All But Forgotten Mate (EDITED/COMPLETE)

5: Left Wanting

I had stopped because I saw her stir again.

"So what are you going to do with her, Alpha?" Jax asked out loud not realizing that she was waking.

"I'll put her in the far guest room, from my room, in my house. Keep her there until I'm ready for her. Your new mate is named Kelly, right?" I want her to know that she will be safe. Cared for, but I don't want her to get the wrong impression about my intentions with her.

"Yes sir." Jax must know I'm not in the right state of mind. He only calls me sir when I use my Alpha tone. Was I just using my Alpha tone? I don't know my head is so fucked up right now, I don't know what I'm doing.

"Well, she can make sure she is feed and has the necessities. That will be her new job as Female Beta." This will kill two birds with one stone. I can distance myself and keep Kelly busy, so Jax can focus on work.

"Are you sure you don't want her closer?" Dexter is screaming in my head to keep her closer. In our room. In our bed.

"I don't want to be closer to her. I don't want to feel for her. If I let the bond grow, I won't be free to do as I please. I'm the Alpha, I control my fate. I was only planning to mate with her, so my scent would discourage others from her. But Dex just had to mark her as we finished. I don't want a mate, but now that I have found her, my wolf won't let me reject her. I can't let her roam where someone could take her, or hurt her because it could kill my wolf. Mates make you weak, but I have to keep her close or Dex will take over, and he will be mating and creating little heirs all over the place. I also don't want kids. They would ruin all my fun. I want to fuck who I want, where I want, and how I want." I growled. I don't know how to handle all this right now. I haven't felt this out of control since I lost my parents. Why did this have to happen now?

"Ok man, I get it sorry. So what did you say her name was? Izza?" He asked now through the mind link.

"It's Izzabella, it just was easier to shorten it," I also like how it sounds. It's cute. Like her. Grrr... I should not be thinking she's cute.

"Awe, you already have a pet name for her. That's so cute Dev." I'm going to punch him in the dick if he doesn't shut up.

"If you still want to have your cock connected to your body when we get home, you will shut up now," I grumbled back through the link. After that, he didn't say another word. Quiet just what I need. Except for I can't stop thinking about her. About how she felt in my arm. Around my cock. I adjust in my seat. While starting at you mate. She is a hot little piece of ass that's for sure. I need to stop thinking about her.

When we got to the boat, I mind-linked Jax to carry her to the boat. I can't keep making contact with her. The more I touch her, breathe her in, the more our bond grows. I'm still not ready for that, but I'm not as against having her as much as I was before. I just need some time to figure out what I want now. Thankfully Jax didn't question my request and carried her to the cargo hold. I needed to keep her far from any unmated males.

We made it to Elders' Island in about two hours, when Jax came out with Izza, she looked worse apparently she had seasickness. Jax didn't look happy to be carrying my vomit-covered mate.

Once Izza was situated in the back seat of the SUV, we headed up the path back to my house. We had docked and got off the boat at my private pier, so it was only minutes before we were home. I had Jax carry her in again. I have a huge house that I share with my Beta Jax and his new mate Kelly. I guess I also share it now, with my mate too.

Jax and Kelly had found each other when we had to go to the mainland to negotiate and trade-off supplies about three months ago. Kelly was a busy body, that wouldn't shut up. She tried to control Jax with sex, and most of the time it worked. She represented every reason why I didn't want a mate of my own. I hope putting her in charge of taking care of Izza will give her enough to do that she will ease up off of Jax some. He's still adjusting and I can see the strain on him. He is still trying to find the balance between being a good mate and a good Beta. Which I respect and understand. Even if most days I want to rip her throat out with my teeth.

Off the backside of the house there is a closed-in training area, and on the other side of that is the packhouse. The packhouse then leads out into the town. Shops, restaurants, movie theaters, and anything else you would expect a community to have were located here. On the other side of the town was the gated retirement community. It's an honor among the werewolf world to be offered a spot to live here. As the Alpha of Elder Watch, I am guaranteed a place there.

We reached a room after a few minutes and I opened the door to Izza's new home. Jax gently laid her on the bed and walked out of the room. I was unable to move as I watched her from the doorway. Dex was trying his hardest to breakthrough. I felt my skin ripple as I fought for control. Dex wanted to hold and comfort our mate, but I couldn't allow that. I took long slow breaths as I tried to calm myself. I could see want and fear in her eyes. Followed by the faintest scent of arousal. Fucking bond. She should hate me right now. I hate me right now.

I had to leave. I shook my head and finally said "Welcome home Mate." As I closed and locked the door behind me and left, I leaned against the wall. I realized my body was showing a great need for my mate. I rubbed myself remembering the feel of her. Her smell still in my head had me light-headed, and before I knew it I had finished in my pants. I needed to change and shower anyway. It was 8 am, and so much had changed in the last 8 hours since I was released out into the woods.

I had forgotten that I had ordered to have three girls waiting for me in my room for when I returned. They were awake and waiting for me. There were one brunette and two blondes. I told the brunette to take a hike. I was in the mood to watch a blonde head bob up and down on my cock. I took both girls into my huge extravagant walk-in shower with me. They asked what I was in the mood for. If they only knew that she was on the other side of the house. I told them to clean me, then I guided one to suck me off and had the other one stand over her so I could suck her luscious tits.

Neither felt like what I wanted, but I kept the image of Izza in my head imagining it was her lips wrapped around me. Pretending it was her perfect hardpoints that I was rolling in between my tongue and my teeth. I came quickly. The one below swallowed all I had to pump out. I had them switch. Returning to my fantasy I looked down as I stopped using my mouth and let my hands roam over the girl up top. I watch the blonde hair swish back and forth. The bottom girl looked up at me as if she felt my gaze.

I growled, "Don't look at me. Eyes down." She did as she was told, and continued the job. She screwed up my fantasy and it took longer to finish this time, but like a champ, the bottom blonde sucked, stroked, nibbled, and licked until she had succeeded in her mission. Cuming loudly this time I screamed out Izza's name and both girls still not knowing what I was talking about. Fuck.

I turned off the shower after a quick rinse, got out, and started drying myself. I wrapped a towel around me and headed for my larger than a king-size bed. The girls followed once they were dried and came to join me. Part of me wanted to send them away, but the other part was afraid to. I was afraid if I didn't have them, I'd end up in Izza's room wrapped around her. One pressed her front into my back while I buried my face in the other's mounds, not wanting to look up and see that she wasn't Izza.

I finally passed out, I was exhausted. As I slept I had an innocent yet enticing dream of Izza and me. We were just lying in bed. I had an arm wrapped around her waist, kissing her forehead, while trailing my fingertips up and down Izza's spine, feeling goosebumps rise on her skin. It was peaceful and loving and at the same time cruel. Cruel, because I knew I could never be that mate.

I woke up every few hours looking for her in my bed, only to find the two whores. I was right to keep them here though. The dreams left me wanting, I'm back in my rhythm of being able to pull out. Dex encouraged this, as he did not want us filling anyone that was not our mate. He didn't have enough control to stop me from fucking them. He would at least guarantee that none of them carry his mark.