At the beginning of the year, Allie was no one
Now she's infamous
**
Until her eleventh birthday, Allie didn't believe in magic. How could she when her mother had died when she was barely two and her father had never been around. Her life wasn't ver...
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"Oh my God!" Fudge was an incoherent rambling mess, "He's dead. He's dead. Diggory...Cedric Diggory's dead."
Harry was still lying where he had fallen on the floor, arms wrapped around the cup and Cedric's body. His body... He was dead. Cedric was dead... Cedric was dead? But he couldn't- he just couldn't be dead! I knew they made it clear that people could die in the tournament but I always figured that was to hype up all the tasks. The ministry had said they had worked everything out, they'd planned for months- months!- to make it safe and Cedric had died! I knew it was dangerous, I even wrote to Remus to say as much and he said that everything had been worked out at the ministry. He had said everything was safe. But it hadn't been safe, had it? Things had never been safe. And now Cedric was dead.
Everyone was still crowded around Harry and Cedric...or should I say Cedric's body? Dumbledore was trying to coax a crying and distraught Harry to let go of Cedric's body but the poor, dazed boy refused. He was crying and shouting something I couldn't quite make out. I seemed to be a million miles away. I was aware of everything that was happening but at the same time, it was like I was watching from high up above the stands. Like it wasn't really happening to me.
"He's back!" I heard Harry shout in anguish, "He's back! Voldemort's back!"
The crowd fell into another hushed silence as people started to hear what Harry was saying. The remaining teachers who were swarmed around Harry started ushering everyone back inside the castle. I moved along with everyone else as they filed out of the stands and trudged up the grassy banks to the castle. I was moving, I was aware I was moving and I could faintly hear people talking but I didn't feel like I was really there. I didn't want to really be there. I didn't want any of this to be happening. I wanted Cedric to be alive.
*
The Hufflepuff common room was the quietest I had ever seen it before that evening. It seemed that the entirety of Hufflepuff house had crammed into the common room and sat in revered silence out of respect for poor Cedric. The Hufflepuff quidditch team was sat in the corner where we usually had our meetups but no one was talking. Not even Kevin. I had complained about his incessant whining all year but I would have given anything to hear him complain about how Harry and Cedric had tied for first place and how it wasn't fair. That Cedric should win. That Cedric should be alive. I would have given anything to hear anyone say anything. I would have given everything and a little bit more to see Cedric walk through the entranceway to the common room and tell everyone to liven up.
I couldn't bear to be there any longer and got up, still in a far away daze, and went to sit in the silence of mine and Maddie's dorm room. Maddie noticed me leaving and followed me, no doubt realising something was wrong. Not much gets past Maddie. She followed me into the dorm and watched as I sat on the edge of my bed and just stared at nothing in particular. Maddie sat down on the edge of her bed next to mine and looked at me, waiting for me to say something. But I didn't, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. What was there to say? There was nothing that anyone could have said to make the situation better. Anyone perhaps Cedric.
*
News travelled fast in the wizarding world and it wasn't long before I received a letter from Remus. I read it as soon as I got it, just for something to do. All lessons had been cancelled in wake of Cedric's death but that left me with nothing to do but mope. I didn't want to do anything. Nothing would have made anything any better so what was the point.
I read Remus' letter and I read it again. And again. And again. But nothing seemed to be going in. I still felt a million miles away and nothing I did ever brought me back to reality so I had simply stopped trying. Emmy, Lee and the twins were handling things a lot better than I was. Sure, they had been surprised and grieved the loss of a classmate but they had never really known Cedric as well as Maddie and I did. Even Maddie was taking things better than I was. She hadn't been as close to Cedric as me. She wasn't on the quidditch team with him. She saw him around sometimes but spent more of her time with Kevin, seeing as he was head boy and she was a prefect. Maddie just didn't see things the way I did. None of them did.
Remus' letter mainly contained advice on how to cope with loss. I knew he had faced a lot of it, having lived through the first wizarding war, so part of me knew that his advice was sound but I just didn't want to follow any of it. He talked about opening up and dealing with the sadness and confiding in friends but I just didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I wanted to pretend none of it had happened at all but that wasn't possible. Cedric was dead. He wasn't around anymore. Everywhere I looked I saw his absence. I didn't want to talk to anyone about Cedric's death but I didn't want to talk about anything that wasn't his death. So I just kept myself to myself, hiding out in my room. And it worked, for a little bit, until Dumbledore announced in place of the end of term feast, there would be a memorial service for Cedric. I was hardly going to miss that. I couldn't do that to him. He'd want me to be there.
"You ready?" Maddie asked cautiously as she stood in the doorway, ready to leave for Cedric's memorial feast. I nodded and, taking a deep breath, stood up and followed her all the way to the great hall.
It seemed that no one was saying a word as they all filed into the great hall. Usually, the great hall was abuzz with chatter, especially at the end of term feast as everyone was making the most of the last night together before September next year. But this time was different. Of course, it was different.
The benches had been moved and instead were lined up in rows facing forward. Maddie and I were waved over by Emmy who had already found seats alongside Lee and the twins. The only empty seats left were either next to Fred or right the other side next to the wall. Maddie let me take the nearest seat next to Fred and she shimmied down the row of seats to sit in the seat at the very end.
Dumbledore stood at the golden eagle lectern, as he usually did at the end of year feast to give a speech about how far we'd all come in a year and how much we'd achieved. But this time, he looked out at the rows of students with a sad look in his eye and promptly gave a short speech in celebration of Cedric's life.
I was aware Dumbledore was speaking but his words didn't reach me. My brain seemed to lag behind what was really happening and for some reason, my mind was filled with Remus' words in his letter. 'Confide in your friends. Hold them close. You'll need them.'
From across the room, I caught Kevin's eye. He looked back at me and everything between us suddenly felt trivial. I smiled sadly at him and he smiled back. I hope he knew that I didn't care about anything that had happened between us anymore. Our friendship was more important than that.
"You okay?" Fred lent over and whispered to me. It took me a while to answer but I looked over at him, smiled a small smile and nodded. I didn't feel great right now, and I didn't think I would feel okay for a long time. But I had some amazing friends and I was going to get through this. Eventually.
*
The train ride back home was a very awkward one. No one felt like talking much, not even the twins. We said our goodbyes quietly when we arrived at the platform and soon enough I was left alone looking out for Sarah and Amy.
I caught a glimpse of Amy's red hair from across the platform and saw next to her that Sarah was talking to none other than Remus Lupin. I say talking, it was more like shouting, but both of them stopped the minute they saw me.
"Allie," Sarah sighed, looking sadly at me. Remus must have told her about Cedric's death, "Are you-?" she began but I stopped her before she could say 'okay' by hugging Remus any crying onto his cardigan. He tensed at first, undoubtedly being taken by surprise but started to relax and properly hugged me back. Who else was I going to turn to except my godfather?
