Windows To The Brain

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This post kinda sparked this idea.

I'm gonna try to not sound like I'm longing for something or someone.

I just wanna explain who I am for no reason.

Maybe if the right person reads they'd reach out or feel like they aren't alone.

I KNOW that there isn't anybody like me. I even personally believe that even the 'duplicates' or I read a girls you see that all act the same, are not, in fact, the same. One might be more bubbly, one might be more mean then the rest. That doesn't mean they're the same.

I know myself better than most people. Sometimes other people know me better than I know myself. They pick up on things I don't.
They pick up on the raspy voice I get when it gets too late in the night or when it gets too early in the morning.

Maybe they'll notice how long I'll go without talking. How long I'll go just staring. Doesn't matter when I'm staring at.

Sometimes they'll notice the small bits of orange that can show up in my eye.

Sometimes they won't.

Who is they?

I haven't a clue.

They is who I hope will be the right person.

Last time 'they' notice these things, I was hurt in the end.

I want 'they' to notice my little ticks and habits.

How I'll lick my lips when I'm nervous or at a loss for words.

How I just know how certain looks can get me something.

That I'll blink with my whole face if I get stressed.

The tick in my jaw when I'm angry.

The slouch I do when I'm done with the world.

It's dawned on me that if anybody would read this book, they'd remember this or not and know me better than I know myself.

Because most of the time,
I write without resolve.
Most of the time,
I'll say things in the spur of the moment.
All of the time,
I'll be imagining perfect future as soon as I see someone.

Doesn't matter who.

I'm a desperate dreamer.

That person I hope you'll never forget.

Those happy moments that you can only get with me.

Because there is NO ONE like me.

Yeah, will be similar. Not exact.

The other person that may seem like me may be a little shorter. Less observant.

That's another thing but I know that I am.

Observant and perceptive.
I can get a read on someone just from body language.

I know this for a fact.
I've spent hours googling and reading random articles.

Maybe I'm crazy.

I've been called that for how exact I can be when guessing someone's fear.

Something that someone who pays attention to me would know that-

•I stutter
•I suck at speaking when I'm nervous
•I hate my smile
•I smile a lot
•My resting face makes me look like I'm a bitch or I'm going to cry, which is true
•I can be so so mean
•I can be a flirt

Yippee, now you know more about me.

I guess?