The Retelling of Love

Part 40 Jaan e Shaheer!

Pooja's POV

What's happening with me? Sometimes I drool over him, then I get back to old feelings of love, then suddenly I remember everything, get jealous and angry, I try to act cordial with him but whenever he comes near me, looks in my eyes..I just get smitten and lose control over myself.
"Breathe in breathe out!"
Well it doesn't always work when you are in love. LOVE? STILL?
I don't know where I'm heading to. Coming on this trip while knowing he's on the same boat, is the most scariest thing I've ever done in my life. I get drawn to him whenever he comes close, just like a moth gets drawn to flame. It's toxic but he's intoxicating.
Toxic? Really? No it's not a correct word. Our feelings are just overwhelmed, which oozes and oozes and really don't get suppressed when we are with each other. I was shattered when he left me, or when I broke up, but now it feels like I'm rejuvenating, at some point. I'm getting more jovial and the old version of me is coming out. He brought me back. Am I controlling my heart so that I don't lose it again? Maybe! I am scared to fall in love again...I am scared to get cheated again, in his 100 ways like he does by not confiding into me...but this time I'm more scared to be alone again as I would return to India..I'm scared to be without him, to lose him..!

Around 12 we were back at hotel and today is a off so that we can roam around Thailand. But I don't have such plans and instead I'm analysing my feelings and my state of mind.
I called my friend, my Sakha who could really help me out. I told him how I just get troubled in an ocean of emotions and he simply said "yeh pyaar nahi to kya hai..you know you still love him and that too very much. Yaar ek bat kahu..aage jo hoga dekha jaega..and Shaheer ne vese bhi kabhi tum par cheat ni kia tha..it's just the situation that ruined everything.
Jo hoga dekh lenge..is bar tum or Shaheer sath me handle karna sab kuch..jaake kehdo use!"

"Kya kehdu?"

"Offo!! Ke tum use maaf kar chuki ho or mari jaa rahi ho uske liye..."

"Par agar fir usne kuch kia to, ya maine..ya fir humara break up hogya to..mai is bar nhi jhel paungi.." I cut him and he listened patiently.

"Sakhi..karm karo phal ki iccha mat karo! And all the best!" He put the call to an end but putting me back on the start line. I love him. I love him. I love Shaheer. I have to tell him this. I have to.

I knocked on his room door but it was locked. Where he had been? I asked Nirbhay and he replied that Shaheer had some urgent shooting, so he had gone there. The shooting location was far from our hotel and moreover I hadn't had any driver available..so I waited. I waited for his return and to just hug him so tight as he would come.
I am so excited.

It was around 4:30 in the evening when my phone rang. It was from Shaheer.
"Hello Pooja..you wanted to meet? Actually nirbhay called and he said that you have an urgent work."

"I never told it was urgent!" I smiled to myself.

"Well maybe he guessed. Okay I'm going back to shoot. Bye.."

"Wait! Wait! Tum wapis kab tak aaoge?"

"Abhi to nahi! Kyu kuch kam hai kya?" There was astonishment in his voice and I could feel him because he's surprised by my sudden change of behaviour. Haha!

"Haa..nahi!"

"Jo bhi hai, abhi mai 5 bje ke bad break pr hu, I'm near Moon Bar, agar kuch urgent ho to I can meet you there." He informed and I hummed.

I put the phone back and started getting ready in a white dress. It reached my mid thigh and I straightened my hairs, wore minimal makeup and I was all set.
To where? To the Moon Bar of course!

_____________

When I reached there around 5:30 , I realised that it was on 61st floor. Oh my goodness. How beautiful Thailand would look from the top. I went up there and Shaheer was at the entrance, all decked up in a black shirt and blue denims. And trust me, he was looking so gooooood! He never looked better. As he saw me he smiled and came to me, he leaned and whispered "I knew you gonna come." And he held my hand and took me inside but I was wondering what did he mean by that statement.
As soon as I entered, I felt the meaning of his words. Guess what?