleeping boyfriend one more time, he leaned over and kissed him softly before heading to take a shower.
    When he got out, Benji was up and getting his clothes ready. "Good morning, handsome," Benji said as he grabbed his boyfriend, who was only wearing a towel. "How did you sleep, babe?" Victor asks before giving him a quick kiss, looking at the clock. it was only 9:20 AM. "I slept great, especially because you were there." Benji says before stealing another kiss, "I'm gonna hop in the shower so we can be on our way." Taking one last look at his boyfriend in nothing but a towel, he closed the door behind him.
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                                                                     Times Square - 11:00 AM
     Victor and Benji were walking towards Goldfinch Coffee Shop. Victor had his arm wrapped around Benji's while they walked, he was nervous, and Benji knew it too, this could go very bad very fast. They only chose this place because they all loved coffee, I mean, who doesn't. Lake made a point to name drop this location, plus it's a good place for the four of them to sit down and talk. Especially since Victor was sure Lake was on a fact-finding mission for Mia, but he wasn't ready to rule out that she wouldn't be hiding either. That is why he asked Leah and Abby to be nearby in case things got out of hand.
     "VICTOR," Felix yelled from the front door of the coffee shop. Right away, something felt weird because Felix didn't have the same demeanor that he usually has, which immediately concerned Victor. Apparently, it was so apparent that even Benji knew, why wouldn't he, though, he has known Felix a lot longer than Victor. Lake smiles and greets the two of them, handing them both a coffee, "Lets talk, boys." She took one look at Benji and said bluntly, "Victor first then you. Be a good boy and sit."
     Victor took the coffee from Lake and followed her inside, Victor took one look to Benji and hoped that he got what Victor was trying to say, "Get back up."
     "Victor, honey, sit down! Talk to us!" Lake said, looking scarier than he ever thought she could be. "This was defiantly a trap," Victor thought to himself. "Where is Mia?" Victor asked quickly, he wanted to get this over with. Felix's face turned white, he didn't want to betray his friend anymore, "She is in the bathroom-" Lake put her hand up to interrupt him as fast as she could, trying to cut Felix off.
Victor got up, "Felix, let's go. If the girls want to play dirty, we don't need them-" It was then that Mia walked out of the bathroom, looking angrier than he or Felix had ever seen her.
"VICTOR!" Came a familiar voice from the entrance of the coffee shop. It was Leah, Abby, Simon, Bram, and Benji to the rescue. That was what he needed, he couldn't face Mia alone and how dare she try and divide them. Victor just waived to his friends, walking to meet Benji part way and grabbing his hand. Making sure that she was him do it. If she was going to be nasty, Victor was going to do the same.
     Mia had a look of anger and disgust on her face that scared him, but he ignored it on purpose. She didn't scare him anymore. "Who is this man?" Simon said, looking right at Mia. He knew who she was, and he knew what she was here to do. "This is my ex, Mia," Victor said quickly, wanting this interaction to be over as soon as possible.
     "EXCUSE ME!" Mia screamed, "We never broke up, I saw you kissing Benji, and that was the last I heard from you." Victor remembered trying to explain himself to her, but she refused to even look at him, "I tried to talk to you, but you ran away with Andrew. I am sorry I didn't tell you, but I was figuring some stuff out, and if I knew before the dance, I would have told you."
    Benji looks at Victor, knowing that he knew before the dance, the motel room kiss was proof. Not wanting to add fuel to the fire. "Mia, I am sorry that you saw us kissing-" Victor started to say, but Mia continued screaming, "YOU ARE ONLY SORRY YOU GOT CAUGHT!" Lake just giggled at Mia's outburst, Victor was not a fan of her anymore, his best friend deserves better.
     Leah had had enough, "Listen, you temperamental hormonal bitch, Victor couldn't help that he was figuring out that he is gay. Sorry, your feelings got hurt snowflake, but what the FUCK is your problem?" Everyone was just staring at her, she wasn't holding back. Victor didn't mind at all, and it made him happier than ever, so he let her keep going, "If I can get over Simon trying to hook me up with Nick-" Abby cut in now, she wanted to join in on the scream fest, "AND not to mention how Simon tried pimping me out to Martin Addison." Simon went beat red, and all Bram did was laugh before speaking to Mia, "Listen if they could forgive Simon, you could forgive Victor for kissing Benji before breaking up with you."
     Mia started to cry, she wasn't used to being talked to that way. Lake looked like she finally had a thought of her own this whole time, "You did kiss Andrew when Victor didn't show up for your dad's silent auction."
     "So, you got mad at me for kissing Benji, but you kissed Andrew?" Victor was angry now, and in Mia's face, "You are something else, Mia, I want you to leave." Everyone looked at Victor, who just told Mia Brooks to leave, "Go back to Atlanta, but I can't see you right now. I am sorry I hurt you, but your acting like a child."
     Mia walked out of the coffee shop, everyone had a turn on her, even Lake, her best friend. Victor took one look at Lake, "You go too. You tried to manipulate Felix and to be honest, Lake, I only tolerated you because of Mia. I thought you were a better person, but you're shallow you either want to hide him from everyone or you treat him like dirt, Felix deserves better." Tears were now streaming down Lake Merriweather's face, no one has ever spoken to her that way before. "Fine, Felix. Let's go!-" Felix took one look at Lake and said, "Victor's right, you all ganged up on me." Felix stood up to be eye level with her, "I am sorry that Victor hurt your best friend, but no girlfriend would ever act that way, so you should leave. I will stay here where I am wanted."
      Taking one triumphant look at Victor, "You look radiant today! Did you do something with your hair?" Felix said, trying to break the tension, and it must have worked because Victor gave him the biggest hug. "So, what's on the agenda today?" Everyone just laughed, and Felix looked at his new friends. He could tell he would fit in with all of them.