𝟓𝐬𝐨𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐕𝐨𝐥.𝟏

Homesick (Calum Hood Smut)

He is going to break up with me. He doesn't want to upset me more now, but he is going to break up with me, I can feel it in my stomach. He is going to lay on his bunk bed now and think how easier it would be for him to just drop me already and live his life without me being a bitch about him being away. Fuck.

The night went by and the morning arrived, leaving me once more unable to rest. I feel like calling in sick, but going to work is the only thing that distracts me from the situation I am living in.
So, I pulled up my big girl pants and got to work, hoping that whatever I would have to deal with today would actually allow me to take my mind off of Calum.
But I found myself looking at my phone every five minutes, getting frustrated over its silence.

I walk in the house, finding Duke by the door, wagging his tail slowly at me. I reach down, petting him behind his ears before I drag my feet up to the couch, and plop my body on top of it.
I feel numb, empty, hollow, and I am used to it by now, but today it is even worse. I am waiting for him to call, but I am too scared at the thought of what he might tell me. He is going to break up with me, I know he is, I am waiting for that, but I just don't want it to actually happen.

Time drips slowly, I can feel every minute passing. I have nothing to do but wait and waiting messes with my head.

I imagine him already moving on, finding someone new, having fun with that person who is not me. My paranoia is only growing bigger by the second, until my phone rings. I grab the phone, staring at Calum's caller ID. My heart stops as I contemplate whether or not I should pick it up. I don't want to lose him.
"Hey." I say as I pick it up.
"I don't have much time before I go on stage. Check your emails." He orders, making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion.
"Are you breaking up with me over email?" I ask, stuttering.
"It is a ticket for you to visit me this weekend." He replies, making me sigh a little.
"I would never break up with you in any setting other than in person." He continues, making my eyes go wide.
"Are you flying me over to break up with me?" I ask, putting on a fight to not stutter.
"I have to go." He replies before hanging up. It is enough of an answer for me.

I open my emails, finding the digital print for my tickets. I sniffle, biting the inside of my cheek before I open Apple pay, sending Calum the money he paid for the tickets. If he is breaking up with me, I still get to keep my dignity.

I pulled a Princess Diana for the visit. First, I left the house, booking myself a hotel room to practically force myself to fall asleep. Duke is with Sierra; I told her I am visiting, but not the reason why.
Sleeping did wonders for me; I look a little more human and I am thinking a little clearer now. I decided that if he is going to drop me, I am going to show him what he is going to miss from now on.
Taking a whole flight in a tight dress and high heels certainly attracted a couple of stares. Yeah, I would stare too at the weird lady on my flight who's dressed to get dicked down.
There was a driver waiting for me at the airport, with a cheesy sign that bared my last name in a boring font. I am not even worth him picking me up in person.
The driver took me to a hotel, handed me a keycard for the room, and let me get up alone, to what I am sure will be the emptiest, most pathetic room. I wonder why he bothered with booking a room, he could have just done it in the lobby, or even outside the hotel. And I wonder why my return flight is not until Monday morning. Breaking up with me will only take him an hour maximum.

I go up in the room, unlocking the door and letting myself in, ready to play the waiting game until he arrives to give me the boot.
"Welcome home, princess." I hear his voice coming from across the room. I raise my gaze to meet his figure, keeping my expression neutral for now.
"Home?" I ask, leaving my carry-on on the ground before I walk further.
"You were clearly homesick, even though you were staying at our home. So I figured, since you are my home, I must be yours. So, welcome home." He smiles at me. I scan his body; he is either pulling a Lady D on me, or he dressed up in his whitest shirt and best trousers by accident.
"Cut the bullshit. We both know why I am here. Go ahead, say it." I provoke him, looking at him in the eye.
"You look gorgeous." He states, licking his lips.
"Yeah, yeah... Just break up with me already." I say frustrated, making him furrow his eyebrows in confusion.
"What?" He asks me, causing me to roll my eyes at him.
"Come on, Calum. Be a man already. You told me you would never break up with me in any other setting but face to face. I am here, I am looking at you, and you are looking at me. So, go ahead and let it out." I throw my hands in the air; I am certain my face is bright red by now.
"Why would I break up with you? I told you I would never break up with you over the phone. I didn't mean I would fly you here to break up with you. I thought you would break up with me." He points out, making me look at him in confusion now.
"Why would I break up with you?" I ask.
"Because I am always away. Why would I break up with you?" He asks me again.
"Because I am always nagging and whining about you being away." I reply and he chuckles.
"Not always. And you are not nagging. You had every right to tell me how you felt. Just because I signed up for that life, doesn't mean you did too." He replies, making me sigh and mentally slap myself in the face.
"Well, I kinda did. I chose to be with you, I knew what I was getting myself into. And it really felt insignificant. Still does. I was just... I am sorry." I exasperate making him chuckle and pull me into a hug.
"It is fine, baby. You don't need to apologize. You just missed me..." He strokes my cheek, making me look at my feet.
"I am so stupid." I groan and he chuckles, tilting my chin up.
"Love makes you stupid. I would know, it has made me an absolute buffoon." He strokes his thumb over my bottom lip.
"You dressed up for me..." I mumble, placing my hands in the collar of his shirt.
"And you dressed up for me..." He replies.
"Meh... I dressed up for revenge. I thought you would be breaking up with me, I wanted to show off what you were giving up..." I shrug and he gasps.
"Naughty little girl..." He mouths, leaning down to kiss me. I practically melt, and he has to hold onto me to prevent me from falling. I missed him, too much to put into words, but the moans falling from my mouth as he slips his tongue against mine.